I need some advice for my drawing. I've never asked for help here before so this is a sign that I'm pretty desperate. This problem has seriously damaged my love for drawing and it's been destroying what little confidence I had in my skills. I think it would be ludicrous to give up now after all of the time, effort, and study that I've put into improving but the thought has been crossing my mind far too often lately because of this issue.
To put this very plainly and simply, I can't draw with pencils. It sounds absurd right? I think this is because I inevitably dig into the grain of the paper which reduces my fluidity and wrecks every drawing that I start. When I'm using a medium that can't dig in such as a ink marker or a paintbrush, I find drawing effortless and loose. When using those, I can just focus on making my art good whereas if I use a sharp medium such as graphite or wax-based colored pencils, I feel like I'm being crippled every step of the way. I also think the thinness of the line plays a big part because even the slightest shake in my hand will trigger a glaringly broken or wobbly line whereas something like a marker with it's bolder lines make such errors almost inconsequential.
This is where the terrible frustration comes from. I can do a decent drawing with marker effortlessly in under a minute and then try to do the same drawing again with graphite right next to it and be unable. Quality isn't necessarily the issue, it is the ease with which I draw. For me, marker is no trouble at all but graphite is impossible. Why? Seriously, why? Why is everyone else able to do it but I can't? Again, it's not that my art is great when using a marker, it's that I can do it easily. With a pencil, I tend to start a drawing, ruin it immediately, and have to start over. With marker however, I can fix just about any mistake I make while I draw thus enabling me to continue through the process and attain a relatively complete end product.
The obvious disadvantage to using something like marker is that it will leave bold permanent lines so there's no way to do any sort of fine detail using it. It's fine if you plan to use a light table to trace over or whatever but I wont be satisfied doing that. I view that as a crutch. It shouldn't be necessary anyways because I see artists take their drawings all the way to a finished state without need of any gimmicks like that all the time. That is what I want to do.
Even if this all sounds ridiculous, the bottom line is that I have no trouble whatsoever drawing with marker but I find it nearly impossible with a pencil. Help. Here are some examples of both and maybe you will see how the marker drawings are much more fluid than the pencil drawings. Something that you can't see is how much easier it was with the marker than with the pencil but take my word for it, the difference for me is night and day.