Book cover WIP

[jeremymoore]

This is an illustration for a book cover. I've already sent it as "finished" to the client, but there are some things about it I don't like, mostly the background. The river and bridge in the scene are very integral in the story of the book, so the client asked me to portray them on the back cover of the wraparound. At this point I've been staring at it too long, so it would be very helpful to receive some crit on what I could do to improve the piece.

Any constructive crit is appreciated, Thanks

[Archrono]

Hey dude! I totally just saw this browsing art jobs for art mobs and looking at your site!

First off, I think it looks great, I like the "outlined" style on your figures.

You're right, something isn't quite right, I think you're bg is a little sparse (I know its a book cover so you want it to have lots of text space, but a little more variation in the landscape might help.) Some cast shadows from your clouds on your landscape might "cool" off parts of it, pushing it back in space more, while adding variation to the bg.

You're depth is almost there, but a little more separation of tones might help. (As your figures look really far ahead of your bridge, they, and the ground they stand on should "pop" a bit more then the surrounding elements to help push the depth.)

I wouldn't add to their line weight, but maybe thin out some of the lines in the background. (Like in the bend in the river.) and thicken (slightly) where things overlap.

Still, very, very good work.
There's a reason your blog is in my favorites now.

Hope my crits help

[ryuloulou]

I think technically, the picture is really really good. I assume it a book cover AND the back of the same book right ?
I also think it lacks a bit of dynamism and / or composition. Usually, for a book cover I always think it's better to use the diagonals to build the picture. It brings a strong dynamism even to non-moving illustrations.
The other thing is that your cover doesn't tell a story. I really have no clue of what it is about.

hope it helps

[Swamp Thing]

I guess many will disagree with me because you shouldn't combine a figural focus with a landscape focus, but since this is a book cover, I don't know, but, isn't a book cover illustration all about what will happen? The reader should get an impression of what's awaiting him, and right now there is all the attention on those 2 girls without any points that make us circle a lot around the backgrounds. This tells me there are 2 tough girls in the middle of nowhere, without having anything to do. I don't know what locations and adventures exist in this, so take it just as a drawn suggestion of what I try to explain.

edit: uploaded the od with photobucked since attachment manager seems bugged.

[Giacomo]

Nice work--very finished. I wish I could draw and paint as well as you. I basically agree with what everyone else said: the "problem" here (if you want to call it a problem) is that there's no narrative--it's just two figures posing in a landscape.

I'm not suggesting overhauling it at this point, but if it were me, I'd have had the characters looking somewhere other than straight at me. In my experience, making eye contact with the viewer always feels fake and static--if they were looking out of frame to the left or the right, or looking at each other, it would start to suggest a story. As so often happens, Michael Whelan is a great guy to study for how to do this.

[Psychotime]

I agree with what Swamp Thing said. It's such a boring background. All we know is that there's two characters who are gonna fight stuff, that's it.

I think it really needs something interesting going on in the background, just make sure it doesn't take away from the main focus.

I could swear the character on the right is based on an actress. She looks familiar.

[Elwell]

I can't really judge the composition fairly without seeing the front cover cropped to it's final format, and I can't do that myself because I don't know the spine width or how much bleed you've included. Same goes for the back cover, since I assume you've left the upper two thirds free for text. Do you have a version with the design template overlayed so we can see how the elements are actually going to relate?

Content crits:
Emptiness of the landscape background is problematic.
The more I look at it, the more the fact that the two characters are so evocative of Xena and Gabrielle bugs me. Unless that's supposed to be part of the story, in which case, good job.

[Carreau]

Okay, to start, I think the figures are quite lovely. I really the smoothness combined with the harder edges. Very polished, too.

I think what I don't like about it may be the emptiness of the background. If this is supposed to be a wraparound cover, then the side with the girls will look good, but the other side isn't going to be very exciting to look at. As a prospective buyer, it wouldn't really do anything to keep my interest.

[TinyBird]

I could swear the character on the right is based on an actress. She looks familiar.

I can't stop seeing her as Kristen Stewart playing Bella Swan.
Also what bugs me personally (other than things already mentioned) is that I can't really tell what the background is, as in, is it fields of grass or mountains of rocks/sand etc. In the back cover I see a road and trees so I guess the hills are full of grass, but if I look at the front cover only, it looks like sand.

[Swamp Thing]

Just on a side note, this really bugs me.

[jeremymoore]

Thanks for all the help, guys, it's much appreciated. Here is a version that shows the cover breaks -like Tristan suggested- and my own version of where a designer might put the text/titles. The characters are really just costumed to look like the characters in the book. As far as the background goes, the client's description was pretty much, like, "rolling hills" and this: "The earth/ground is red dusty with some clumps of grass, trees are few and only near the river but can be very big. The river is fast but you can only tell when it hits rocks otherwise it looks calm like a bay or lake." I definitely like what Swamp Thing suggested but I do have constraints on what I can do in the assignment. Let me know if you think of anything else. Again, thanks everyone

[moltazia]

maybe do some clumps of grass in the foreground, as already said to help it "pop". maybe change the brown on the red haired girls skirt? it blends very much into the background.

the brunette really looks like an older arya from Game of Thrones, Me likie ;D

[Danilo]

http://gyazo.com/ac66864ff019b584a5d6097006a2f5f2

[Artimatum]

Danilo,what are you linking to?

[Danilo]

im using gyazo to share the screen portion. The banners around are inevitable advertising.

[Artimatum]

Ah,OK.Use the upload manager

[Danilo]

too slow

[Dan Henk]

I took a look at your website, and I like your art. It looks like the problem you are having with this painting is not common across your volume of work. You mention that this was done on the computer, away from you normal studio and oil based materials, and I think it shows. It looks a bit rushed in the composition. Two cute/tough looking girls, and very little else. If I was looking at this on a bookshelf, I would pass it by. Nothing about it draws me in. Two fully developed characters, who seem to be involved in nothing, and the background is an afterthought, fading away in light detail as it wraps around the book.
I would up the dramatic content of the background. You could make it stormy, maybe have the girls down lower, and a rocky bluff towering up behind them. You could try adding a stronger light source, like a fire. Play with the warm or cool tones, giving it more action. And do something that gives me a reason to stop and pick up the book. Some hint of the story inside, because all I'm getting right now is that there are two generic girls, slightly older historical garb, and a distant ornate bridge.

[LightandDark]

The problem for me about the background:
Some of The Trees, bushes are on the same scale as the bridge or bigger and have less detail so when I first look at it, it seemed unconvincing. So reexamine the scale in relative to perspective and size of familiar constructs like roads and bridges..

and then there is the anatomy issue Swamp mentioned.

As far as everything else goes the illustration is very good, maybe the rim-light on the redhead's fore-arm is excessive .