Bye, Helzon. I will not forget you. I wish you lived.
I hope you can read this from where you're at. You were one of those online presences that I really looked forward to meeting one day. Your kindness, incredible sense of humor, passion for your art and for your friends made you a giant among men.
My hope for all that have been touched in some way by you can take up the torch, or pencil and continue on with your kindness, humor and passion.
God bless, Mike. I pray that peace has found you.
I didn't know what to say to Brendan when he called today. How could I? The shock was too much for me, and all my brain could do was go through the what if's and the why's. You are an amazing soul-- your quick wit, your constant caring, your offers of a hand, an eye, an ear. I spent the morning wishing I had made it out to the diner more, that we had hung out for beers some weekend, that I posted on your blog more. You deserved more from me, for all that I received from you in return, and I wish I still had the chance to repay you. Life got in the way. It got in your way, and mine too. I couldn't console you when your mom died, because I didn't know how, but you seemed your usual, chipper self-- the weird mix of cynicism and optimism that you always seemed to carry yourself with. I don't know why you finally made the choice you did, or if there was anything I could have done to stop you if we had talked, but it's a question I keep asking myself. I will miss you dearly--your humor, your kindness, your passion, your skill-- I think anyone who knew you or was touched by your presence will. I hope and pray you find peace on the other side, with all my heart.
I feel terrible, guys, thinking about him, feeling compassion to this warm and strong personality (apparently he didn't let people know about his horrible suffering and solitude) and feeling that I should have done something to stop him.
I know him just a little but he touched my life. I wish I could have helped him.
He was a sensitive, powerful storyteller and an artist with a fine taste and eye for beauty. He loved his mom so gently and was so capable to be so grateful for so little.
Hope your suffering is gone. You deserved peace, Mike. I wish you were with us though and were happy.
Beautifully stated. If you want to talk, you know I'm here, bro.
What a waste... hope your feeling better wherever you are mate.
[url=http://galleryonefone.blogspot.com[/url] This would be my gallery in Sweden
This would be my Pleine Air blog
To the friends of Mike (Helzon):
I received a wish from Mike's family to post a note to his friends online. For some, you have already received a personal email from his family, as have I. Some of what is written below is paraphrased from two brief correspondences with his family:
"Michael passed away on August 2, 2008. He had been very despondent since his mother's passing a year and a half ago and took his life. We want to thank all of you for being his friend. He cherished his artist friends and gaming buddies and this is very difficult news for us to pass on.
We will scatter his ashes this weekend at the ocean near sound view beach where his mother's ashes were scattered. Again sorry to pass this news."
Mary Anne D'Agata and Stephen D'Agata
His family wanted all to know that they wish Michael really knew how loved he was by us. There was so much support waiting for him if he could have only reached out and asked for help. Thank you.
I'm sorry, my friend, I always assumed there would be more time.
You will be remembered fondly.
Peace be with you.
Mike Dagata, one of the most open minded, friendly and competant people I've ever chatted with about art and life. I will always miss you. Hope to see you again.
I'll never be able to tell you how influencial you were to me, I know I wouldn't be where I am without your constant support. You were possibly the most kind-hearted guy i'd ever met and I valued your opinion as high as anyones. You were so tremendously talented, I always used to wonder how you weren't turning people away for work. I took for granted that I would always be able to come see you, never knowing your true struggle. We will all miss you greatly, and I hope and pray your in a better place. Rest in peace man~*
-Joel "Sartell" Earley
OMG! I can't believe this! I worked with Mike for over a year on MOD project a couple of years ago. And we kind of lost touch after that, but he continued to give me crits and advice with my work. He was a great guy.
This is really terrible news.
Last edited by Lone Wolf; August 18th, 2008 at 06:48 PM.
It was great getting to know you over the last couple of years both online and over the phone. We lost touch over the last 7 months which is unfortunate because I feel as if I could have made a difference had I put forth that extra bit of effort. Your patience, kindness, and dedication to those that were a part of your life was truly admirable. With so much to offer to so many people you are going to be sorely missed.
