Creepy asylum... I mean fortress

[Enimael]

hey folks,

I finished this environment yesterday and I wanted to show it to you, to get some feedback. I am actually rather happy with it, allthough maybe the colors could be more exciting. But other than that I guess it gets the point across.

I would be really happy if anybody could comment on this.

Cheers,
Flo

[zephyri]

Hey Flo,

the image is looking lovely in terms of colour choices, and I like the design of the building (it's roof especially). I think the major thing letting you down here is your composition - the building finishes almost at the dead centre of the painting, effectively cutting it in half. This leaves the left hand side feeling really empty and the very downward facing clouds are simply redirecting my wandering eye back towards the ground, rather than back at the fortress. The extra background details like the rock formation and the tower feel really rushed, and don't really add much to the overall feel of the painting (not to mention the way you've painted the sky over the rock leaves it finished in a very unnaturally pointy fashion!).

I've attached a quick paintover, working mostly with what you have, and just stretching it to work more a rule of thirds composition. I've moved the clouds around to keep those diagonal lines you have going with the perspective of the building and the flags in the wind, and darkened some areas to push the over all perspective and atmospheric depth (mostly the foremost rocky area and a few of the shadows on the building).

If I'd spent any more time on it (working in my lunch hour atm ) I'd probably work more movement into the flags, and maybe look at the shapes that the foreground make and use them to focus the attention on the castle - they're currently very horizontal across the image and could recede back towards the castle more. I'd also see if I couldn't get a few more of those grassy blades into the mid ground for visual repetition.

Hope all that helps.. let me know if anything doesn't make sense!

[Enimael]

Hi Zephyri,

I really dig your overpaint. You are right, the composition really could use some improvement. At first I couldn't figure out, what you stretched, but now I get it. And thanks for the kind words, I really appreciate it.

Cheers,
Flo

[Enimael]

Hey there,

thanks again for the great input. Here's the newest version of it.

What I changed:
- added more shadows in the foreground as well as the castle-thing
- added more grass blades for visual repetition, though not too much
- some birds to get more life into the painting
- worked a little bit over the flags and making them more 3D
- tried to lead the beholders eye more with the shapes (clouds, rocks, grass, etc.)
- changed the composition so the castle is not ending right in the middle of the painting
- changed the rocks in the background to have more intersecting lines

What do you guys think?

Cheers,
Flo

[Charadas]

Hi,

I think this is a very neat picture, and much cooler than anything I would be able to produce, but because of the title "Creepy asylum... I mean fortress" I can't get past this question:

"Where is the creepy?"

As it is now, it's not in your picture, but I think it would be much more awesome if it was there. Maybe some deeper shadows and details like rust and grime and dead things could lend it some creepyness? Just some thoughts.

[Enimael]

yeah the "creepy asylum"-thing was actually an homage to a pretty known tutorial out there. just google it and you will see. the creepy-nes should be depicted by the lighting and the shapes of the fortress as well as the composition. the overall mood. but you are right, some textures could help this, so maybe I add some.

Cheers,
Flo

[Venger]

You might find this series of vids extremely useful -

Feng Zhu EPISODE 12 Creepy Asylum part1

[Enimael]

@ Blankstate: yeah it is kinda supposed to be tense and "evil" so I don't think I will change the flags or the lightnings. However maybe you have a very cool vision of it in your head that I just don't see atm. A quick paintover could help there.
@ venger: that's what the title of the thread is talking about but when you mean by that, that I should apply feng's techniques more, then you are probably right. maybe gonna grime that thing up more.

Thanks for the comments, I really appreciate it.

Cheers,
Flo

[Enimael]

little update on the thing after getting some input

I stretched the picture and added some more details to the gras, water and walls. also I fixed a little perspective issue on the walls.

Cheers,
Flo

[LuckyCharm]

Good improvement with the water; I, at first, thought it was snow actually, but I think you could work more with it.

I don't really like the tree and the guy there, plus it feels as if the fortress is smaller now (in comparison to the guy/tree).

I really liked the electric-thingies you had there, why get rid of them? I do agree they were fighting for attention with the flags, but simply making the sparks sparkier (brighter and higher contrast), and the flags duller in color would have been enough imo.

[Enimael]

@ Luckycharm: thanks for dropping by. You are right the tree was too big. Worked a little on the water, the flags and the tree.

Cheers,
Flo