Beginning of a poject, help me find fatal flaws NOW! before its too late

[Rune Rask]

Heya there.

Working on this image right now... hmmm its really not bothering me yet... so
theres got to be some major flaws. worked on this contantly for the last 2-3
hours so i cant really do a step back evaluation yet.

.... and i got real excited then depressed looking at someones sketchbook today (DARN It! i need to get good FAST!)

Rune

[Mute]

looks like a cool idea!

Proportionally things are a little wonky. Everybody's hands are too small, remember hands are roughly the same size as the face from the bottom of the chin to the hairline.
The girl needs more skull behind her ears to have room enough for her brain. Her rib cage looks a tad too small (make it slightly longer and wider.) Her left arm also looks dislocated because the shoulder is too far from the ribs. Her legs seem too long and thick around the thighs. The thickness can be attributed to the fact that it appears you have drawn the inside angle of the legs together at the crotch, which is inaccurate. She needs room for her sexual organs...

Also, try and draw the body of the man under the cloak at this stage, to get an idea of what he is doing under there. Because of the angles of his forearms and where they are emerging from his clothes, we can surmise that the length of his arms from the shoulder to the elbow is too long on the left and too short on the right. His shoulders look to be alittle too wide, and I'm having trouble understanding how he can hold her up so awkwardly.

Wow, that looks like alot. Eh, it's really just a matter of little tweaks here and there.
It'll be cool to see your progress! Rock on!

[Rune Rask]

Wow that was alot effort in a post! thanks alot for all the good points
ive drawn hes body a couple of times, but yeah i cant really make it fit, ill give it another try !

about her anatomy, thnx alot, time to fix the stuff i couldnt see before!

and about his ability to hold her like that, that was my intention, since hes suposed to be really strong (being a vampire and all) i thought a relaxed and really casual type of holding could work

back to work see ya

Rune

[misosoupaddict]

I like the gesture of her hand on our left, so the guy's hand on our right (his left hand) seems a bit lifeless (no pun intended, lol). Perhaps angle it towards his face, and/or place it more underneath her thigh?

Her shoulder near his face could be lowered (then the corresponding breast should be lowered too).

Her boobies seem to be reaching too high towards her clavicle. The origin of boobies is centered around the bottom of the pectorals (around the 5th rib?), and their weight (not balloons!) pushes them down even further.

Since the ribcage is a round thing, breasts must grow from it as if growing from a cylinder. The direction of her nipples seems right, but the placement of the breast on our right seems too near the center.

You had the front knee's anatomy nicely indicated, but i think it got lost in the shading.

Tangents between a line in her hair and his fingernail, panties and a line in his white clothing, panties and fingernail, line in cloak and his wrist.

LOVE their faces btw. Her forehead is high, but it works! And he looks so cool and badass, but also rough in a way.