Twenty One Petals (updated)

**Noah Bradley** · April 9th, 2005, 04:24 PM

Continued crits go here.

Hi everyone.

Here's a piece I'm working on for a friend's birthday. I could really use some advice on what to add/how or if to crop it/technique/etc.

Thanks in advance.

**Soultek** · April 9th, 2005, 05:48 PM

Looking good so far. I imagine this is goin to be a card of some sort... if so will there be text above the flower, it seems like a good spot to put text. also are you going to color it?

**Rebecca** · April 9th, 2005, 08:11 PM

I think, for somthing so delicate like a daisy; deserves to have nice delicate lines.

These lines are looking too thick and sketchy. You should try and draw in long strokes and don't sketch so much round tight corners, such as in these petals,

although i'm guessing that it will look better when it's coloured.

**Noah Bradley** · April 9th, 2005, 11:59 PM

Soultek: Although the pic is kinda small, the original is 9" across, and quite a bit more lengthwise.

So there won't be any text up there, and that's why I was wondering if I should crop it down.

Rebecca: Thanks for the critiques, I do appreciate them.

I took your advice and smoothed out the petals quite a bit. Tryed to minimalize my lines. As for coloring, well, I don't think I'll be doing any color on this... not really good at it.

More critiques, please.

**Kon** · April 10th, 2005, 04:10 AM

Don't crop it, I think the size of the image and placement of the flower is fine.. I would just try and refine things a bit by smoothing the values in order to make it look less sketchy, for example in the grass in the background you can see a bit of scribbling, you would want to try and make that less noticable by smoothing the values a bit where it is needed..
I'd then finish it by making some sort of border, maybe just something simple and clean..

also if you want, you can put maybe a ladybug or something flying around above the flower.. or maybe a small butterfly..

**Halis_Aetrous** · April 10th, 2005, 04:10 PM

Just an idea... this would make a really nice watercolor, if you are into that kind of thing. (I'm thinking yellows and oranges.)

**Aberrant** · April 11th, 2005, 12:46 AM

Try using line weight a little more to better show the top/bottom of the flower. I'd like the composition more if it were a little left of center, since it's tilted a bit.

**Noah Bradley** · April 11th, 2005, 09:24 AM

Alright, here's an updated version. I sacrificed tonal quality for getting the real cropping of the picture (as in, used a camera instead of a scanner).

Kon: Thanks for the crits, I tried to take out the obvious lines in the tones. What sort of border are you thinking about? An erased outline around the picture? I do like the idea of a little butterfly... maybe if I find a good photo to base it off of...

Halis_Aetrous: Quite right. Trouble is, I haven't done much/any watercolors so far. I'll get to it, I suppose.

Aberrant: As you can see, the real picture is a bit more off-centered.

Thanks again everyone. Out of curiousity, when I consider this piece "finished" do I start a new thread in the help CC section, or get this one moved over there?

**Rebecca** · April 11th, 2005, 01:16 PM

y'know. watercolours are (I think) very easy. It was the first form of traditional paint I used, and its good for getting nice even colours.

You could do a colour wash in the colours that Halis_Aetrous suggested (yellows and oranges) perhaps some green?. and add in small details with a coloured pencil, just subtley though.

thats just a small idea, but it seems that you are already planning somthing different seeing as you've allready added in the tone with the graphite. well, it's still lookin fantastic!