I don't mean that, actually. I'd rather have a dialogue.
What's with the self-deprecation here? I mean, I understand you're surrounded by artists of different talent levels, and that's a little discouraging. I also understand a lot of people on here can be assholes when they're having bad days (or even good days). But why set yourself up for misinterpreting any constructive criticism others may have of you as attacks on your skill as an artist? I'd love to set up a system where for every self-deprecatory comment you make, you do one figure study, or you draw one thing from life, or you freakin' DRAW. Chances are, you're not bad (as long as you want to improve), you're not weird, and you're not going to die if you don't get the position of the arm exactly right. You're also not going to feel better about yourself if you deface something you're proud of just so you don't have to take responsibility for it.
So--WHY? Why bother? Why bother with self-effacement? Why are you doing this? What is the aim? What do you want to accomplish this? Where do you want to go with this? Why are you portraying what you're portraying? What is the audience for this? Is this work socially relevant? How much do you care about your work? What will I say when I share this? Should I say anything at all? Why bother with art at all? If you're not asking yourself these questions while you're writing your post, sketching your sketch, putting down your brushwork, et cetera, you're missing out on fundamental questions and answers. And I don't feel like this should be bound specifically to art--everybody should ask themselves why they do what they do and if it's worth it to them. All the fuckin' time.
Deconstruct yourself. But don't flay yourself. Don't disembowel yourself. Don't prostrate yourself at the feet of "artist-gods." Examine what you do. And I think, most importantly, don't shame yourself. Don't do or say something you'll be ashamed of. Have dignity when you draw, or present your work. It makes the viewing experience that much better.
I really don't have any reason for posting this, other than the fact that as a completely untrained college student with mild interest in art, it just makes my blood boil to see people making themselves suffer unnecessarily. Is suffering a part of art? Hell yeah. But there's a difference between necessary suffering and outright putting yourself through hell. Life is short. Make yours worth living.