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Thread: Ifrit - personal work needs critique :)

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    Ifrit - personal work needs critique :)

    hi guys, here is my latest illustration. critiques are mostly welcome thanks
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    I STRaY I's Avatar
    I STRaY I is offline Registered User Level 4 Gladiator: Meridiani
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    I like it, but I like everything. I can't speak on the more technical aspects. I would say the image is pretty large as posted. I had to zoom out to see it all. Also that the knight has some issues. And appears flat as well as do the steps. *edit* Googled "Ifrit", didn't realize he belonged to something, so that answered my other questions I had previously.
    Last edited by I STRaY I; January 29th, 2013 at 01:58 PM.

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    Dumb Naked King is offline Procrastinator Level 1 Gladiator: Andabatae
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    Just my personal opinion, feel free to ignore me entirely as this is more epic that anything I could ever make, but what exactly is the hero doing in this picture? I a bit hard to tell, partly because of the crop. Is he hiding? Giving up? Waiting to strike? Scratching his butt? I would have liked to see him look a little more excited/scared/ready to strike/something. Right now he's looking kind of absent-minded (my first impression, going by the eyes looking at nothing in particular and the position or his arm, was that his cellphone is ringing and he's reaching down to pick it up out of his pocket). It's not so much "Holy smokes giant flaming monster from hell" as it is "Aw f*** I forgot to buy milk"... I mean, I'd be peeing myself maybe have his left arm sticking out more from his body and pressing against the rock instead of hanging by his side? Or something else to imply that he's preparing for some kind of move?

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    Griffonnage is offline Registered User Level 4 Gladiator: Meridiani
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    I like it too very nice illustration !

    But I think the fire (well done) miss some punch. You can definitly make it more brighter in the inside part of the monster. Currently, your image miss some value in the white tones...
    I think the hiding knight can have some more contrasts too, the backlight (blue) and the light coming from fire reflection are at the same level and hit the same way the armor, it's hard to understand the fire reflection as fire reflection.

    That's not big changes to do, you are almost at a very good point, it's just some tweak you need now
    * My current blog
    * Sketchbook page on CA.org coming soon...

    Have a good and creative day !

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    jhonshadow is offline Registered User Level 3 Gladiator: Catervarii
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    well I want to add something about the warrior aswell Now the warrior is super clean, no dirt, no damage, no story or any action done so far. Imagine if the warrior did an attempt on killing the monster, but is failing so far, he's injured and maybe a second one is trying to safe him while he's hiding, another aspect is that the warrior is distraction for another on to hit him while the monster isn't looking, ...
    I miss the feeling a bit, you can't feel afraid since the warrior is looking angry or feel pain in the picture.

    push the story and emotion and this paint is awesome

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    moonskittles is offline purveyor of stardust and muffins Level 4 Gladiator: Meridiani
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    The biggest issue on this to me is that it's very flat. Take a look at these quick changes i made.
    Name:  ifrit.jpg
Views: 330
Size:  299.7 KB

    I didn't much get into the problem with the Ifrit's face, though. It looks very two-dimensional. Take a look at those horns and imagine how some parts should be closer than others, and thus some bits should be in shadow, etc. Take a look here:

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    StefRob is offline Registered User Level 3 Gladiator: Catervarii
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    Like the others I like it and I concur with moonskittles idea.
    I'd just add that as it's surrounded by fire you should add fire reflections especially on the horns and protruding parts more generaly.

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    HoodwinK is offline Am I supposed to be the one? Level 1 Gladiator: Andabatae
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    moonskittles did the job.

    hopefully we can see SaintLConcept finish this

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    wow guys, im totally happy with the critiques im getting this has been really helpful guys thanks alot!! work has not been friendly tho hahahahaha, i didnt actually plan anything for this painting it was kinda rushed >.< ..yea my bad for rushing things. but nonetheless very interesting as i get a thing or 2 from this piece . again thank you guys. i'll see if i can will myself to go back to this piece again o.o hahhahah.
    man i just love our community
    @hoodwink, yep moonskittles really hit the mark there , and the other guys too .
    @stefrob, yea i agree, i need to really put all my thought in the process next time
    @moonskittles, thanks alot man. something i really need to keep in mind on my future works
    @jhonshadow, aaah yea..i was on the fence about the knight ..either put him there or not...the thing is my comp was already a wreck from the start..my bad will really explore my thumbs on my future works
    @griffonnage, thanks man, will do another piece soon, will keep this in mind
    @dumb naked king, aah yea lack of action isnt it.. ok got it thanks man
    @ I stray I, thanks will do better

    thanks again guys

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    Hexokinase is offline Registered User Level 8 Gladiator: Thracian
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    Your drawing ability is pretty good, but there are three major problems that are dragging this piece down in my opinion.

    The first is the perspective. The true horizon is clearly shown in the picture, but the monster is viewed from what feels like a different vantage point:

    Name:  2 horizons.jpg
Views: 158
Size:  115.1 KB

    Considering how low the horizon is, and our apparent distance from the base of the mountain, we should be seeing a stronger focus on the underside of the creature. Here's a crappy diagram that hopefully demonstrates the point:

    Name:  Perspective.jpg
Views: 158
Size:  114.0 KB

    If there's any difficulty, creating a quick maquette (either using sculpey or 3D software) can work wonders.

    The second issue is having cleanly separated value groups, which can be a great tool to show depth. The foreground, middleground, and background can all be distinct design elements. This would further emphasize the sense of scale for the creature. I've attached a quick mock-up below, though it isn't very good.

    Name:  values.jpg
Views: 162
Size:  59.6 KB

    The third major issue is your focal points. The creature's head is a clear one, and it's relatively well placed (though it may be a bit too close to the edge of the canvas). The secondary focal point would be the knight, which is literally on the edge of the canvas. In most cases, you'd want to avoid putting a key element of the picture on the edge of the canvas like that. He takes up so little room that it feels like an afterthought - as if you drew the entire creature, then decided to add in a background and a knight down the road.

    All three of these issues are easily avoidable in the future by doing thumbnails. Many many thumbnails - some using different poses or interactions, some using different vantage points and lighting conditions, etc. This will also be your chance to define your main value groups (3-4 typically works well).
    Last edited by Hexokinase; March 3rd, 2013 at 04:14 PM. Reason: typo

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  19. #11
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    @hexokinase, aahh , wow ur explanation really make me understand things thanks, my bad habit is jut putting stuffs in and compose it, really need to start thinking of putting place in 3d space... ok2 i got it ..thanks again , ill be sure to start posting wips rather than finished stuff in here

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