Alright...sorry for the delay, but I just had one of those "dog ate my homework/house/entire nearby town" couple of days. You all did rather well with this. I'm posting my crits and some comments below for each of you...
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Alright...sorry for the delay, but I just had one of those "dog ate my homework/house/entire nearby town" couple of days. You all did rather well with this. I'm posting my crits and some comments below for each of you...
No position or belief, whether religious, political or social, is valid if one has to lie to support it.--Alj Mary
Ironically, the concept of SIMPLICITY is most often misunderstood by simple-minded people. --Alj Mary
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JeSsIe: You're definitely going to need either bigger paper or a smaller drawing. You kind of let things go where they wanted to a bit instead of allowing for them in advance, which is why the poor beetle is struggling to stay on the paper. Not a nice thing to do to him with that rock zooming in, is it?
Though you're missing three things...cough...prob'ly my fault...cough...the layout is actually pretty sound (except where it gets a bit tight/cropped at the bottom). This is what we call a SYMETRICAL COMPOSITION. Even though the items don't actually line up perfectly in the middle (which in this case would be bad), the entire image forms a shape that forces the viewer to look immediately at the center and up-and-down. This s actually what many artists have done with formal portraits for centuries, and works well here.
The bark--you've got a nice texture started here, but it still needs a bit of work/thought in two areas. The first is remembering that something rough is rough for a reason--different varying layers or depths to the surface. What's happening is you start to tell us that this is a texture on the log, but then, you do a "Nyahh nyahh, no it's not!" on us when we get to the edges. It's easier to show what I mean than to describe it, so look at [A] below. Textures are three dimensional when they get this obvious, so they should show when you do a cross section of something (like where you cut the bark at the ends, and where the bark sits along the visual "edge" where the bark starts to curve to the back).
The second is value. This is how light or dark something is, and it's also what makes shadows shadows. Let's pretend there's a light above the rock, but still in front of it and just a bit to your left. This light would affect how the texture on your bark looks, and the rock and beetle would have very definite shadows where they turn away from the light, and very definite highlights where they face the light. That means the inside of the bark would be fairly dark, and so would a good bit of the rock. I tried to roughly show this (...veerrrry roughly...don't laugh...) on [A], again below.
I love the eyes on the bug, but the poor thing has lopsided horns! How's he gonna get a girlfriend roaming around lookin' like he lost a fight with a hammer? [grin]
Your line work is very sure and positive, and your composition is solid except for the bottom where it got squooshy a bit. The areas we need to pay more attention to are in details like I mentioned above with the edge of the bark and stuff like that, and getting a better feel for how light works, where shadows fall and why, and building up the values overall (what's light, what's dark...).
No position or belief, whether religious, political or social, is valid if one has to lie to support it.--Alj Mary
Ironically, the concept of SIMPLICITY is most often misunderstood by simple-minded people. --Alj Mary
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RabbiSatan: Let's talk about the texturing first. The shags of bark are pretty believable, and there's definitely a variation of depth/shadowing. This SHOULD have formed a nice contrast with the stripped smoother remainder of the piece of wood...but it doesn't, mainly because the bark areas aren't dark enough to form that contrast. I think you concentrated on the bark so much that you didn't step back and see what was happening to the entire log piece, and that's something you should watch out for.
The rock has a nice texture going on it, but again, the texture is so weak in value DIFFERENCES that it almost looks like a flat pancake with freckles. Those nice little edges you have in there should be a good bit stronger and have much more shadowing so it stands up and sings. Right now, I think it slipped off into a little nap.
Now the little beetle has some punch. That's a real solid dark value on the top of his shell, and it's about where (in value) the dark spaces on the rock and bark should be. And, it looks like he's got a different texture than the other two items. I do think maybe his legs and under-areas need a bit of darkening up to make him pop, especially with the angle the light is coming in. That also means the strong white spot on his shell (which I'm reading as a highlight) should be higher up on his shell, based on where the shadow is falling behind him. That shadow, and the shadows for the rock and wood, should all be a great bit darker--at least as dark as the beetle maybe, or just a tiny fraction lighter than the darkest area of his shell.
Lots of little things that can easily be corrected, so we're in pretty good shape so far. Now for the BIGGIE...
Your composition is not just a tiny bit weak, it's...ummmm... inside out... In fact...it's amazing, but it's almost an ANTI-compostion... What should be attracting my eye is at the very edges of the drawing, and the center is empty. Interesting idea, but I don't think it's ...actually...working here. [grin]
To make this as clear as I could, I did a rough cut and paste of your drawing and moved things roughly to where they might make better sense, especially if all the values were touched up as I mentioned above. My revision concentrates the darkest, most visible and most interesting areas at the central part of the drawing closer to each other where we would expect to find them. [B] down below.
