Marmarcandraws wip pile

[inspiredgg]

I have looked at this forum since 2005. I have been scared as %#$! to even post here. But I now am tired of feeling sorry for myself and want to progress. I want to get into comics/graphic novels and other things. I'm trying to get feedback on my storytelling ability before I pencil in my pages and hope I can get it here. I will most likely post here and other sites to get feedback from others on my pages.

I took the story from Bruce Wayne the Return Home Catwoman issue:



I hope that I learn things here and get better. I will have more later.

Thanks all.

[Nezumi Works]

First thing that really jumps out at me is how on the second page, Catwoman and "Insider"'s heads are both on the same angle. It looks weird, and draws the eye.

[inspiredgg]

First thing that really jumps out at me is how on the second page, Catwoman and "Insider"'s heads are both on the same angle. It looks weird, and draws the eye.

Thanks so much for replying! I'm not quite sure what you meant. I'm thinking you may have meant panel 1 and 2 have them both on the same angle? I didn't think of them as being on the same angle. I shall look into this.

Thanks!

[wooblood]

Man, you have some confidence issues! From the look of things, I'd say that your art looks as good so far as some comic artists I've seen working on comic books (back when I used to read some comic books, I couldn't believe how crappy some of the art was in major titles). Of course, that doesn't take into account aspects other than pure drawing ability/style that come into play such as composition, story-telling/pacing, shading/light, etc. which are yet in question after looking at your sample.

Couple things I see...
- Your general anatomy looks pretty good, but I think you tend to go a bit long on faces (eg, upper right and bottom panel of page#2 and on page#3, the girl's eyes sit too high on the face. Oh and also on the last page, looks like you struggled a bit with the girl's anatomy and it looks awkward now. I'd try to improve that, with reference if you can find it.
- On page#1, I'm not following what's happening here... are there multiple cat ladies, or is it just a sequence effect in panel#2? In panel#4, we see a cat face(?) holding the iPod device (whatever it is) and looking to another cat woman, so I'm guessing there are multiples. But then in the following pages, it only seems like one. Color me confused.
- Since these pages are a pretty long dialogue with not much action between two(?) characters, I think you could mix it up just a little more with composition/camera angles to make it a bit more interesting.

Good work overall though and I hope to see more of your stuff!

[inspiredgg]

Couple things I see...

Thank you so much for your honesty and your viewpoints. I see now the whole confusion of the angles I chose to represent Catwoman. When I looked at it through your explanations, I definitely read the confusion. I also see the whole might needed more camera angles to pace the dialogue though I am a bit worried too much can make the story seem disjointed. I was going for intimacy and drama (heh). I'll try to improve on the items you mentioned including the anatomy!

Thanks alot!

[inspiredgg]

Thanks to those that gave me some insight from earlier posts, I appreciate it.

Wanted to post what I finished. I learned alot from trying this including that I need to have more patience and not be afraid of making mistakes...also might need to switch to a different pencil type.

Any crits/comments are welcome. Trying to improve on storytelling.



I also wanted to post some other things like older comic art and some sketches.



I think I could have done a better job on the pencilling and flow. I didn't know as much then as I do now. Live and learn eh?

Thanks ahead of time to any that respond and I hope to post more!