Do you find your behavior and how you are perceived changes from person to person?

[NoSeRider]

I am absolutely schizoid.

I've been working with the same people, for a long time. So I'm use to continuity....so lately with all these classes I've been taking I realize I act differently from person to person, class to class.......it's like being an actor trying to anticipate the audience, and you can bomb doing that.

I know that kind of behavior can be destructive.

Do you feel the way you act is formulaic? Are you the way you are all the time?

Hey, I'm into these humanist questions...what can I tell ya?

If you want to be an animator or a concept artist, you probably should discuss and study humanisms.

Back to the question on hand:

Do you feel the way you act is formulaic? Are you the way you are all the time?

[Ilaekae]

Serious question. Serious answer.

With people I don't know, I tend to react to cues from them for the initial contact, but this doesn't last long. With people I do know, I sound just like I do here...a little blunt, a little off the wall, a little sarcastic (but not to an extreme--probably "cynical" would be a better word), and a little...strange..for want of a better word. I can carry on five or six conversations at one time, and I often talk (and write) in a free-association-link kind of thing that unnerves some people. Because of this, I often resort to humor to soften the "intensity."

Bluntly, I leave some people with the firm belief that I'm a lunatic...and this seems to be consistent across the board after the first five minutes of dancing around. A kind of "what-you-see/hear-is-what-you-get-so-run-like-hell" thing...and it's definitely not done consciously...

[Shamagim]

Conversations are pre-made in your head, your brain calculates you responses according to previous experiences or opinions you might have developed or that someone might have impose on you.

For that matter if in your opinion a determined group is this or that, or if you are simply scared of the people of a determined area, your response will be set accordingly, either to preserve your ideals or to protect you from phisical/ phiscological harm.

Thats why is perfectly natural to be rude and vague with people you dont know, you dont know how to respond to them effectivly, or you just are not interested in knowing them ( probably becuase you already have a strong social group withou any known openings XD)

Also the reason why male/female teenages without previous experience with the opposite gender are considered "shy" and barely talk, they dont undestand the addressing group and have almost zero pre-made speech in their heads.

Same for any other case, including racists or political/ religious fanatics talking to any other peoson from outside their group.

[Blue]

In my head there is a singular sound to how to speak...when i am around some of my "thug-ish" roommates, its often hard to keep myself from emulating some of their expressions.

"niggas be wantin to roll, but niggas aint got no funds!"

Yea yea, i think its funny now, but stick me in a room with them long enough and it scares me how much of that starts to pop into my vocabular. Reading a well written book can help though. I am reading The Hitchhiker's Guide To the Galaxy at the moment so I often catch myself joking around like the characters do in the book...so only my sudo-intellectual friends get the jokes.

Well, in any case, you get the point. It can be rough for you to keep a rock solid persona when you are instinctivaly adapting every step you take.

[Poohgee]

I try to be myself allways .. sometimes more sometimes less .. & allways friendly .

I have the feeling I read my own comment somewhere before or heard it in some crappy film .

Deja-vu :-)

[darth massacre]

Its alright to be a little insecure about how you should act based on what you feel the person sees you as. I think everyone is a little like that. It should become more comfortable as we grow older. For myself, most times I am too slow to react or act properly so over the years I accepted that being unable to "act" in social situations is just me. I don't act, nor pretend, and I call a spade a spade. Hence most friends who don't know me very well or new friends believe I'm not a very "feeling" person which is true coz I tend to hide my emotions.

[Dizon]

I am the way I am all the time. Just a quiet, shy, boring, reclusive person. But I like it. It's a preference. Although I don't mind socializing with others, but that's only when it's appropriate or necessary. It's also ironic that I socialize, but at the same time I feel like I have social anxiety disorder. I also am humorous at times but very rarely, whether intentional or not. It's nice to make people laugh though.

[CaptainInsano]

Noserider, that is an interesting question.

I have a degree in Psychology and learned a little bit about personality-types. Most psychologists agree with what you question. Yes, people act different around different types of people. For instance, when with your friends, you are a slightly different person than when you are with your parents. Your "persona," as they called it, changes because the nature of your relationship changes with different people. When you're talking to your boss, you choose different subjects of conversation, and put on a different front, than when you are with your girlfriend.