I think your drawing skills are there, and you have a grasp of values that just needs a bit more UMPH! to it, but we're gonna have to work a bit on your compositional and layout skills. The nice thing is, that area isn't all that hard a thing to learn and it's got a few basic rules that will keep you out of trouble. I hope you come back for my next assignment, because I'm going to concentrate in that area.
No position or belief, whether religious, political or social, is valid if one has to lie to support it.--Alj Mary
Ironically, the concept of SIMPLICITY is most often misunderstood by simple-minded people. --Alj Mary
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PaTXiNaKi: Actually quite nice from a compositional stand point--the only thing that bothers me a bit is the placement of the beetle so nicely lined up with the stone. You almost could have him flying at the upper left as a contrast to the solidity of the arrangement on the "floor"--above and to the left of the leaf.
Even as line only, the texture separation is there, at least in the log, and if you had carried this through to color/grays, I'm sure the textile would have been appropriate. You also have a nice firm line, and used it especially well in the area of the cloth and the beetle...minimal drawing with a solid sense of shape already falling into place. There's not much more I can say without at least some values in place, but this is a nice start.
No position or belief, whether religious, political or social, is valid if one has to lie to support it.--Alj Mary
Ironically, the concept of SIMPLICITY is most often misunderstood by simple-minded people. --Alj Mary
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Pretty Angel: Quite lovely use of color here. The shadow areas could use just a tad more punch under the cloth, at the base of the log and in the shadow area of the bolt and on the cloth where they overlap (it looks like it's floating now a bit), but overall, it's holding up well. The textures are definitely there, and the only areas that would need some additional work maybe--a bit more rough detail in the birch bark, especially near the bottom, a few darker strokes in the wood part of the log as it goes into shadow, and some deeper darks on the bolt.
The composition very nicely done, and the lady bug is perfectly placed. There are some tangency problems that could use some correction, though. This is where something "almost" touches or "almost" lines up, like in the tiny area where the bark comes closest to the cloth. It probably would have been better to have the cloth veer more to the left and overlap the bark, rather than having it go right first, then left. This same problem is showing up with the crop--the leaf is just a bit nervous because it's juuussssssst barely creeping up on the edge of the image, and the leaf stem and bark edge at the left actually look like a second crop. The image almost wants to be maybe an inch wider at that side and maybe a half-inch deeper at the bottom.
Overall, the lighting is consistent except for three areas--the rock's shadow should be a bit longer to the left, the thread highlights on the bolt are maybe just a bit too strong on the left of the bolt (makes it look flatter than it is), and the bark (and this is a problematic area because you and I know the bark is white) seems to want a deeper shadow effect along the left. Actually, maybe the bark more to the right should be LIGHTER, which would do the same thing, and help add a bit of punch to the bark. I'd also check the shadow area cast by the piece of curled bark at the front--it's almost non-existent now--I'm thinking it should be more obvious with a slight downhill to the left.
Really nit-picking--maybe a dark version of the stippled effect on the top of the rock should be happening just a bit in the deeper shadow areas.
Very nicely done...
No position or belief, whether religious, political or social, is valid if one has to lie to support it.--Alj Mary
Ironically, the concept of SIMPLICITY is most often misunderstood by simple-minded people. --Alj Mary
P.O.W.! Leader, Complete Idiot, Super Moderator
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Alzorath: For obvious reasons, I'm going to deal mainly with the composition here.The log is our most obvious shape, so let's assume it's where it belongs and it's exactly what we want. The cloth is fine where it is, but might benefit from being a bit more "solid"--as in--the folds should be standing up more above the log to prevent the cloth from blending into it. The biggest problem is with the bolt--I love the fact that you made it so big as an element, but it does make the problems with it bigger, too. The perspective is off. At the angle it is, the shaft should be getting a tad bigger as it nears the log, and you have just the opposite. The bolt head has some shape problems--the outermost left and right edges of the "hex" should be lined up based on the side facing us.
The one thing I really like is that you have the beginnings of a very dynamic composition here. All it needs is a bit of tweaking. The bolt's position is now a bit strange, because it doesn't relate well to the log, and this is mainly the fault of the angle it's at. Down below, I've done a quick and crude draw-over--don't laugh, I'm using a trackball--to better show you what I mean about the dynamic composition. Various elements are leading my eye to other elements just like a road map where you allow them. What I've done is eliminate some "roadblocks" to that process. To further that "flow," I've reduced your rock from what is now mainly a background to a more active "participant" by lengthening the log right off the page. [C] down below.
