Charlotte (Updated)

[Tangleworm]

Here's the token female character of my planned graphic novel. I intend her to be an absolutely ruthless tactician, sort of like Colonel Radec from Killzone 2, but with some sense of morality. She's with the same company as wheelchair-guy from a while back, hence the same badge and hat and uniform (I plan to re-do wheelchair man from the ground up sooner or later, though).

Below that image are some logos I'm experimenting with. The top-left one is the current one I've picked, but are there any ones better in there? The company is an almost-worldwide security house (ACE, an acronym), and as such I want the logo to be very bold and sharp.

[Evil_Clown]

I like the top left logo the best. Its simple and smart. Professional.

Onto the girl. I feel like the hands a tad small. I like the pose very much but it tells me of a girl who defies authority, as opposed to one who obeys it. Other than that I see no major issues. The anatomy is nice, the costume and details are also nice.

Good luck.

[Roddy]

Something about her large eye is bothering me. Seen as you've got a back story already sorted for the character then maybe add a few more personality traits, if she's as efficient and ruthless as you say she seems to be holding the gun rather lazily and her slouched rather relaxed persona doesn't make her come across that way. I'm not sure if your going for the minimal look but perhaps a little more detail in the face. I'd look to see this one coloured up. As for the logo choice definitely the top left, though the top right one is growing on me a bit.

Overall a really cool design.

-Roddy

[Kiera]

Hey tangleworm, I like how you improved over the time, this is so much better than the first drawing with the jumping guy, keep on rocking!

left logo is best, some suggestions: bigger letters or no letters, add a bow/arch/whatdoyoucallthosethings somewhere to those 3 stripes so that it looks like a lock. But it's fine like it is now, really.

Some mini things in the figure; your rhythm seems to be off at some places

1: gesture vs. structure: explained here: http://sevencamels.blogspot.com/2006...-school-4.html
(important on the leg but also on the chest)
The straight leg line gives the figure more support

2: set your figure in space, it can't be that you see her flat feet unless you are in frog perspective (but for this you would have to set the whole body in perspective), think about your horizon line an keep in mind how things change in perspective
(edit: hahaha, just saw that, with the horizon line it looks like the shoulders and hips should be tilted because of the perspective. But that's just coincidence XD)

3: Shoulders working against hips - typical if you have more weight on one leg. (it also gives more attitude and looks more female). But I think you know this one already.

4. intuition tells me that you have a sharp point at that hip, but I can't really explain why XD why did I even make a point here? But something else:
Roddy mentioned the eye was strange. It's a bit egyptian, it looks like it's shown from the front and not from the side.

Uhm, yeah, back to work.

[Hookswords]

I really dig a number of things here, but as pointed out there are some things to work on. I really like the dynamic created by her slenderness and then having kinda of a big chunky hat. The torso has a nice feel to it too. As for the logo, I like the upper left and the key/blade in the lower right. Kind of bouncing off of what Kiera said about making it like a lock, the lower right makes an interesting statement as a worldwide securities firm. Resembling both a key and a sword, like maybe the green beret icon, makes a cool statement. "The key to peace of mind is the might of our blade", something like that.

The left arm bothers me both in pose and that it's holding a gun. Just try standing like that yourself and tell me it feels natural. I mean it. And do that in the future. I do that all the time. Pose things out myself, and these days with digital cameras you can take snap shots for make shift references. She may be left handed, I dont know. I dont know the story or her history, and she's not firing right now but, if one was gesturing or posing with a fire arm, odds are pretty good that it would be in the hand you shoot with.

Roddy mentioned the eye. I think what might be catching him that he couldnt put his finger on is that it's a straight forward eye in a profile shot. Which you CAN do for cartoons, a lot of folk do, but maybe add the eyelid. something to traditionalize it a bit. That might aid down the road for adding emotion and what not.

Good luck, hope my rambling helps. I hope to see this colored as well. I think that it will really pop then.

[Giacomo]

This looks good.

My only thought is that right now she's pretty much the standard manga/anime "sexy technical officer." If you want to give her some unique characteristics--for example, maybe a hairstyle that resembles something in the real world, rather than the standard manga "spikes 'do", or some kind of recognizable ethnic features instead of the standard "anime face"--it would go a long way toward making the character more interesting and memorable.

As far as the logo goes, they all look OK. Whichever one you pick, I'd make the "ACE" letters bigger, because they're hard to notice.

Just my two cents.

[Tangleworm]

Thanks for the help, everyone.

I guess I didn't pick the right word; She's not exactly ruthless in the by-the-book way, but more in an "I know I'm right" way, and has the skills to back that up. As such, she often gets into mild debates with the wheelchair guy and occasionally bends orders, though it's all good-natured.
Yes, she is left-handed, a product of me trying to find ways to make her more unique. Ironic.

She's meant to be asian (Kinda sorta, I haven't finalized much yet), but yeah, I agree the face comes off as a tad generic. I often see that kind of spiky short hair in real life, though. Maybe I'm just drawing it out wrong.

[Joorin]

The face is in some kind of weird state. Either you can see her right eye socket or not but when you make up your mind about that, change the rest too. Her lips aren't suggesting a profile picture but the bridge of her nose and lack or right eye socket is.

Try to fit a liver, a spleen, a stomach and some small intestines in there and you're out of room. I can buy some changes but with that wide upper arm, she's no midget. This is, kind of, the same thing as making the pelvic area too small: you need the things that go in there.

When it comes to the logo, top left is easily the best one. It's clean, and a bit stereotypical, but it conveys things that the rest just won't. Avoid the, and here my English vocabulary fails me, wispy and weak forms used in the others. A logo captures the observer in less than a tenth of a second, like a face, and if I have to think about what it's supposed to tell me, you've failed.

[Tangleworm]

Thanks, Joorin. I was already editing the posture when you posted, but you caught the torso space thing.

As it is evidently the biggest problem, here's the state of the face right now. I also tried to make the hair more susceptible to the laws of physics.

[Tangleworm]

Edited the eye, lips, and jaw again.

[Tangleworm]

Here are the lines now. How do they look?

[Tangleworm]

Pretty much done now. Anything I missed?