Looking for feedback

**Lynwood** · January 14th, 2007, 03:31 PM

This painting is from a pencil sketch I did several years ago and am finally getting around to finishing. It was supposed to be a pirate ship but I thought that was too cliche these days. Since I'm working in a creative vaccuum I would like the opinions of other creative-minded individuals. It's always good to bounce ideas of each other, wouldn't you agree? Thanks in advance.

**EmiR** · January 14th, 2007, 07:21 PM

thats a good picture with a lot of details, the rain is great and sail are well made.
but i see a big problem with the colors. first i cant really see if its night or day, because some things are more brightly and other more darkly. the sky is violet in the front but on the horizon the sky is dark blue or dark green.try to find one maincolor for the sky. another problem is the reflection on the seamonster...where did he come from. you have to have one main source of light, for exemple the moon or a torch on the ship. and the last thing is the eye of the monster, I guess its a badly monster, make his eye more angry.
also like that the picture is good.

i hope the critique is not too hard and i hope its help you

**BigJKO** · January 15th, 2007, 06:39 AM

Yes, I agree with the colors. They're a little confusing. I think the sky looks fine, but the lighting on some of the ship's details are a little off. The flag is way too visible, compared to everything else, and you'd think the lower part of the ship would be darker too. And yes, the highlight on the big sea monster does make one wonder where all that light is coming from.

**grantrl78** · January 15th, 2007, 05:04 PM

Nice work. I really love the water and sails. Lots of movement in there. I also feel like the creature is too bright and his color is too arbitrary. I want him to reflect the environment that he is springing out of. He needs to be more drab and earth tone-ish. He also seems a little too happy.

**textphish** · January 15th, 2007, 05:10 PM

First of all, really good, I like this. But...the rain patterns. I don't know if you're done with them yet or just pausing or what, but in some places there is heavy rainfall, and in others, no rainfall at all. Is the rain being particular today?

**Maestro Andres** · January 16th, 2007, 12:43 AM

Another thing, worth to point out, correct me if I am wrong, but shouldn't there be any rain interaction on the subjects? I realize the scale of the elements compared with the rain drops, just something you might consider.

**masque** · January 16th, 2007, 12:54 AM

you'd benefit by establishing a single major light source for this scene and model everything accordingly. since there's very dark clouds and stormy weather, i'd assume the ambient light levels would be very low. so, maybe a lightning flash as a light source? use it to delineate your major forms, and work the rest of the scene in low-contrast shadows, hinting rather than fully describing. the lanterns on the ship could be use as accent points, showing a bit more ship detail.

if the lightning was in the BG, you could see most of the ship, rigging, and creature in silhouette against illuminated clouds, with the harsh backlight giving a very dramatic look to the scene, and opening up the possibility of more depth cues. as it is, everything looks lit to the same level, and thus rather flat.

**Lynwood** · January 16th, 2007, 12:55 AM

for the great feedback guys/gals. I'll get to making some changes based on your comments and repost later.

**FungusAmongus** · January 16th, 2007, 02:08 AM

I think the colors are great, and the serpent really stands out, altho as someone else pointed out, it looks a little too docile, unless thats the emotion you're looking for it to convey. Almost as if being controlled. Also I think the clouds could use some more definition as well as the water. Overall It's quite nice tho.

**BlackBeret** · January 17th, 2007, 10:16 PM

I would work on the lighting. Don't know how but I think proper lighting can go a long way.

(maybe also add a lightning bolt)

**Lynwood** · January 19th, 2007, 02:41 AM

Thanks to the wonderful feedback here's the revised painting. I hope I've improved upon it. I think it is a much stronger piece now. Thoughts?

**Elwell** · January 19th, 2007, 02:50 AM

This thread is a textbook case of how to both give and receive crits. Congratulations to Lynwood on the piece, and congratulations to everyone else for helping him get there.

**yoitisi** · January 19th, 2007, 04:28 AM

This looks so much better than in the beginning

One more thing: the sail. It looks really flat at the moment, while it's in the middle of a storm. I think by playing with the shadows on the sail a bit more you could show it's catching some wind in it.

**BlackBeret** · January 19th, 2007, 02:59 PM

The lighting looks so much better now. However there's a white spot towards the top of the sail. It looks like there's some kind of spotlight shining on it and seems maybe almost unnatural. Where's the lighting coming for that?

**Deru** · January 19th, 2007, 08:18 PM

Wow I love your work. these two look soo awsome.

**Koncept** · January 20th, 2007, 01:31 AM

holy crap the revised version tooks a million times better! its cool to see that u took everyone's advise and tried them out. it really changed a good picture into a great one.
only crit i have is that the splash/foam parts of the sea water could use more form. even if they are splashes there should be parts of it with more light and parts with less. right now its just all white. treat it like the way u treated the rest of the picture where u done a amazing job in

**Lynwood** · January 20th, 2007, 05:52 PM

Ok, this will be the last update to this image. Once again, you guys catch things I would never have noticed and I thank you all. I'm very pleased how this thread/critique has gone and how well my painting has progressed because of it. Now, time to move onto something different.

**BigJKO** · January 22nd, 2007, 11:58 AM

Simply awesome! You've really used the critique to your picture's advantage. Much more vivid, and engaging. The light source is clearer and the lighting is a fantastic addition. And good idea on removing the rain, it seems now that it distracted a bit in the other updates.

As Koncept says, you really took a good image and made it fantastic!