No position or belief, whether religious, political or social, is valid if one has to lie to support it.--Alj Mary
Ironically, the concept of SIMPLICITY is most often misunderstood by simple-minded people. --Alj Mary
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Arttorney: You've got the beginnings of quite a strong piece here, and a very unusual composition that works rather well except for two small details.
The textures work nicely, and the values all seem to be falling into their proper place in the grand scheme of things. This is based on my assumption that the bark pattern you've started would extend to cover more of the piece of wood, with roughly the values you've indicated so far. The different textures are obvious and fairly well done...except maybe for a bit of refinement on the beetles wings. These would be "shiny" by comparison to everything else, and the light/value areas would be a bit more solidly defined. More hard-edged.
The composition is suffering as it is because I'm bouncing from the main mass at the top (good) to the two separate and nearly equal areas at the bottom (not good).
I did a simple cut and paste to show you where these elements should be to become more of a part of the central mass. ([D] below.
Your drawing skills are obvious. All you need actually is a bit of a more positive edge where it's needed, as in the head area of the bolt, and a bit more edge definition in the main folds of the cloth (which is actually more of a punching up of the contrast kind of thing here.). Nicely done
No position or belief, whether religious, political or social, is valid if one has to lie to support it.--Alj Mary
Ironically, the concept of SIMPLICITY is most often misunderstood by simple-minded people. --Alj Mary
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enrigo: Nice NICE drawing. The textures are clear and easily differentiated, the after-effects of your girl friend are very obvious, and the values overall are quite nice (except for her, of course...I really don't know her...[grin])
There are problems, though, and they all involve the composition. The beetle is so beautiful and strong that it draws my eye immediately, and I'm not sure you want me lookin' down there right off, unless you're trying to keep my attention off the rock's open zipper.So...let's treat the beetle and the bark as a unified element that works really well together and see how it relates to the other components. Right off, we have a teensy problem at the top--the top edge of the bark runs right into the top edge of the rock making them look like they're one piece of "something." The way to resolve this is to extend some strands of the bark obviously a good bit further upwards than they are now. Voila! (Don't y'love Polish?)
That leaves the small matter of our friend the beetle hiding down in that corner...
No problem. We move him to a more central position just like they do in those stupid visual math puzzles--we move something else. Take a look at [E] below and see what you think of this...I flipped the cloth and bolt element completely to the left to both break up the somewhat static marching formation of the three biggest objects and to allow the obvious primary object to be a bit more in the spotlight--and the leaf actual acts as a nice counter-balance to the whole shebang.
Again, very nicely done with minimal problems other than the composition.
No position or belief, whether religious, political or social, is valid if one has to lie to support it.--Alj Mary
Ironically, the concept of SIMPLICITY is most often misunderstood by simple-minded people. --Alj Mary
P.O.W.! Leader, Complete Idiot, Super Moderator
Level 17 Gladiator: Spartacus' Dimachaeri
Again, my apologies you had to wait for these comments. After thanksgiving, I'll post another assignment, and based on what I saw this time around, it's going to be something that deals with overall compositional skills. It won't be as hard to draw, but it will be a real dog when it comes to figuring out WHERE to place things...have a good holiday, all...and thank you for participating...
I'm assuming it will take you all a while to see these comments because you're all really busy doing Seedling's current assignment...I SAID, I'M ASSU...
oh...never mind...
No position or belief, whether religious, political or social, is valid if one has to lie to support it.--Alj Mary
Ironically, the concept of SIMPLICITY is most often misunderstood by simple-minded people. --Alj Mary
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Level 16 Gladiator: Spartacus' Retiarii
*giggle*
Kudos to everyone who participated here!
I think you are awesome, and I wish you the best in your endeavors, but I am tired of repeating myself, I am very busy with my new baby, and I am no longer a regular participant here, so please do not contact me to ask for advice on your career or education. All of the advice that I have to offer can already be found in the following links. Thank you.
Perspective 101, Concept Art 101, Games Industry info,Oil Paint info, Acrylic Paint info, my sketchbook.
Registered User
Level 7 Gladiator: Samnite
Wow, thanks for the very thorough and helpful reviews !
I'll look forward to you're next composition assignment. (By the way when I look at my rock drawing again it really looks like it got an open zipper on the side. I'll remember never to leave it open again.)
