Graphite WIP

**freemantillimcaught** · January 21st, 2006, 09:16 PM

Hey Ive been lurking for a while and since I like the quality of critque here i thought I would ask for some assistance with one of my newest drawings.
Well I've started one of my major works for my final year of IB art. I chose to do a large graphite drawing (the medium im most comfortable with) as a starting point before I do that "experimentation" thing the syllubus seems to adore. The concecept is fairly straightforward, I'm trying to capture that idea of how the imagination can be stimulated by the everyday and mundane and how when we are stumped for ideas we are often over looking inspiration as we are too jaded to simply look. Well enough about that and here is the first image, its is a WIP and i would have posted the line art before i started shading yet it was too light. I would really appreciate any comments on the lighting, antomy, composition or anything else. Im at a stage where i can change some elements whereas others it would be far too messy, yet I still would like some input for future works.

**unknown_epiphany** · January 21st, 2006, 10:25 PM

not bad at all. i am also doing a huge graphite work right now. lifesize self portrait whereas the whole body is to be shown. its 48 inches tall by 54 inches wide. just one question though what kind of paper is that and what size is that? oh and p.s. that picture frame needs to be much straighter. the shading on the creatures stomach doesnt quite match up to your bodys lit areas either.

**Idriks** · January 21st, 2006, 11:21 PM

I have a stupid question .... what is WIP?

**unknown_epiphany** · January 21st, 2006, 11:48 PM

work in progress.. and its not stupid. c&c means critiques and compliments too.

**Serrat** · January 22nd, 2006, 12:30 AM

Things to check on from reference:
-the nose and eyes seem a bit small
-Did you draw the entire back of the skull? It might be his hair, but it seems a bit incomplete.
-Is the right (his left) hand too small?
-the knuckle definition of the left (his right) hand in shadows.
-double check the foot extending towards the viewer.

Even with all that, you have an excellent range of values (particularly for graphite. wow). The smallness in certain places comes from focusing very intently on something without necessarily regarding it with the whole, which is both a good and bad habit. Something that has helped me with that is just taking a step back to look at the artwork from a distance, and looking back and forth between the drawing and what you are referencing to get a sort of mental "animation" of the differences between the two.

**freemantillimcaught** · January 22nd, 2006, 01:36 AM

Unknown: It is slightly larger then A3, but the actual peice of paper is far larger so as I could have A3 working space not just and a3 sheet. My art teacher calls the paper stone hendge, its a heavier paper with a very smooth grain to it. The boarder is straight its just the photo i took as kind of distorted the image, next update Ill take a clearer photo. The stomahc lighting has bothered me, i wanted to make it apper as if it was buldging out, hence the light hiting it, but i will prob darken it.

Serrat:
Things to check on from reference:
-the nose and eyes seem a bit small ; yes indeed they are. I'm going to try and fix it but it will be hard without making a mess of it.
-Did you draw the entire back of the skull? It might be his hair, but it seems a bit incomplete. I'm not quite sure what you mean, do you mean that it appears as if the hair needs to extend out further to accomodate more of the skull?
-Is the right (his left) hand too small? Yeah i notcied it too, I will fix it for sure as its in an easy to do so place.
-the knuckle definition of the left (his right) hand in shadows. This part of reference was rather confusing so i will study it a tad closer and fix it as it isnt really correct
-double check the foot extending towards the viewer. I cant see anything too wrong with it but ill double check it again.
And i know what you mean i do need to look at the image as a whole rathe rthen just as parts. I just get carried away with little details which cn look nice but can often hurt the composition as a whole. But ive gotten better and im continuing to set my mind to creating whole works not just fine details.

Thanks you so much for the comments everyone

**Serrat** · January 22nd, 2006, 11:36 PM

Yeah, you need to do a bit more hair to accomodate the skull.

**timpaatkins** · January 24th, 2006, 07:30 AM

Some issuse about the shoulders too. They prolly shouldnt be aligned, as more weight is being put on his right. Something about the shoulders is bothering me. Could it be that his right one is too large?
Do the mirror thing! And I think that the pillow hes resting his elbow on would be alot more depressed than it is now. The creature in the BG looks really nice, good job!

Cheers TIm

**Undertow** · January 24th, 2006, 10:07 AM

Your rendering looks pretty good so far although there are some issues that need to be addressed. The upper torso between the zyphoid process and colar bone area looks a little elongated and the head looks a bit cartoonish almost as if the head and the body came from 2 different references. The background that you have loosely roughed in looks rubbery. I'd recommend taking a rule to the straight edge elements to help with the basic shapes before you add values. The composition isn't too bad but the final images success will hinge on some of those background elements bringing the overall piece together. Keep it up.
-Mike V

**freemantillimcaught** · January 25th, 2006, 07:48 PM

Well here is an updat in which i adressed all the problems I could (fixing things suhc as the shoulders would be far too messy but I can see the problems now too and will know what to look for in the future, thanks for the help). I am yet to fix the head but it will be done shortly. The torso is indeed elongated (that anitmating method of looking is really useful) but once again it was too messy to change, yet I know now how to avoid it in the future.
So here is an update, any new comments are appreciated

