err help? architectural/environment anyone?

[Pootle]

Ok, I hope this is in the right place...
It's for a student presentation (architecture) next week, it's supposed to be a bike shop (no bikes yet - I wanted to sort out the rest first ). It feels very wooden to me andthe windows.. ergh!. Comments, crits, suggestions etc extremely welcome.
I have several more of these to do this week, so I'll try and add them in as I do them

[Form]

hey hey

well for a start it seems some of the perspective is off in places. i dont have the time right now (being at college) to take it into ps and see what lines dont match up, but im fairly sure something is 'off'. it just looks that way. Make sure the verticals are all true.

Secondly that lensflare makes it look ugly... lensflares are 2d elements that detract from the 'illusion of depth' that you need to achieve.

Finally it looks very plain because you have no detailing... powerpoints, light fixtures (IMPORTANT!) and decorum, plants and so on. On the topic of lights - you need to define your light sources very clearly and introduce some dynamics into the piece. At the moment the lighting is very ambient and washed out. Id like to see some spotlighting where the best bikes would be, maybe some reflective marble surfaces, etc.

i think the blue 2nd storey glass bits are nice. Keep going, post your WIPS. cheers mate

[Pootle]

Thanks Form, that's really helpful - I know where to start now!

I strugged with perspectives on the curves - I guess it shows more than I realised. I'll have a go at overlaying the lines in PS as you suggest and then have a go at the lighting and detailing and repost/update.

Thanks again.

[Pootle]

I came a bit unstuck on the perspective, I seem to have drawn this in half and half 1 and 2 point without realising/resolving the change over.... live and learn eh?

I know I have a lot more to do but I hope this is headed in the right direction...

Here's the next one too...

[Form]

cool, nice update. i can tell your on a tight schedule so we will call the first one finished! now as for the second one, im liking it a lot more so far, it has more visual interest.

one thing i would suggest to you is that you have your vanishing points far too close to the middle - they should be some way off your page.

the result of this is a parallax effect where the foreground elements below the horizon start to look real fish-eye and wonky. you need to keep the relative angle from an object to the VP fairly small (less than 45 degrees is good) - at least as far as the major shapes go. Try moving your vps out and watch what effect this has.

cool
good luck
and keep it up

[Pootle]

Thanks again Form, you are spot on with the VPs - mine are always on the page, otherwise I tend to move the paper and my drawing is knackered!

From what you say it sounds like it is better to work smaller (thumbnail up to A4?) then fix any wobbles in PS?

I think when I have these out of the way I need to have a session on perspective technique (other than my usual draw it and hope).

The foreground balustrade was supposed to be angled (see roughish axo)

but it sounds like like it doesn't read at all, again it started life as 1 point rather than 2! Rss!

My overall plan is for 1 or 2 more interiors, then 1 or 2 exteriors. The other interior sketches I have are 1 point, maybe it would be better to stick with that for now...?

and the other interior

Oh yeah, um sketches are atrium/gallery and function room respectively.

Ok er, not sure which to develop - starting with moving VPs like Form said! (Form - you really made a difference, thanks).

[Pootle]

I went with the first one, and messed with the perspective a bit to try and give it more space, end wall is still a bit off tho.

C+C invited/welcome

[Pootle]

Ok this is it, it's as done as I can make it...


feel free to shred it ....
go wan go wan go wan.....(ref. father Ted (UK TV comedy))

[pissant]

First of all, the actual design for the building looks really cool. What year of the course are you on? Just curious, as a lot of my friends are doing their final year in practice at the moment. Anyway...

My first thought was that this looks a little M.C. Escher...certain parts of the perspective are out, but it's difficult to say which ones without spending more time on it. The fact the building is full of curves doesn't help figuring it out. One thing I would suggest is to block out in AutoCAD / Sketchup / Vectorworks: you can see Pene Menn doing it to good effect on these boards.

What I can see: if this is an eye-level shot, the figure should have its head at around horizon level, as it looks a bit midget-like at the moment. I don't know how big the room is, but the far door reads as about 25-35m away, as the perspective looks quite wide: it has an almost fish-eye lens quality to it (again, the curved walls enhance this-I've just read Forms comments: he puts it much more eloquently!). The blue lights also stand out quite a lot, you may wish to tone these down a bit. Looking at it, the handrail on the right may be what looks strange perspective-wise.

Well, I'm by no means an expert, so you can take or leave the above. I don't even your task, especially with all the curves and that roof-line. Good luck with this!

[Pootle]

Thanks Pissant! I'm 1st yr diploma (PT2). Are you doing architecture too?

I'm starting to see that Escher thing, bugger! It looks like one of those ever receeding doors now.

Curves - never again!
I'm going check out that Pene Menn link, sounds good.
Yeah eye-level came out really high, just above door head, ouch. Not sure about making the figure bigger though or it will be taller than the door. Might take it out or move it downstairs.

Spot on with the handrail too, I think it is too curved (or maybe the brickwork is too flat - I couldn't figure out the texture map thing) either way, I'm going to crop it for now.

I'll have a play with the lights, I haven't done them in PS before so I'm still getting my eye in..... sounds like I need more time on that one.

I'm starting to wonder if having both walls curved, and the ceiling is too much, combined with the angled walls.....

my big session on perspective is clearly long overdue. I think I have left it too late to fix the curves, but with the stuff you pointed out I can certainly avoid drawing attention to the problems with the drawing.



I just checked out Pene Menn....
Whoa...


Thanks Pissant
and Form

I think I've learnt more from doing and posting these few drawings than about the last few hundred.

[Pootle]

Ok, this is the one I used in the end. pissant - I think you meant the LHS handrail (d'oh me)? Major errors are still unresolved - they mainly seem to be very fundamental (like perspective set up) - to be addressed before next presentation drw!


Just found out I have passed the portfolio review that this image was for, the examiner really liked my drawing work(ha ha - ironic, good thing he didn't look on CA, or I would have had no chance!)

Thanks again to all who critted (is that a word?), anyway thanks - it is much appreciated!