So Terrible: Planned Remakes

**Jasonwclark** · January 13th, 2009, 11:17 PM

38 Planned Movie Remakes You Didn't Know About

http://www.denofgeek.com/movies/1521...now_about.html

A little old, but still terrifying.

This gets so bad, I can't even bring myself to type the titles. 2010-11 is going to be a total nightmare.

Why do they always suck so hard at this?

**FightingSeraph** · January 14th, 2009, 12:44 AM

You may find this unpalatable, but the reason producers are doing these remakes is that the risks that come with fleshing out original ideas has risen to where few people are willing to take a chance.

**silvestri99** · January 14th, 2009, 11:22 AM

In my opinion it should be illegal to touch a Hitchcock film. I didn't even get it when they decided to redo it shot for shot. Leave the masterpices alone.
Even the dirty dozen, the taking of pelum 123...come on generate a new idea or 2. WTF?!?!?!?!?!?

**Hookswords** · January 14th, 2009, 12:43 PM

Think of all the money I'll save by never going to the movies!

**DavePalumbo** · January 14th, 2009, 01:09 PM

you know, not all the movies on that list are necessarily a bad idea. If they do it right and go back to the original books instead of remaking the Arnold movie, Conan the Barbarian could possibly be totally bad ass, and I'm a huge fan of the Arnold version. Same with Akira and Dune. Nothing will replace the originals, but to do something different might be interesting.

The rest of that list is alot of who cares (Short Circuit? Footloose???), irritating (Dirty Dozen, Tron, Logan's Run) and, for me, outright offensive (Evil Dead, Escape from New York, Near Dark)

The Thing upsets me most of all, but if it's just a companion and not a re-do, then maybe it won't hurt too much.

I'm still pissed over the 2007 remake of The Hitcher

**Aly Fell** · January 14th, 2009, 04:41 PM

I agree Dave.

It's wise to differentiate between a remake and a new version of an established story derived from a novel or such like. For example 'The Shadow' was a pulp book first. So unless they remake the original movie story it's not a remake. 'Fahrenheit 451' could be reinterpreted. And anyone who's read the original 'The Birds' knows the Hitchcock movie was a million miles from it. However 'remaking' excellent films just strikes me as ego and mammon on behalf of the producers. I mean 'Evil Dead'? C'mon. 'The Taking of Pelham 123' is almost faultless. If a movie is generally shite, remake it, but if it's good, leave it alone.

**Jasonwclark** · January 14th, 2009, 05:38 PM

Yeah I'm still 50/50 on the Conan and Red Sonja material. For the Conan stuff I could definitely see an Arnold cameo, King Osric style, but I'm sure he has to get booted out of the Cali Political game first. Barbarian and Destroyer were as much Milius and Poledoris as they were Arnold though, so to hit on another classic like that is a pretty tall order. Who knows though, it definitely has the potential to kick ass, if they do it right.

I also dig Rose McGowan for Red Sonja, since she proved herself such a badass in Grindhouse.

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The earlier teaser poster is too ridiculous to post, but they're getting better.

My main fear right now is that they'll do a Beowulf CGI hack job on it, but Rodriquez gives me hope.
I miss the latex and red corn syrup.

Here, this one is for you Dave

**Jasonwclark** · January 15th, 2009, 07:55 PM

Actually the more I think about it, the more I wish they had given the part to Prepon.

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If Forman can play Venom in Spiderman 3, surely they could have hooked Donna up with Red Sonja.

**CruShTinbOX** · January 16th, 2009, 11:59 PM

The Tron remake is not a remake, but a sequel and it's been known about and posted about on sites like aintitcool.com for a long time now.

One remake that's not on that list is Robocop, which, at first, I was pissed about, but then I found out Darren Aronofsky is directing and my anger turned to excitement.

I don't really think there's a problem with remakes in general, it just depends on how they're done, though I agree that Hollywood has gone quite overboard lately and some movies just shouldn't be remade.

**Muz** · January 17th, 2009, 12:11 AM

im actually looking forward to the dune remake for a couple of reasons.

I think that the original movie was too diluted, and hard to understand, it just didn't feel solid, and had some weird ass parts.. (cat milking anyone).
I didn't enjoy the sci-fi miniseries (probably because of the mechanical design and the feel that they portrayed).

But what i like about modern Hollywood is they have the ability to make a movie that feels very complete and "solid", when compared to movies of old. Dune is a hard movie to make feel solid so it should be interesting to see how they do it. (i also really like hancock so im hopeful for the director).

Any of you guys heard of the comic book movie thats going to be made called freedom formula? Mecha racing movie ftw.

**Dorkthrone** · January 17th, 2009, 11:37 AM

Originally Posted by DavePalumbo

The Thing upsets me most of all, but if it's just a companion and not a re-do, then maybe it won't hurt too much.

From what I've heard, it's actually supposed to be a prequel. If they put it in the right hands, it could be really good.

And yes, if they made a straight-up remake, I would get angry very quickly.

**Nam** · January 17th, 2009, 02:05 PM

http://www.ironicsans.com/2006/05/ott.html

**Kamikazebob** · January 18th, 2009, 12:42 AM

No.
For the love of all that is holy and pure.

http://www.variety.com/index.asp?lay...98687&nid=2854

Why do they need to desecrate such a spectacular title?

**Peter Coene** · January 19th, 2009, 04:34 PM

Hmm, just for shats'n'giggles I think they oughta remake Griffith's "The Birth of a Nation," Riefenstahl's "Triumph des Willens" and Eisenstein' "the Old and the New" and "October".