Critique my new Piece

**imperess** · February 19th, 2008, 07:24 AM

Hi everyone..

I have been working on this new piece for a client. Would like some fresh eyes to look at it and let me know if i am missing anything critical.

Done with minimal reference in photoshop and alittle painter. I had loose references for the monkey, and some of the clothing style and forest.
Tried to push my values more in this piece and work with more light sources. I am sure as always theres stuff i am missing, and realize the poses could have been more dynamic, i am trying to work on that.

Centered composition was clients request. Will be printed at 16" x 20" size so alot of detail is getting lost when i shrink it down.

thanks for looking!

~Carol

**SoulBeaver** · February 19th, 2008, 07:36 AM

Hmm....I think there should be a few more breaks in the trees to allow for light, especially in the left portion of the picture. Not too much though or ruin the balance xD

Myes, I completely agree that the poses look static. Almost boring if you ask me. Also very senseless. It seems they are ready to fight, but that forest just screams mercilessly, "I AM PEACEFUL." There is no suspense that there is anything just beyond us and I really find myself just looking at it awkwardly.

For the expressions I think the child should not be smiling. The woman is screaming her millionth death wish into the forest while the dude is probably thinking, "Shut up." and that kid is just smiling stupidly for no particular reason other than that the monkey may be scratching his back and getting rid of his head lice xD You should either focus on the happy happy or the danger/suspense on the picture because it just looks silly imo xD

The detail is very nice in the picture. I think you have no problems doing that, but I think a little bit of mold on the trees would be a nice addition. The background looks misty. There is one ray of light and everything behind is obscured in a fog xD

Otherwise it's a good picture, and I hope your client will like it. xD It holds personal meaning to me because my best friend loves dual-wielding long-haired sword guys

**gamefan84** · February 19th, 2008, 08:04 AM

great job so far carol! unless its specified by the client to have there face like that i would try and change them. I could totally deal with their poses if the faces were different. Your ability to render detail is top notch. but if i were being nit picky i would say the characters feel slightly as if they are floating in the scene. to help this i would but some blades of grass overlapping the bases of some feet or put a very light layer of mist in or around some of the characters. but that just could be my opinion, good work nonetheless.

**s.ketch** · February 19th, 2008, 10:18 AM

The young guy with the bow and arrow looks uncomfortable, he's not holding the bow right. pretend that you're holding a bow and take a picture to reference from. Its almost as if he's handing up to someone.

As for the fellow in the middle, his left arm is awkward. It looks like the sword has no weight to it. Turn is hand so the palm almost faces the ground. That way if anyone jumps out of the bushes he already has a guard up and can strike back with the other hand. Also the blade/hilt doesn't line up with the handle.

And I second all the things pointed out previously.

**imperess** · February 19th, 2008, 10:22 AM

Hey all thanks for the crits..

I will see what I can do about expression I am trying to get better at it... client likes the main character to have a smirk, maybe i can add more tension to the childs face though.. i think it is supposed to be a some what joyfull event to fight in this group... Was trying to add dynamics having the sorceress screaming or what not, as i wouldn't think it nessicarrily easy or painless if your hands were a flame but thats just me..

Client likes it alot so far, I just always try to make it better... Any suggestions as to what I could do to make the forest more ominous at this point than PEACEFUL?? should I change colors or something make the trees more gnarly what could help? Environments aren't my stongest point but they are getting better.

Glad to know my rendering is getting better.. still feel new to digital, need to do more work in it!

Thanks again for your letting me use your eyes!

~Carol

**Ito Saith Webb** · February 19th, 2008, 08:44 PM

Well first off Impress if your client is impressed with the piece so far then you are probably alright from a business point of view and if they client is happy in the end then repeat business is bound to happen or at least a referral.

