Funeral for Mars - Revisited

**Jushra** · October 4th, 2007, 07:04 PM

Some of you may remember an image I did a while back called 'Funeral for Mars'. Well, I reworked it.

Funeral for Mars is based off of the idea that there was once a civilization on mars. This image is an attempt to capture the chaos that ensued while the atmosphere and landscape of Mars was being forever changed by the passing of the remnants of the failed planet Rahab. There are hints of the angelic war mythos included, shown as monuments, but there none the less. There is also an idea that humanity on earth began from life on Mars, hence the ships. I'm not sure how well they fit into the scheme of things, as far as their apparent high technology is a contrast to the 'low end' buildings. And there's no spaceport or anything, maybe it is off panel or something. Not sure. I tried to push color a bit more also, but I'm still lacking understanding of it. Perspective may be off here and there too.

I'm sure there is plenty more I could have done. Below is both the old and the new. C/C welcome.

edit: larger version posted also.

**Elwell** · October 4th, 2007, 07:42 PM

Less was more.

**ErikTheRed** · October 4th, 2007, 10:54 PM

Yes, Sadly I have to agree with Elwell on that.

**Whyatt Thrash** · October 5th, 2007, 07:30 AM

It's a nice ambitious project, but Elwell is right. If you wanna tell the story of meteorite death, escape from the planet, war of angels, destruction of monuments etc, I think it would be better if you rendered...

a. a _series_ of pictures, or something like a comic. Right now you're trying to fit it all in a crowded and disparate skyview, without nothing to connect the events really. It's not working.

b. the _inside_ of a city in utter chaos. People running towards the dock, entering spaceships, angels fighting in the background, meteorites destroying buildings etc etc. Think of old masters paintings of war, chatastrophe or chaos. Those were never from a perspective 2 km up in the air, and they work great...

**Dose206** · October 5th, 2007, 10:01 AM

yeah, good crits so far. I hate to say it but to express your ideas well, you're probably gonna need to start over

**Konako** · October 5th, 2007, 11:25 AM

You definatley need something to focus on, right now there are too many objects of equal size and saturation. Something needs to become the center of attention.

**Jason Rainville** · October 5th, 2007, 11:26 AM

#1 busybusybusy composition (already covered)
#2 perspective.

**Nquyet** · October 5th, 2007, 12:03 PM

I know its sounds frustrating, but I'd suggest a remake.
You need to rework that composition and to do that right, you should draw the scene again and try prioritizing the elements of the picture, focus on one aspect of the story told instead of trying to depict everything that's going on at once.
Make a few thumbnails to see what composition works best, then give making a full-scale picture another attempt.
This is too good an idea to be wasted and I'd love to see it properly illustrated. Do your best and don't give up. I can tell you have potential.

**Jushra** · October 5th, 2007, 03:10 PM

i'm somewhat overwhelmed by responses! the idea of breaking it up sequentially is appealing, i think that will be what i do. i'm going to be busy with a freelance project, but i will work on a 'revisited redux' when i can. thanks all for the crits, i'll continue to use this thread to work the redux(2). i don't really see it as starting over, its all a learning process.