Why I was so unmotivated...

**gogidolim** · May 28th, 2012, 01:16 AM

Two weeks ago I had a blood test out of some very personal reason. Then, the result came in. I have a severe testosterone deficiency.

Well, finally that explained a lot. Last year I met a guy who recommended me to get my testosterone level tested when I told him that I was so unmotivated and depressed. He was right. I have a problem that can be solved by modern science.

You know, my 'problem' started back in 2005 or 2006. Before that I was full of motivations and creativity. I drew like crazy. But after something happened I simply lost my motivation. Well, I feel kinda sad that it could have been earlier to discover the source of my problem.

But...there's a couple of small side effects for the remedy (hormonal therapy). I can get emotionally and sexually aggressive. Yeah, you heard it right. I could turn into a horny miniature Hulk.

**Maledict** · May 28th, 2012, 06:09 AM

Originally Posted by gogidolim

But...there's a couple of small side effects for the remedy (hormonal therapy). I can get emotionally and sexually aggressive. Yeah, you heard it right. I could turn into a horny miniature Hulk.

Welcome to the pathos of the Male Human Condition. Steak is to the left, barbecue sauce is on the top shelf to the right of the taco sauce, and porn is 3rd door down the hall on the left. I recommend ~~x-art.com oh right this is a PG 13 rated art site~~ Susy for life drawing classes, 3rd door down the hall on the left.

**Januz** · May 28th, 2012, 07:15 AM

Originally Posted by gogidolim

Two weeks ago I had a blood test out of some very personal reason. Then, the result came in. I have a severe testosterone deficiency.

Well, finally that explained a lot. Last year I met a guy who recommended me to get my testosterone level tested when I told him that I was so unmotivated and depressed. He was right. I have a problem that can be solved by modern science.

You know, my 'problem' started back in 2005 or 2006. Before that I was full of motivations and creativity. I drew like crazy. But after something happened I simply lost my motivation. Well, I feel kinda sad that it could have been earlier to discover the source of my problem.

But...there's a couple of small side effects for the remedy (hormonal therapy). I can get emotionally and sexually aggressive. Yeah, you heard it right. I could turn into a horny miniature Hulk.

Welcome to the club

**kayness** · May 28th, 2012, 07:46 AM

sounds fun!

**Black Spot** · May 28th, 2012, 01:20 PM

It's green and horny

**bcarman** · May 28th, 2012, 02:06 PM

That is an incredibly cool bird. Doesn't look like it belongs here.

**JeffX99** · May 28th, 2012, 04:01 PM

OMG...that was absolutely brilliant! "A bit frisky"?

**Elwell** · May 28th, 2012, 04:35 PM

That's Sirocco the kakapo. He's actually a bit of a celebrity.
Here's his official Facebook fan page, and here's his Wikipedia entry.

**JeffX99** · May 28th, 2012, 05:42 PM

Well, he certainly isn't pining for the fjords!

**OldJake666** · May 28th, 2012, 05:58 PM

Interesting. I had a similar problem when I was younger due to my weight. I never took any action in treating it, though. I've assumed it's no longer an issue, but now I'm curious. I hope your treatment helps, and that you don't flip your shit.

**gogidolim** · June 1st, 2012, 10:21 PM

Hey, thanks for input guys. I will see my endocrinology clinic next Friday. I just hope that testosterone patches will kick-start my motivation and willpower back.

I've visited ctrl+paint site a few times but for some reason I had no motivation to watch any of those awesome videos. I dunno. Same thing with watching other art instruction video clips and even movies. I can't watch them. I have no will or motivation to click them at all.

**OldJake666** · June 1st, 2012, 10:38 PM

Well how'd you get here? That had to have taken at least some motivation, didn't it?

**Januz** · June 2nd, 2012, 09:20 PM

Maybe you've been focusing too much on studies and hardcore learning, and not enough on drawing the things you enjoy?

**CLANLESS** · June 3rd, 2012, 03:33 AM

Originally Posted by gogidolim

I could turn into a horny miniature Hulk.

Look forward to it and enjoy it while it lasts. (:

**gogidolim** · June 5th, 2012, 02:23 AM

I guess I have a problem with experiencing new things. And low testosterone level definitely takes away your motivations, as I heard. Actually, I check this forum only once in a while and rarely read anything from here. Shame.