Speaker of Curses.
Level 7 Gladiator: Samnite
Thanks for the review Ilaekae
I will definitely come back for your next assignment. As my personal motto says, there's no learning without suffering. Also, the reason why everything looked like it was in the center was because I cropped the image to have everything in the center to save space. Perhaps that wasn't such a good idea after all?
Oh well, I'll keep trying, thanks for helping me
Edit:
Also, should add that I know next to nothing about composition, so I'm sorry if my submission sucked T_T
Last edited by Maledict; November 19th, 2007 at 09:24 PM.
P.O.W.! Leader, Complete Idiot, Super Moderator
Level 17 Gladiator: Spartacus' Dimachaeri
Actually, nobody's assignment sucked. And I be the first to say it if it were true. I like to say "That SUCKS! SucksucksucksucksucksSUUUUUUUUUUUUCKS sucksuckssooOOOOoooomuch... wheeze" ...see waht you made me do? That sucks...
No position or belief, whether religious, political or social, is valid if one has to lie to support it.--Alj Mary
Ironically, the concept of SIMPLICITY is most often misunderstood by simple-minded people. --Alj Mary
Speaker of Curses.
Level 7 Gladiator: Samnite
Ah, ok
I'm just a beginner, my line work is improving, but still not that great. My rendering and texturing are very poor, and I have no idea how to improve on them. If someone could start a class for them with guides and tutorials that would be awesome *hint hint*
P.O.W.! Leader, Complete Idiot, Super Moderator
Level 17 Gladiator: Spartacus' Dimachaeri
Well, you're in the right place then. Seedling and I (and anybody else we can blackmail in) are going to be getting into all that good stuff as we go along...
So...just hang around...
No position or belief, whether religious, political or social, is valid if one has to lie to support it.--Alj Mary
Ironically, the concept of SIMPLICITY is most often misunderstood by simple-minded people. --Alj Mary
Weilder of the +5 staff of wang!
Level 1 Gladiator: Andabatae
hey sorry I haven't done this yet but family problems mixed with a bad cold has hindered my drawing time. None the less I shall get onto this and the new one a.s.a.p. Again sorry it's late
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Level 16 Gladiator: Spartacus' Retiarii
Well that's easy, actually - you'll improve on them by doing exactly these sorts of exercises.Originally Posted by RabbiSatan
I think you are awesome, and I wish you the best in your endeavors, but I am tired of repeating myself, I am very busy with my new baby, and I am no longer a regular participant here, so please do not contact me to ask for advice on your career or education. All of the advice that I have to offer can already be found in the following links. Thank you.
Perspective 101, Concept Art 101, Games Industry info,Oil Paint info, Acrylic Paint info, my sketchbook.
Registered User
Level 2 Gladiator: Ordinarii
I know its to late, but i want to post my composition with color. ( it was in progress and due to some free days at work i didn´t finished it in time).
Thanks for the class ^^ i have enjoy a lot ( i have never draw such things)
Jelly Chaser
Level 4 Gladiator: Meridiani
I'm so laaaaaaate !
Ilaekae, I know I'm so very late, but if you could find a little time to comment mine, It'd be awesome ! If not, I guess that'll teach me to do my works on time...
Registered User
Level 12 Gladiator: Laqueatores
Why does the groan button always disappear when I want to use it?
Read through the critiques he gave to people who bothered to finish on time, including the people who didn't bother to read through the instructions thoroughly.
Sketchbook
"Beliefs are rules for action"
"Knowledge is proven in action."
"It's use is it's meaning."
P.O.W.! Leader, Complete Idiot, Super Moderator
Level 17 Gladiator: Spartacus' Dimachaeri
Who you wanna groan, Armano? Me or them.
We're just starting, so we're playin' a bit loose for a time. It's gonna get harder and hotter as we go, and they'll know it when it comes...
Everybody who had late material in, I'll work up a crit for you as soon as I get the new assignments and tutes up here and in the classroom.
No position or belief, whether religious, political or social, is valid if one has to lie to support it.--Alj Mary
Ironically, the concept of SIMPLICITY is most often misunderstood by simple-minded people. --Alj Mary
Ngian Shadowist
Level 11 Gladiator: Essedarii
lolz I swear I could just keep myself entertained forever following Ilaekae's posts...It's gonna get harder and hotter as we go, and they'll know it when it comes...
sehertu mannu narāṭu ina pānāt šagapīru ningishzidda
Izi bows before the superior intellect of Velocity and he has a pretty neat sketchbook
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