That being said... when is a person his, or herself, in the natural state? I would likely say when you are by yourself, with no one around, are you in your most natural "persona." But I think a lot of people would dissagree and say that being alone is just yet another persona-type.

Hmmmmm :thinking.....

[MoP]

When you're talking to your boss, you choose different subjects of conversation, and put on a different front, than when you are with your girlfriend.

I'd bloody hope so! I don't think you'd be advancing your career much if you said "So, how about some hot sex tonight, baby?" to your boss...

[blog]

interesting thread.

[Blue]

I'd bloody hope so! I don't think you'd be advancing your career much if you said "So, how about some hot sex tonight, baby?" to your boss...

Well, if you could and all went well, you career would have a bright future, no?

[Floris Didden]

You have different relationships with different people, so it's only natural that you don't act exactly the same to everyone. Ating very differently is something else though.

I really enjoy different accents, and when I'm around people I pick up the accent fast, often without noticing it, in the end I just keep what I like and toss out what I don't .

[madster]

Serious question. Serious answer.

With people I don't know, I tend to react to cues from them for the initial contact, but this doesn't last long. With people I do know, I sound just like I do here...a little blunt, a little off the wall, a little sarcastic (but not to an extreme--probably "cynical" would be a better word), and a little...strange..for want of a better word. I can carry on five or six conversations at one time, and I often talk (and write) in a free-association-link kind of thing that unnerves some people. Because of this, I often resort to humor to soften the "intensity."

Bluntly, I leave some people with the firm belief that I'm a lunatic...and this seems to be consistent across the board after the first five minutes of dancing around. A kind of "what-you-see/hear-is-what-you-get-so-run-like-hell" thing...and it's definitely not done consciously...

Take Ilaekae's reply, put the behaviour on steroids and caffene, multiply it to a factor of 6, and apply it across the board to all relationships, personal or not, and you pretty much have me summed up.
I Yam what I Yam, and I am a Yam...I do not gladly tolerate fools and idiots, but will cut anyone slack if they have a good heart, regardless their stupidity...But, I will still tell them they are an idiot, even if I love them (and sometimes especially because I do). It's only when people get to know ME that they can discern those subtle shifts in personality that relate to specific individuals or situations, but by and by, I am the same outspoken, brash, funny, intellectual, yet personable and entertaining asshole day in, day out, whether I am talking to friends, strangers, my cats, or even myself. I wouldn't say it is done consciously, as much as it IS a cultivated attitude that I have spent many years refining...

~M

[Flake]

It's only when people get to know ME that they can discern those subtle shifts in personality that relate to specific individuals or situations

I'm the same ( I think), for instance last weekend I found myself in a situation that made me very, very angry indeed.

A person who dosen't know me that well saw my response as "wow, you're taking this really calmly, I'd have been throwing things and punching people", whereas someone in the same room at the time who who knows me very well was like "Uh oh.." knowing that "jokey / lighthearted cynical response" means I am actually several miles beyond angry and approaching homicidal.

Sorry if that didn't make much sense, I've had a few.

[scumgrinder]

I am more tolerant with people i care about. Other than that i am very blunt, and antisocial. I get depressed a lot and I have a lot of social anxieties which affect how much I want to be exposed to people in general and my type of relationship with them. Even close friends know I isolate myself a lot, yet they accept me that way. Like Madster's, my horse is high. But unlike him I am aware that it's just a high horse. I'll gladly walk for the right person.

So, yes. Different people means different relationships.

[dogfood]

I certainly react to different people with different subtleties, but try to treat everyone with toleration and respect. Then I weird them out with some off-the-wall analogy <insert favorite dogfood-ism here>. From the Taco Bell guy to the Admiral, I get some strange looks.

But enough about me, who here is reacting differently to ParkerD since he changed his avatar from the affable Guy to psycho Kevin?

I am. I'm too freaked out to reply to his posts (I don't even want him reading this in case he decides I'm tasty).

[Ian Mack]

I honestly believe I'm myself all the time. There is a downside to not putting on a show because you're never the first person on anyone's list to call but I think I'm a solid guy nonetheless.

DO I believe that my attitude is formulaic? Now that I think of it, yes. I'm very easy-going, caring, and generally in a good mood and this is reflected in many of my relationships. However, when I am seriously frustrated I am definitely a diferent person.

