Composition crits

**Jpasz** · June 25th, 2012, 05:09 AM

This is a piece I'm working on where a person is grafting a robotic limb onto their bone, I would like some help setting up where everything is.

These are 2 separate pictures that are side by side, the rough frame outlines separate them.

Also any reference material for composition, books from beginner to advanced, would be appreciated.

Thanks in advance, if it's unreadable (I can never tell, my sketches are always readable to me) tell me and I can revise it.

That thing hanging down with the hook attached to it is a mechanic's light, it's the one with the draw string cord so you can pull it down and put it wherever you want. It is the main light source with computer screens and soft lights and such throughout.

**Jpasz** · June 25th, 2012, 07:36 PM

I've decided to work on both for right now, maybe even finish both, nothing wrong with more practice, so here's an update on the first one.

**DvrJeroen** · June 25th, 2012, 08:23 PM

I think you could improve the composition of the first one a little by moving the guy's head off the center. Give the canvas a little more space on the left and maybe cut off a little on the right?
The second one looks good imo..

**Jpasz** · June 26th, 2012, 05:57 AM

Originally Posted by Jarkuzy

I think you could improve the composition of the first one a little by moving the guy's head off the center. Give the canvas a little more space on the left and maybe cut off a little on the right?
The second one looks good imo..

Shifted, going to work on one until the line art is moderately solid (to the point where small technicalities are all that is left in the structure)

I did say it was a composition critique, but feel free to critique anything, everything helps.

**Jpasz** · June 26th, 2012, 07:16 AM

This is where I'm leaving it tonight, hopefully can get some more critiques before it gets so far along it would just be destructive.

**dpaint** · June 26th, 2012, 10:25 AM

The head of the body on the floor creates a tangent with the guys shoulder; remember to overlap forms where you can. The hanging light on the left divides the space it occupies in half, overlap it with the box on the floor just to the right of it (move it right slightly).

When composing you want unequal divisions of space for the major elements. Look at where they are in relation to the edges of the image. Avoid tangents, equal spacing and equal sized and shaped things. Try not to have things the same height in the picture or pointing the same way. Group things by value to create larger and smaller masses. Center of interest should contain the greatest color saturation, strongest contrast and most detail of the image. To control things soften or blur edges and unify colors in unimportant places. Have secondary and tertiary areas that don't compete with the center of interest but allow the eye to move through the picture plane.

**Jpasz** · June 26th, 2012, 06:06 PM

Moved corpse, moved the hanging light too, I didn't think it would be so much of an issue though because of the fact that it will be very bright, how does it being a light source affect where it should fit in the piece? It will be high contrast by design, but the sharpness and detail of the man was to draw away from the high contrast of the light. Would that work?

**Edictiv** · June 26th, 2012, 08:27 PM

Scenes on a square canvas aren't very appealing. It's not that it's wrong. It's just that a longer canvas usually looks better. You should do that here. Also make it more zoomed in. Things are very small at the moment and there's going to be a lot of interesting bits on the arm I assume. Viewers will probably want a closer view.

**Jpasz** · June 28th, 2012, 07:18 AM

Playing with canvas size (was arbitrary decision originally with no thought put behind it, understandable that it would need to be changed)

And new person tells story better than old did.

Starting work on second comp, will post updates soon hopefully

**Jpasz** · July 1st, 2012, 07:19 AM

Working on both comps with a friend of mine who has had much more education with composition and such, this is the current state of the second comp idea.

It's not a fully completed idea, but I have work to do tomorrow and need to sleep. This is the state it's in right now, please tell me what you think.

**Jpasz** · July 8th, 2012, 05:17 AM

Work and such gets in the way, scrapped first concept, he was too small for how important he was as a point of interest.

Working on second, running into problems and will get references for old people, fat people, and this position particularly.

All crits welcome.

**Jpasz** · August 1st, 2012, 06:10 AM

Performing some thread necromancy here, after not getting any replies.

Also was gone for a couple of weeks, and couldn't work, but this is what I have so far.

**Danilo** · August 5th, 2012, 05:26 PM

http://gyazo.com/12c4e01eed1988e421f3199562edc65c
to me storytelling is key

**Jpasz** · August 14th, 2012, 05:21 PM

Been working on it a little here and there, coming together nicely, trying to decide on whether or not to use color for the final copy.

**Eldinga** · August 14th, 2012, 05:53 PM

The image itself seem to be readable, but much too cramped on the left. The guy in the back also seem to be hogging a bit too much attention - meaning, you've got two figures on both sides of the picture, battling for being the center of attention. You need to blur out one of them and put more focus on the other.