I received an email from Mike's sister. I'm including it here just so you know that your messages are heart felt:
"I just finished reading the concept art forum and want to relay how touched I am reading how Michael's kindness, humor and talents were appreciated by his friends and that he will be missed by so many. I also read a request to see a picture of him and will offer a wonderful print my nephew gave me yesterday of him if you want to send a snail mail address for me to send it to for scanning. My technical resources and skills to do that are limited, but if you are able to I'd be happy to send a print for his friends. He was pretty camera shy and am so happy Jesse was able to get a good picture of him for us." – Mary Anne
I'm hoping that BWKeough, who is local to Mike's area, will be contacted by Mike's sister to scan in his photo and post it, otherwise I will do this.
In Memory of Helzon,
I'm going to sticky the thread for a couple weeks, so that those who wish to post messages, goodbyes and share their stories of their friend may do so. Again, it was very sad to hear the news. My condolences
Yes, I would appreciate to see his face. Thank you in advance. It is already few days went from the day we heard the sad news, but I still think about him and feel sad.
I knew him a little... but I saw him in the moment when a person opens up the most and one can see who this person is: in stress, in moment of deepest grief.
I encountered Mike when I wrote a comment to Mike Dutton, in his sketchbook. I just returned from my trip to my homeland, Russia and was a bit torn apart from what I saw and felt there. So I wrote a bit scattered in thoughts and emotion post. Mike humorously summed up my wordy post, I responded, he replied and then I came to his sketch book and gave him no less wordy comment to his art. It was sort of ambiguous comment: sort of test on humility and humanity as well... It is hard to see the person behind the words, and, putting him in the situation when he has to show his priorities, helps immediately to see to whom I'm talking.
Well... he replied with humor, was modest, but had stamina and strictly defined values, was kind and free from any ego or vain... I liked how he had reacted.
And then his Mom died suddenly... and he was so down... but still thankful and grateful and thoughtful about every tiniest sign of compassion to him. That speaks hugely about what kind of person he was behind these words: kind, thoughtful, giving, loving, self-forgetting.
I wish he wrote to me and share his sadness with me.
The entry to Last man stranding he did was extraordinary in skills, taste and most of all emotion: he is a very talented artist and deep thinker.
Last edited by sve; August 20th, 2008 at 01:16 AM.
Very sad news. It's heartbreaking to know another member from our little community has left us. It's always a great pleasure to see artists grow over time and it really saddens me to have to accept that we'll never get to see Helzon's art reach his pinnacle state. Rest in peace.
rest in peace mike
this is sad, i dont really know how to express myself, my english is bad, and i dindnt knew him, and thats sad too, just wanted to give my thanks, for sharing your art with everyone, and for what ive readed, for being a great person, Rest In Peace Mike, Love from everybody on CA.
we'll miss you Mike.
What a tragedy...
I just found this out right now. RIP Buddy
oh god i can't begin to thank all of you so so much i can't help to read what all of you wrote through tear soaked eyes ,i cryed till i couldent any more i am MIKES( HELZON) brother (helson2stpcwby) if you would like to see what helzon looked like my son has made up a truley wonderful photo, if you the powers that be at this sight could help me keep this (you call it sticky) open sight i will do my best to get it up on here it in the next day , please feel free to contact me here at ca (helson2stpcwby) or e-mail at ([email protected])
THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH for being helzon friend, compainion, mentors, as well my heart goes out to you as well.
I feel such a compassion to you, Mike's brother... I really wish you to find powers and support to heal.
He will be in my thoughts forever,,, His life and his death deeply effected me and I will remember him as a very good person, who had a warm heart and compassion to people he loved... and I will remember him for his art. It was graceful, and he talked with people through it. I would love to see his face.
I blamed myself for being thick skinned and not to write to him regularly. I think I could have stopped him form this wrong perception of his own existence.
Find peace for your self, Mike and come to us again anew... World is better with people like you.
So I was rummaging through the studio looking for reference on a painting I'm working on, when I stumbled onto a couple old photos of Mike. He had posed for a painting I was working on then. These date back to about 2001, probably the most recent photos I would have.
I'm still trying to find some of the old comic pages we used to work on. Somewhere I have copies of his original pencils before inked them.
Thank you. Mike's face has a soft features. And he looks relaxed and at peace, like someone who knows and feels attraction of world around him. Like someone who likes a good food, good intelligent conversation, good movie, good walk in the city, change of seasons, good company.
How strange... I can relate this face to his posts, but can't relate it to his art... his art was sophisticated, mystical, dramatic and elegant... this is down to earth, calm, pacified face. Like he inhales an air around him with pleasure...
Maybe I'm wrong.
Thanks again. MikeL.
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