I love your energy. That's a quality that's hard to fake. I wouldn't be concerned over complaints of this piece's cheesecake quality either. That's just it's quality. That's what your putting over, and that's fine.
If your going there, if your piece is about the beauty, or sex appeal; then feel free, go there. Holding back, or a mixed message will only dilute your work. I'd love to see this revised with the focus being more on the sex appeal. Were all adults here mostly. I wouldn't be modest about what your piece is trying to encapsulate.
My only technical feedback would be her hands, an easy fix if you kept the piece. Don't worry about fingers, or "grips". Draw her hands has if she's wearing oven-mits. Concentrate on the hands entire silhouette, and flesh-out fingers when your finishing the piece. And remember, hands suck and are hard to paint. Good stuff, love to see the revision.
Learn to gesture draw, try out "Drawn to Life" Stanchfield