Pushing it further before rendering

[LORD M]

Hiya all! I am working on this piece now and then trying to get a good interesting dark, mysterious and warm feel of the painting, the deep dark pine-forests of Sweden. Basically the concept idea is a young prince seeking advice or something like that by a witch in a tarn, who also tries to lure him in. I am not happy with the colors and values, I feel it lacks some "oomph!" that is very much needed.

I would very much appreciate some advice on how to push it "further" before I start rendering it. It was very much inspired by the Swedish artist John Bauer.

Thanks guys.

[dierat]

Love the mood so far; I think you're really nailing the creepy fairy tale vibe. The expression in the characters' poses is also very nice. I get the feeling it's a haughty prince scorning a creature that is more dangerous than it appears in its present condition, a mistake he will soon discover in misery.

The composition feels a tad awkward to me, like the whole thing was accidentally pushed an inch to the right. The main character is almost dead center in the piece while the water being is squished into the corner, and the whole left and top of the image is almost completely empty. It may seem a bit 'safe' but I would personally move everything up and to the left a little to center the space between the characters.

For the values, boost the contrast and emphasize the warm reflected light bouncing up from the soft forest floor.

My only crit on the figures is that your prince is very feminine; I had to read your text twice to make sure you really intended that character to be male. The face has a beautiful heart shape, and the fluffy golden hair and skirt-length tunic aren't helping.

[Griffonnage]

That's a very nice drawing, really like the prince.

I think you miss some light sense, it's currently hard to understand the yellow on the floor as sunlight, try to make it brighter. The light on the foreground doesn't work as light, it miss something to understand it (casted shadows are off the place). As well for the little prince he doesn't looks like lighted. The forest in the background is very dark, I understand it's intentionnal to push the forward scene more, but it's maybe a little "too much".

Here I tried to find some forest in the same condition, hope that can help you

http://www.chaoswallpapers.com/view-...-1024x768.html
http://pro.imagesbybay.com/images/Da...61-920x613.jpg
http://image.shutterstock.com/displa...-115378267.jpg
http://www.nps.gov/romo/naturescienc...-body_size.jpg

[atomander]

Just wanted to say I really love what you have started here, I think you are capturing the mood very well. I particularly like the dappled lighting.

[Elwell]

Great start, and I really like dierat's composition suggestions. But the prince, although a lovely piece of drawing, looks in no way like a male character, even a young one, even an effete one. And it's not just the hair.

[LORD M]

Wow thanks guys for the replies!

dierat - I really like what you did to it, and I can see how much moving it a lil bit up and to the left does for the composition. Remarkable that a change that small can have such an impact. And thanks for the crit on the values, I love what you did there, very close to how I envision the scene in my mind. And yepp I agree with you on the male character, needs a more manly jaw haha. Great thanks!

Griffonnage - Ah yes you too are very right about the lighting and the casted shadows. Your examples show the kind of things I should have thought about. And great selection of images, saving them all! Thank you for the help!

atomander - Hehe thank you very much my friend. Makes me glad you like it!

Elwell - Thank you Elwell! I too like what dierat told me to do and I shall do it, made me very happy I posted here for some critique before I continued on it. I agree on the prince, not enough male in the facial structure and I shall change it.

I can show the types of faces that inspired me, it is no type any defense or so because I do agree with you and will make it more manly looking (I am thinking the jaw and chin mainly can fix it). Here's some drawings by John Bauer.

[Velocity Kendall]

Its very lovely, but if a boy stands with his heels together like that its a trifle.. constricting...
also perhaps a subtle ripple focused on her elbow?
a bewitching start tho, great job.

[Zilkenian]

I know, everyone already told you about the prince looking like a girl, so I won't say a thing about it.
I saw both of the pictures dierat posted, and with the contrast and the brightness of the colors, the prince is in the middle of the picture, like taking all the attention.

When I see the picture the first thing I see it's his hair, his face, and then him, but I fail to notice the witch in the water. People tend to read from left to right, up to down (except japanese, they read from right to left, but that's not the point).
The human eye will start at the top-left of the drawing, then the first look will go totally diagonal to bottom-right, BUT, it'll stops if something caughts its attention (the prince in this case, or more, his hair) more than everything, and surelly won't continue.

As my teacher told me, human eye is lazy, very, very lazy (and so it's the mind), so you have to give everything easy to both of them, or they'll fail to notice everything else. In this case, the witch won't be seen until later, sometimes won't be noticed.

But, in the composition that dierat made as a sugestion, the witch is glowing like the prince. She has a very important part of the light of the composition too, like him. The human eye will notice there's something more and will go to see what is it.


I hope this helps you.

[zephyri]

Nothing much further to add to what's already been critted, but wanted to say I think this is gorgeous! My one piece of feedback would be that the angle you have the scabbard at currently would be very hard to grip with the opposite hand - the scabbard would have to extend behind the figure rather than across it, but i understand that it's fairly important compositionally.

[dierat]

Maybe just go for a girl since it's not a specific story you're portraying? Because I personally think she's beautiful as is. I love the face, the hair, the pose, everything.

[kingkostas]

Yo markus!!!!
Great crits from everyone!!! Here my contribution

[LORD M]

Sorry guys, late reply, working on graduation project for my biology education.


Velocity Kendall - You are very right about... constricting hehe. Adding a subtle ripple is a great idea. Thank you!

Zilkenian - You are right about readability, makes me realize I got to bring forth the witch and the prince more. I am thinking I could make her skin much more white, like it havent seen sunlight in years or ages, a bit like Gollums skin. Thanks!

Zephyri - Hah! Just tried having my hand in the same pose, does not work well hehe. So instead I'll place the hand on the pommel. Thanks a lot!

dierat - Hehe thanks, but I do feel I want it to be a male, I just got to eventually fix it. Thanks again!

kingkostas - Sorry for the late reply on your amazing amount of crit and help kostas! You left me speechless! You are very much right about what you speak of, and I will use this immensely when I fix my piece, so many good tips and ideas. Makes me realize a lot of things one should think of as an artist and that things should come in a certain order, completely new to me! Thank you so much!

This reply might not seem as much justice towards the amount you gave me, but be sure to know I am taking it all seriously, friend!