**freemantillimcaught** · January 31st, 2006, 03:07 AM

another update.

comments appreciated

**Art_Addict** · January 31st, 2006, 06:18 AM

What exactly did you fix? Serrat pointed out the most obvious anatomy issues but I don't see any change in your last update.
Let me say this as someone who has had and still has the same problems :
' Don't think rendering out a bad drawing is gonna make it better '
I'm not trying to be rude and say your drawing is bad, but, you have mainly anatomy issues here, and rendering the drawing more isn't going to make them go away.
Don't be afraid to go in there and start erasing entire parts.
When you eventually make the base drawing better, the end result is gonna be much more satisfying, trust me.
1 more crit : you cropped the image in your initial post. In the last update you show a lot more from the bed and floor.
Composition wise, that's a strange choice. I assume your main focal points
would be the figure and creature, so why show so much of the bed?
Think about what's the most important in your image. The sheets and book on
the floor or the creature?

Good luck

**freemantillimcaught** · January 31st, 2006, 11:56 PM

I have change dthings like the size of the skull and i have noted the stuff about the shoulders, just it would literally be too messy to erase and fix. So messy that it would ruin the imgage. I have taken on baord the things mentioned for next time, i wish i could change it but the shading is so dark it just makes mess and doenst actually erase (i know because i tried in one spot). I have extended the sie of the skull, made the other hand larger, defined the left arm (our left) shadow more carefully. I'm not sure how to fix the leg comming out towards the viewer. Im also working on fixing the size of the pecks.
Yeah I know what you are saying about the composition but it was to make room for another figure (yet to be added) but i could have made the focus more on those two figures. Thanks for the comments, its been noted

**Necronomicouch** · February 1st, 2006, 05:04 PM

At this point if I were you, I would trace over the whole image, fix the anatomy problems, and start rendering again if youre worried about ruining the image. There are some serious anatomy problems that need addressing and at this point would you rather have a nicely rendered drawing with bad anatomy or a nicely rendered drawing with good anatomy? Your choice.

**Carl Dobsky** · February 1st, 2006, 05:57 PM

I would have to agree with Necronomicouch.

You have some very nice things going on and it's obvious that you have the ability to make this a nice drawing. And if you realize there are problems you owe it to yourself to fix them. Don't let this get you down. It is an opportunity to grow and learn. The more you tackle these problems as they arise the more your rate of growth increases.
Tracing the drawing, making the corrections, and then transferring to a new surface is a very sound working practice. Sure you're going to lose a lot of hours of work. But if you don't fix the issues that you are aware of, you stand to lose the impact that such a peice could have on the viewer .
Don't lose heart. Dive in and go for it. The reward is woth the effort.

**Iron Titan** · February 3rd, 2006, 06:06 PM

More hair dude, and I'd fix the jawline too(could be heavier)

http://www.conceptart.org/forums/showthread.php?t=60883
http://www.conceptart.org/forums/showthread.php?t=60824

**Professor Az** · February 3rd, 2006, 10:49 PM

The decision to do up a redraw is never an easy one, and I can see why you would want to keep this piece since you've already put so much time and effort into it. However, I would agree, better to fix obvious problems by preforming a redraw, than finishing it and wishing you had.

**sone_one** · February 4th, 2006, 08:23 AM

i agree with the guys above.... if you dont fix those mistakes that are obvious to you (even yet), youll hate this piece. and whats the point in spending lots of time on something you wouldnt like to show to others later?

you might be able to fool the one or the other with the rendering ... but youll never be able to fool yourself ...

**freemantillimcaught** · February 10th, 2006, 03:13 AM

The redraw sounds like a plan but I really just won't to finish it. I wil have one more attemnpt at repairing the anatomical issues and then i will go for the redraw. Damn this delima. i really wanna get it perfect but i alos wanna finish it.

**Runteh** · February 10th, 2006, 12:09 PM

Redraw mate, your never going to get the graphite clean out of the paper. Could end up a bit of a mess. Its a shame, everything else is coming along nicely.

hp · February 10th, 2006, 02:56 PM

i like the contrast in this piece, if you don't restart it i'd push for more rendering in the face.

i was in ap/ib art too...before you send off your pieces redo this one. trust me, it's possible. i completely redid about 15 pieces in week or less before i sent mine off to be graded ^^...there's nothing like having a few hours to do a piece

somehow it always ended up being better for me.

**freemantillimcaught** · March 5th, 2006, 02:03 AM

I went a spoke to my art teacher about the possibilities of redraw etc and thye suggested I try and fix the issues and then simply finish it. Her argument was that I Should learn from the critiques and moove onto other works as in the end it would benefit my marks far more to complete other work in the time it would take to do a redraw. I have fixed up the shoulders as much as I could and hope that it makes the anatomical inaccuracies less. I'm still after critques as i find that with each subsquent work I improve base don what people have said about preveious works. (oh ignore the slight distortion its due to the camera. Also the brightness in the bottom right hand corner is due to the lamp i used, it sisnt actually in the drawing but looks as if it is)

And here is another work i'm doing, it is based on the same sort of theme but is from a much more playful angle. This is to be done digitally