finished a old project

**eulalia** · June 30th, 2008, 12:39 AM

los angeles

not finished but in the working process need input of what is working and what is not

thank you

**eulalia** · June 30th, 2008, 03:07 PM

any ideas on how i could finish that building?

what should i do?

**Aneru** · June 30th, 2008, 03:24 PM

Add shadows to the furthest part?

**JL.Alfaro** · June 30th, 2008, 03:27 PM

what is this for? and how big is it?
is that an angel reaching into a building?

**eulalia** · June 30th, 2008, 05:29 PM

Originally Posted by JL.Alfaro

what is this for? and how big is it?
is that an angel reaching into a building?

its just things that i throw together

the size is 9 by 12 paper

why isnt it getting peoples attention? lol

if it sucks tell me i need to know and hear it

i want sort of a graffiti style?

more contrast in colors?

im just stumped

**JL.Alfaro** · June 30th, 2008, 06:26 PM

Originally Posted by eulalia

why isnt it getting peoples attention?

if it sucks tell me i need to know and hear it

im just stumped

bueno hermano...

listen, its not that it sucks, there is no way to say that this sucks at such an early stage on the piece. But I can tell you that there are a few things missing from this piece.
1. Composition. there is no solid composition behind it. the scull and the angel should be making the viewers eye go around the picture to finish at the focus point, which there is none. Find out what you want the focus to be and arrange the other elements to reflect that. Right now everything points to the right, out of the page...and thats where the attention goes. So most viewers dont stay to critique because the attention is given away.

2. Line variance. you say you want this to be graffiti style, but even that style has line variance and composition. Most of the time they use arrows to bring the attention back into the piece (which I think is kind a cheap).

3. There is a lack of detail. I think again because of the line variance...mainly your thick solid lines.

4. "more contrast in colors?" ...you only have two colors on it.

5. Im not too familiar with L.A., but I dont recognize the buildings, what buildings are they?

I would love to help you out with this type of design, but its not really my cup of tea...never done graffiti style. But there are a few guys in here that have gotten started doing graffiti work...so i would advice you to do a search on the lounge on graffiti related threads, find out a few of the guys who do or have done it and send them a pm to invite them to come and critique your wip.

**Aneru** · July 2nd, 2008, 11:48 AM

It also looks like the whole thing was cut and pasted together, so it looks majorly deconstructed, it's not very cohesive so one can't really see what's going on. For example, how is the angel, that appears to be in front of the building, being grabbed from a skeleton that's supposedly much further back in the picture?