Can I get some advice in this one?

[a-k-m]

Hello,

I did a painting with a similar composition before and got some advices from you people.
This time I tried to follow these advices.

What could be corrected this time?

Thanks for feedback.

[Ally Hodges]

Hey a-k-m!!

First thing for me, I think the foreground is way too dark. I know you are probably trying to create a silhouette, but I think lightening it up will help a lot.

I think you should go back to the design stage. If you can, make this a thumbnail first and design your shapes. The foreground can be your darkest shape, the middle ground can be your midtone shape, and the sky can be your lightest shape. It will help you define your shapes better, your shapes seem a bit mushy, but I think that you just need more time playing with photoshop. Good luck!

[a-k-m]

Cool thanks for the hints...

here's the improved version:

[Aceoko]

I'd lighten the foreground, you've made it a little too dark, or at least too dark for the very bright clear sky, as goes with the colours, it's bright and sunny out but the colours are muddy like it is grim and cloudy out. The tree branches need work and I'd maybe get rid of the second little tree as it is blocking the view of the construction in the distance. That also empties it up for some other stuff, maybe throw in some birds on the right or whatever relevant. The perspective on the stream seems a little off, needs to be more horizontal, set up some perspective lines. I did a quick paint over simply to show visually what I meant, you can easily decide if you want to get rid of the tree or not. It's not the best, I'm sorry, I only have a laptop mouse at hand hence the retarded birds and blurriness.

[Lightship69]

I would say post the references for this and we can then see where you are trying to go with it, and then hopefully we can help steer you in the right direction.

[Meteor Panda]

Wheres the light source? tree bark and rock should reflect light differently to say, dirt and grass. the path in the middle, is it a river or a dirt path? l think a few horizontal strokes could also help level the ground.

The trees seem a bit to mathematically correct to be natural. every branch has two main branches coming off, etc. Use a reference of dead trees, it could help break out of this tree branching style. Also another thing about the trees. why are they all dead with he landscape looking pretty green and healthy? it is ominous and maybe if you want to keep them, expand on this feeling of dread and uncertainty?

but..overall, l think this has a lot of potential, l personally suck at landscape drawings so l can't really give the best advice but hopefully you find something useful out of all of it ^ ^

[a-k-m]

Yes, I was also thinking, that there is missing something on the right side... The tree was too prominent and too heavy, there was nothing to balance it on the other side. But just the simple trick you mentioned of deleting half of it makes a huge difference

And the birds are a good idea to give more balance too!

Unfortunately I have no reference, I did it from imagination and or as an enhancement of my older thread's painting (http://conceptart.org/forums/critiqu...ding-them.html)

I tried to lighten the foreground and mostly the main tree as Ally Hodges recommended. But it seems that I fell back to going too dark again. I'll fix it.

The light is coming from the top left. haha, the stream in the middle was supposed to be an highway or a street leading to both towns. Well I guess I have to work on that too

When I started I wanted to have a rather dead looking landscape, maybe post-nuclear style or a cold winterday (without snow though). It was not my intention to make the grass too lively.
On the other hand, grass is one persistant plant that grows when other plants are giving up eg.



Again thanks for all the help, I apreciate it much

[LaCan]

How about drawing what you see when you look through your window?

Then make another version of the same drawing, adjusting it to look more "post-nuclear".

[a-k-m]

little update to this one, trying to consider your advices:



Thanks for critics in advance

Ps: P.S: In the meantime I took out more saturation of the birds in the background, decreased the size of the fighting birds and tweaked the color of the tree right behind the first foreground tree... was way too brownish

[a-k-m]

ok, here the latest update... I will have a break now from this painting. But I still appreciate criticism

Cheers

[Lhune]

Biggest problems I can spot right now; there is no middle ground (it goes from very dark foreground to very vague background almost instantly), the colors are very lifeless and there is no focus point. I'm looking at the fighting birds as much as the turquoise pillars as much as the distant city; neither of the three seem more or less important. Also, your picture is huge. I don't know what size you work at, but work small first so you can keep a good eye on what you're doing.

Super quick paint-over GO.

[a-k-m]

thanks a lot, very nice paintover! I'll definetely take your points into account.

Just a question...

How do you give more importance to an object in order to make it a focal point?

For example with the trees... Should I make them less detailed so they don't catch the eye? The turquoise pillars... Probably they are redundant and I can take them out so that the eye wanders then directly to the city in the back... and to make the city in the back the second focal point I would have to decrease its value even more?

I guess my painting is bit too overloaded maybe I should take out one of the mountains/ rock formations

[fersteger2]

To give more focus to something cast a light on it, or make it a strong dark color against a light color, simply spend more time rendering out that particular area. Make the focus stand out somehow, maybe it's the only craggly ragged shape in a picture of softly painted mountains and clouds, there is a lot you can do.

I think the sky and clouds are too fake, they do not overlap the trees or have a natural movement, spend 45 minutes painting clouds out of a window and then paint some clouds in a painting like this later that day, and you will be amazed how much more control you'll have and how much better they will turn out.

[LaCan]

Nothing says post-nuclear like birds flying on a blue sky over green hills

First off, don't do this:


or this:


or this:


Painting vegetation with brushes resembling vegetation won't make vegetation look more like vegetation. Same goes for clouds or cracks in a road. This type of micro-fiddling will just lead you astray. You should be concerned with global composition of values and/or colors. Not some "realistic" moss pattern in the corner.
If you want to learn to paint, use only opaque round brushes. Practice arranging large shapes. Stay away from "detailing", however seductive it may be.

If you're interested in landscapes, primary thing to do is to observe and paint real landscapes, not imaginary ones. Excellent book "Drawing Scenery" by Jack Hamm can show you ways to interpret, simplify and compose what you see in nature.

Here's a paintover with some process hints. 5 minutes, no reffed mouse paint, for what it's worth:

1. Make a rough value composition. Split the image into dark, midtone and light. Shapes should be simple but interesting. Your centers of interest correspond to areas of highest contrast. Design them. Take care to stick to this plan throughout the rest of the process. I opted for dark foreground, midtone distant layer and light sky. This arrangement is common in landscapes. It's enforced by natural light sources (sun, sky) and atmospheric fog.


2. Have a conception of space. Decide where the horizon is, where's your main "ground plane", and what your main objects are (rocks, hills, etc). Use simple geometric primitives to represent them in perspective. Establish approximate light direction. Deduce lit and shadowed sides of your objects.


3. Block in using largest possible brush.


If image is not "working" at this stage, start over. Try different composition or value strategy. Repeat the process until you have something satisfactory.

[fersteger2]

Word. Listen to LaCan. Follow those steps and until you've got a good hang of it!

[a-k-m]

Thanks laCan, next time I start a painting I will have to do much more planning and follow then your steps. For now I just overpainted my existing one. And I'm going to check out the book you recommended.

Any crits on the current paintover?



PS: I realised, I was painting all the time with only 25% zoom. Now it appears really big

Just another question to add: Everybody is recommending me to draw from real life... I would love to do so but unfortunately I cannot move my computer. I do draw from real life from time to time with a ballpoint pen, however, I would like to go on with colors.
What kind of coloring tools would you recommend for painting outdoors which are handy to transport and not too expensive?

[a-k-m]

little update

another question... my painting looks so "soft"...
How do you get rid of the soft looking painting? by using some kind of texture brush, or even a photo textures? or is there a way to avoid it already when painting it with the standart brushes?



I drifted a little away from the initial painting.

[a-k-m]

another update... I think I will leave it like that and will consider all of your advices in the next painting. I already learned a lot from it in this painting and they really helped me pushing it at least a little bit.
Thanks to all!