**samthemule** · June 8th, 2012, 01:29 PM

interesting to hear about your expierences, thanks for sharing them, might not be as easy as i at first assumed.

i'm highly reluctant to go to extremes like hormone treatment or drugs, but i have to say, going to the gym and getting some supervision on how exactly to work out did & does wonders for my over all mood and motivation... for 2-3 days a time

making font size small in case this is "TMI" for people; i noticed a sizeable increase in my "drive" when i remained... abstinent for a couple of weeks, which is of course hard (pardon the pun), and takes some self control to start doing, or shall we say, not doing

i did notice when i chose to 'sublimate'? these urges, that i became FAR more interested in females, it (my body) was now seeking new options, just like now i guess, with art: when you refuse to let your creativity unleash itself or your mind wonder in one way, it will seek another.

i remember an old master saying: success is the borne of the ability to endure confusion

of course this may appear to some of you as total common sense, when you factor in that we all only have so and so much energy to work with on any given day, but for me, it was a minor revelation, and even at the risk of saying something embarrassing, i thought i'd share it, following your example

it's just like people taking ritalin or whatever for adhd/ xanax for sleeping disorders, i would rather not do so, even if the diagnosis is correct, but try and find natural workarounds/methods, after all, this can't be an entirely new disease, there must have been ways in the past of dealing with it.

cheers! cool post

**Barefoot** · June 8th, 2012, 01:34 PM

'sexual aggression' is not something you want to read on the side effects list of anything.

**Umbravita** · June 11th, 2012, 09:48 PM

As soon as I saw the bird I decided this was my favourite thread.

Good luck with the treatment, Gogidolim. Hope it all goes well and that your motivation comes back.

**Pavel Sokov** · June 12th, 2012, 11:50 AM

Well pretty much any feeling one might have is coupled with a release of chemical, so why wouldn't any change in your personally be marked with a corresponding change in a certain chemical? Glad you found your problem though.

**Steamhat** · June 13th, 2012, 08:15 AM

i have the exact same problem interestingly, rather low average testosterone levels.

i'm perfectly healthy otherwise... and handling the downsides rather well... though i must admit there's a very strange experience to have when my testosterone goes up naturally, my hormones literally affecting bodily things noticeably, things like my facial hair growing suddenly...

human's are weird. take care with that new sex drive of yers

**Prometheus|ANJ** · June 13th, 2012, 10:06 AM

After I got RSI last summer I haven't been able to work out, and I think I'm experiencing low testosterone at the moment. Came rather sudden. All the regular symptoms, even lost my will to draw the pantsu. Also, my memory recollection has been rather bad. Does the latter sound familiar? Not sure if I should be worried about something else, too. Seeing a doc soon, anyways.

**Steamhat** · June 15th, 2012, 08:22 AM

bad memory sounds in short concerning, it likely is to do with diet more than only testosterone deficiency. not sure if doctor is totally drastic, but maybe a nutritionist just to see if you're well balanced.

can always draw the pantsu!

**Prometheus|ANJ** · June 15th, 2012, 12:42 PM

Working out seems to have helped a little, but I'll see what the doc says. I'm hoping the memory thing is linked, so it's fixable. It could also be that I'm just more bothered by it now for some reason, kinda of like when you have an itch which isn't really an itch but the brain lumps up all the attention around it. And as I grow older my attention is scattered between more and more pieces of knowledge, and to really remember things one needs to refresh memories, which is much harder now. Dragon Slayer, Xanadu, Romancia, Legacy of the Wizard - the Drasle Family, Faxanadu, Lord Monarch. Bet I forgot some (Was Sorcerian apart of that setting?). Who made Faxanadu using Falcom's license, was it Hudson? And what was the name of those jumping heads with arms? I should know it, I saw the name and noted it some weeks ago, because the design was changed notably from Xanadu.

**Quetzalcoatl_Mk.III** · June 21st, 2012, 04:04 PM

Hmm, didn't know a low level of testosterone can take away motivation like that. hopefully everything works out for you in the end, especially if you keep that "sexual aggression" side effect under control. Can't help but be reminded of that one King of the Hill episode, though.

**Vagabond Gris** · June 23rd, 2012, 03:36 PM

Low levels of testosterone indeed can cause an art block , since this hormone forces us to be more aggressive . Lack of it in males causes severe depressive disorder and depression by itself lowers the desire to do anything , be it the art or the search for a (more) suitable partner . The well developed muscle mass can produce additional testosterone , but some time and , more importantly , strong will are needed for this.
I've recently checked my testosterone level too to search for causes of my long lasting depression . Well , all analyses are ok , so causes are elsewhere .Bloody neural biochemistry...