Harsh Critique needed urgently!!

[spoonbard]

Heyya, new here ^_^
A friend recommended this place for good critiques.

I'm trying to get this image up to the highest standard possible. Currently it's at a *very* rough stage, I just don't want to embellish too much before I get some good opinions I feel like the general look and feel, as well as a rough idea of the final colours are demonstrated reasonably.

Just as quick info: It still contains the original pencil sketch multiplied over the top, which won't be there eventually. The lighting is still innacurate I realise, and the ripples in the water are just a horribly crude indication of the fact that there will be ripples there eventually. If anyone could point me towards a good tutorial on painting water, that would be awsome too

[Elwell]

http://www.conceptart.org/forums/showthread.php?t=58556
http://www.conceptart.org/forums/showthread.php?t=70533

[spoonbard]

Ah, I didn't realise that! It's fixed now... god knows why I didn't just upload it the first time :/ *was being lazy*
Thanks for the heads up!

[Slash]

the first thing that strikes me as off is the perspective on the rightmost speaker (?) where the bottom element looks wrong compared to the top of the speaker. the second thing is, as you said yourself, the lighting. IE, her feet should be in shadow from that speaker to the left.

[Darklit]

i really like the composition here, i think with some dfetail and tweaking this will turn out amazing.

that said, i think there aresome issues with her right knee... i know it looks a bit stylized, which ois cool, bit it looks as though its too thin. i think iif you want to make it styleized you have take it a bit farther, or thicken it up a bit.

on the same note, i think the upper arms are a little long. i like ho they hit the water, but i think the upper arms go down to the bottom of yourrib cage and then bend

anyway, thats all i can really7 see wrong with it, i suspect there may be some lighting issues but im terrible atspotting those, muchless doing anything about it.

hope that helped!

[joelhinxman]

looks cool so far.

you got the shadows on the water good but ya need to carry them over onto the skin. she seams to be in a dif light from the world around.

if the light was comeing from the right of the image (behind her) then her front would be in less light.

the leg on the left(her right leg) kinda looks off to me. it looks like its set a litte far from the body. i think it needs to be partly behind of her other leg.

i like your sky so far

[gorillagrin]

You've captured a nice expression in the face and it looks like this piece is heading in the right direction. Plenty of good advice so far, so I'll just add a couple of things.

Right now the face is reading as pretty androgynous. I'm all for painting less "perfect" females but I definitely thought this was a male character and the breasts were confusing me. Just something to be aware of. One thing you could do is make the chin less strong and sharp.

Also you haven't established your full value range, but be careful about that background speaker and the right side of her face (cheek and hair mostly)... right now they are pretty similar in terms of value and temperature. You're going to need to change one or the other to get the face to not melt into the background,

Let's see where you take it next!

[Sirio_Brozzi]

I dont have any other advice to offer other than what has been said..But Im loving the idea and cant wait to see what you do with this piece.

[theincredibleandy]

-lighting directions on the figure and background don't match at all, so I'd recommend rethink the background to mtach the figure. Laziness=unfinished.

-anatomy is extra funky. The only exaggeration you actually made was on the mouth, and when you only exaggerate one feature of a person's body it looks like a deformity. The other stylizations you made to the figure don't seem to be done with functionality in mind, and we'll feel that weirdness even if we don't know the problem. Aside from that, don't fudge the perspective on the speakers too much unless you don't want them to sit properly in space. You can have them at any angle you like, but don't go too crazy on the foreshortening with the speakers in the background.

Keep it up and show us some more. Have a nice day

[spoonbard]

Thanks so much for the crits guys, there's some really useful stuff there! ^__^ I'm working hard on getting the lighting to carry between the background and the figure, and I've made the mouth smaller, and the jaw-line a little more delicate ^_^ It's already looking a lot better with those few things altered!
I'll post the finished image up here when it's done.
Thanks again!!