Now as far as my critique here is what I have to offer. The poses seem very stiff and static to my eye like if they were store bought mannequins. Also the poses are a little misleading like they are just about to attack, but there is nothing there or are they attacking the trees? The half-ling certainly looks like he has it in for the tree. The half-ling' s pose is also very off balance and would fall over forward and to her right The witch's pose and expression really don't seem to work well together as it looks like she is more in pain from the fire in her hands. I know you wanted to build a little tension but I would suggest that your drop her arms to the sides and maybe angled out and make it look like she is charging or readying a spell to unleash, also a stern or distasted expression on her face would probably be better, like she smell trouble. For the hero I have a big problem with his pose because if he is at the ready then he certainly seem inexperienced as holding such weapons like that more than a few seconds is awfully tiring especially at those angles. His right sword arms would probably be better closer to his body, not only is this a more comfortable position it also allows him to produce a more effective swing. His left sword arm is not at to bad of an angle but the way the sword is being held is once again very awkward, perhaps dropping the arm down a tad with the sword angled down and with the edge in so that it is imposition for an upswing, also his coat tails seem to be defying gravity. Lastly on the figures I am getting a big sense of separation almost like they were pasted on.

The forest rendering and general rendering is pretty good and like the detail that you have going on. The monkey is actually pretty good for a casual ref. I am enjoying the color pallet that you have chosen but I am afraid this makes the forest seem rather warm a pleasant and makes ya want to go and pick huckleberries or something. I would suggest cooler color for the overall piece as that would make it feel a little more ominous. Also if you want more threat from the forest you could also add vague shapes of enemies in the shadows of the forest like if they were surrounded. While your rendering is pretty good the light direction playing off your hero's bodies are kind of confusing and look like they are coming from everywhere while there seems only to be one direct light source which is that stream of light coming from the right.

I hope this helps.

**OrloffIllustration** · February 20th, 2008, 01:21 AM

Im not sure if anyone else said this, my apologies if its repetitive, but their expressions are very confusing, they seem a little bit too happy since they look like they are preparing for battle.

**emerging** · February 20th, 2008, 01:38 AM

its a cool classical fantasy style
i join with everything above said and also as help (because i did shoot from a compound bow in real life) i would advice you to put the hand down so that his fingers are touching the corner of his mouth.. thats the proper and most comfortable way of holding the bow.. i think that would fix the little problem

**imperess** · February 20th, 2008, 05:09 AM

Thanks everyone. Working on fixing some things, Hopefully post an update soon!

~Carol

**imperess** · February 21st, 2008, 10:39 AM

hi everyone,

Here's an update, please let me know if youthink this looks any better. I tried to fix what i could with out redrawing everything. Also made the colors in the forest more blue and shadows a bit darker..
client likes expressions so no change on that thus far..

Hopefully some improvement.. Thanks for you help so far!

~Carol

**beer** · February 21st, 2008, 05:13 PM

the bracket fungi are sweeet.

**Earendil** · February 21st, 2008, 05:50 PM

Things are ominous when they are not fully known.

Right now, everything except the very edges of the canvas are lit equally it seems. If you want an ominous forest, I would suggest even more shadows, and darkening of the background.

The lightsources appear to be the sword, the girls magic, and some backlighting from the forest. That's fine, but they'd pop more with less light surrounding them. Everything does not need to be seen. Right now the lights are very strong, and have a very low falloff. The kid/halfling isn't sighting down his bow correctly, and his foot is way too bright.

More intimate lighting, more shadows I think would help this even more. Just my 2c

**skurniawan** · February 22nd, 2008, 01:16 AM

First off, it's pretty good. I agree with Ito Saith Webb, the pose is too static - make it more dynamic. Draw the movement, act out the pose, feel it.

**imperess** · February 22nd, 2008, 02:39 AM

Hi guys, will recheck shadows and see if i can push it more.. as far as poses, I know there an issue

just not sure i can do much about them with out redrawing everything... is there a way you think i could give it more movement without redrawing each character?

I'll bring the arrow on the boy down a bit more.. thought i fixed the problem, but looking at it now i guess it could come down more to his eyes.

thanks again!

**RoboBobo** · February 22nd, 2008, 03:54 AM

You just might need to surround these guys with creatures. They are huddled together but there needs to be something forcing them to huddle. It's a classic group battle pose yes...but that halfling shouldn't be smiling. He needs to look determined or very pissed, same with the swordsman.

**EBrown** · February 22nd, 2008, 11:06 AM

The boy's foot is too well lit in my opinion...considering your light source (I'm assuming that it is coming from the sword and not the sun). But this piece is lookin good