What's wrong with this?

**KatieM** · July 10th, 2009, 07:43 PM

I know this isn't exactly "concept art" (it's a yearbook cover), but I've been struggling with this design for the past few hours and I'm not really sure what's wrong with it - but I know something's wrong. Sometimes I need a fresh perspective to help me figure these things out. The theme for the book is "thinking sideways" and our school is, obviously, called Walkersville. Any suggestions (about color change, font, overall design) would be greatly appreciated.

**Giacomo** · July 10th, 2009, 08:28 PM

The design looks pretty good to me as it is, but if I had to offer a critique I'd say it seems a bit "timid" and "overly polite." So you might want to be aggressive! Make elements BIG! Tilt them! ARRRGH! Be loud!

Suggestion attached below...there are obviously a multitude of other possibilities.

**KatieM** · July 10th, 2009, 08:37 PM

I had a feeling it was something like that! Great suggestions (particularly the "arrgh"

) And I love how you altered the design so it adds to the "sideways" theme; it looks way better already! Thanks so much!

**KatieM** · July 11th, 2009, 10:28 PM

Kittens, thanks for the suggestions as well. I was having a really hard time translating the "sidways" theme into my design but you're right tilting it sideways solves that problem. As for the ten, I didn't realize that this was the 2010 yearbook until I was halfway through the design (since it's still 2009 I forgot). Originally there was a low-opacity nine behind the walkersville/sideways part, and I did like it much better, but I had to change it. And I forgot to add the year to the binding! Thanks for the advice

**Hedeon** · July 12th, 2009, 12:40 AM

Frankly I have one "clean" style yearbook, on the shelf with the others and it is the most uninteresting design with its white spine and boring font. Doesn't say anything for that year of my life at all.

So all I really got on that is add dimension to it, textures, shapes, whatever. I'd steer away from using photographs of students but the school or something even as just a fade would add some interest to the design.

ALSO! Make sure you make it at a high DPI, this yearbook although its really cool, is a little pixelated

**kittens** · July 10th, 2009, 08:30 PM

I'm not huge on graphic design, but what I do notice is there is nothing really "sideways" about it thus far. How it reads to me now is just upside down. Maybe if the text was actaully sideways or vertical instead of horizontal, that might be too literal for what you were going for though I dunno.

Another thing is that I feel like the "10" should completely be readable when the book is face up and also on the binding, but that is just a personal preference.

Other than that I really like the colors you've got going and I enjoy the simplicity!

**kittens** · July 10th, 2009, 08:32 PM

Giacomo's example was exactly what I was thinking!

**Ian Barker** · July 12th, 2009, 08:39 AM

Right now it takes a long time to connect the words "thinking" and "sideways", I would try and make the connection between those words more easily readable.

**Janos** · July 12th, 2009, 09:04 AM

Yeah I just wanted to say that.
I read thinking walkersville, and I was wondering what it might mean. Change that and think about what Hedeon said, though I do not find that that necessary, and you are good to go.

**KatieM** · July 12th, 2009, 11:57 AM

Thanks guys for more critique! I'm still brainstorming on how to connect thinking and sideways without having to eliminate "walkersville" completely. I really like how the dot in the "i" connects to the 0 in "10".

However, I'm definitely thinking of doing another version later that incorporates some of the elements of this design. Last year the head designer changed his cover design several times before settling on the final version so I didn't expect to get it right on the first go.

Heodon, I agree with you that the "clean" style yearbooks do look a bit too generic and boring, but that's the style that my yearbook advisor usually prefers. For my new design though, I intend to add some of your suggestions like photographs and textures (I particularly wanted to add photos to this one but I don't have access to them just yet)

Anyway here's my latest version:

**sleepy_kiks** · July 12th, 2009, 12:20 PM

I like the tilt, but am I the only one finding the lettering for sideways to be a little too soft colour wise? Also as suggested above I think the word sideways should be nudged a little closer to thinking so it reads better.