I know people who do what you are doing in my classes but think of it this way. The different ways that you are acting...do they reflect anything of that person personality? For instance, you act more immature around younger people, and are more serious around people your age. I don't know if that's a bad thing other than you are trying to appeal to people. Or maybe you are more empathic than you realize and how other people act affect how you act.

[bizarre]

i think it's mainly about how comfortable you are with yourself and others, as well as how developed your self-image is, as well as how much self-confidence you have. if a lot of these elements are lacking, then it may be hard to, i guess, 'show them who you really are' instead of showing only the side of yourself that you think would appeal most to them.

of course, changing your mannerism and vocabulary and formality of your language based on the status quo just goes hand in hand with rudimentary social skills. though asking your boss if he/she is on for some hot sex might not be a bad idea, especially if there's a possibility of a promotion in there somewhere.

[Ilaekae]

I'm wondering how much of what we are/appear-to-be is a pre-programming we've either created or had created for us, especially when we're in a situation with those unlike ourselves.

For example, young people react differently at first when they're talking to someone much older than themselves, and vice versa. There's also a difference when talking to a "costume." I'm a product of the 60s and I absolutely refuse to wear a tie...EVER...and most of my clothing has paint and stains on it, not to mention that I look like Jerry Garcia's little brother. I tend to approach "suits" as if I were wearing one, even though I'm not. They find this kind of unnerving (which I like and use to my benefit...), but tend to be very polite and act shy/stand-offish with elderly women because I know they see me as a biker/rapist, an association they formed/were given in THEIR youth. Different is dangerous...therefore...

I've noticed one odd thing, and it was mentioned above by someone...I grew up in an old mill neighborhood where nearly everyone had an accent. Not only do I have a classic Pittsburgh accent, but I have an underlying "ammalgam" accent that makes me sound European if I don't suppress it. When I'm tired, or around someone with an obvious old world accent, it suddenly pops to the surface, scaring the hell out of everybody. Every time we visit the Amish or some of my distant relatives, my wife falls on her ass laughing at what I sound like...

[K-17]

I've had problems getting along with people throughout all of highschool. My class from art school sorta had to wrench me from my state of apathy (never told them how thankful i am that they were there). These days, when we talk, and the subject falls to something about me, i sometimes hear them say they were afraid of me back then. I go like "wtf", this coming from people that are great friends of mine now. The main evolution i've had around them is i've passed from icy to icy with occasional outbursts of babbling nonsense. I don't know wether i've actually changed or it's them that got used to it. Maybe it's both.

Anyway, i'm still kinda apathy incarnate around people i don't know. And i don't really have a clue how they perceive me. It's not to say i don't care; i just don't like the idea of striving to please people i don't have anything to do with. And even when i do know them, i'm still either too cautious or too idiotic.
I don't know which i'm being right now. If this were a normal conversation, i'd probably never say this much, but i find it's much easier to punch these keys than to actually talk.

[Maya]

I am largely unaccepted in this class island called England. I'm Native American and viewed as 'different' by every one of these tards. So much So that my fiance's Step Mother decided that because she hates me, she actually called social services with some fictious b.s. about how i'm 'so called' abusing my children and tried to have them taken away from me.

Because i'm different, my fiance's family ganged up on him and decided that it would be in his best interest to put me on the embassy door step and let them deal with me.

I hate this country and I can't wait to move to Australia, get married to my lover and get away from my fiance's retarded family.

[dogfood]

I fear change and hate those who are not like me.



Yup, that covers about 80% of the human race. That does suck, Maya.

[MarkHarchar]

Forgive me if this was said, my attention span is really low at the moment but, I'm not sure anyone is actually who they really are to other people. Everyone has good and bad feelings that they don't express, they are an amalgamation of the people they have encountered in one way or another. It is almost like we all have multiple personality syndrone as we portray one side of ourselves, that together with other sides makes us a whole person, to different people that surround us, partially for their comfort and partially for our own gradification.

I think we are all crazy. It's just that most are crazier than me.

[VirusArtist]

this thread is forcing me to look into the mirror and ask myself "who am I really?"... I forgot too many diffrent personas in one body