Results 1 to 10 of 10

Thread: need some critique

  1. #1
    PeterKlijn is offline Registered User Level 1 Gladiator: Andabatae
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Location
    Earth
    Posts
    8
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    need some critique

    Spend some time on this one, but before I go any further I could use some critique. Feel free to give advice on any aspect
    Attached Images Attached Images  

  2. #2
    enkithrice is offline Registered User Level 1 Gladiator: Andabatae
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    Posts
    34
    Thanks
    1
    Thanked 3 Times in 3 Posts
    I get the feeling that the people sitting and leaning on the railing ae kind of just floating there and holding the railing. Otherwise, this looks really cool!

  3. #3
    DPFX's Avatar
    DPFX is offline Amateur Phrenologist Level 5 Gladiator: Myrmillo
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Location
    Valencia, CA
    Posts
    304
    Thanks
    205
    Thanked 207 Times in 105 Posts
    I think you have some nice energy and interesting composition going on here. The anatomy of your main figure has some glaring issues, especially with his arms (for instance, the deltoid and bicep simply don't interact that way. I agree that the background figures look like they are floating. Also, the main figure sort've looks like he's carrying a dagger in his left hand, though I think we're actually seeing folds in his shirt. Nice colors, and a promising start.
    My portfolio

    Would you like to see my drawr-rings?

    Will design for food, provided that we all agree that money is edible.

  4. #4
    JOvictory's Avatar
    JOvictory is offline Registered User Level 2 Gladiator: Ordinarii
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    Posts
    73
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 5 Times in 5 Posts
    i like this idea, dont know if you planned on it, but it would do great to add some props that usually is on pirate sailboats, like this

  5. #5
    catface's Avatar
    catface is offline registered User Level 6 Gladiator: Provocator
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Posts
    573
    Thanks
    2
    Thanked 65 Times in 43 Posts
    none of your characters are overlapping any of your other characters. even the pirate's hat conforms with the foremost character's triceps. overlap is the most concrete way to convey depth in an image. The reason why one's depth perception is hurt when one loses an eye, overlap is no longer guaranteed. how important are these bystanders? perhaps a less defined crowd, would better convey the idea of a gathering.

    the knife of the running character is initially lost, as it is the same color and value as his shirt, I think it would be better placed in his right hand, to give it its own silhouette.

    as enkithrice mentioned, your characters appear to be floating. the two on the left of the image could be jumping, though why in unison? I can see that you want them holding onto the side of the ship, but you either need to bring the characters down to the same plane as the running man's planted foot, or raise the ground level.


    Tifa is looking pretty hot, perhaps tone that down, you don't want her cannon balls distracting from the main cannon ball. this is a common mistake among emerging artists
    Last edited by catface; January 12th, 2013 at 12:27 PM.

  6. The Following User Says Thank You to catface For This Useful Post:


  7. #6
    smuli is offline Registered User Level 9 Gladiator: Hoplomachi
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Location
    Finland
    Posts
    1,303
    Thanks
    22
    Thanked 318 Times in 242 Posts
    To me the arms of the guy on the foreground look way too short and thin. You could turn his back more to the viewer so that the arms would be foreshortened and you'd only have to make them thicker. I like the colors and dynamic angle!

  8. #7
    OmenSpirits's Avatar
    OmenSpirits is offline Commercial-Illustrator in-training, NOT an artist. Level 13 Gladiator: Retiarius
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Birth Place of the World, NYC
    Posts
    2,817
    Thanks
    2,618
    Thanked 1,039 Times in 678 Posts
    Why is he looking at us when the ball is his object of focus?
    "Everything must serve the idea. The means used to convey the idea should be the simplest and clear. Just what is required. No extra images. To me this is a universal principle of art. Saying as much as possible with a minimum of means."
    -John Huston, Director

  9. #8
    PeterKlijn is offline Registered User Level 1 Gladiator: Andabatae
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Location
    Earth
    Posts
    8
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    thanks for all the advice

    Worked on it a bit further. blocked out some more background characters, fixed some anatomy, etc. New critique is appreciated
    Attached Images Attached Images  

  10. #9
    Microbe's Avatar
    Microbe is offline Also goes by Vladimir Level 1 Gladiator: Andabatae
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    Belgrade, Serbia
    Posts
    14
    Thanks
    2
    Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts
    One thing though, to me the ball looks like a bowling ball and I don't think he'd want to hit a bowling ball, so I suggest making some sections in it so it looks hand made instead.
    Also his right forearm I think is short compared to the one in front of him.
    Love the composition, though

  11. #10
    Leoz's Avatar
    Leoz is offline Registered User Level 2 Gladiator: Ordinarii
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Posts
    79
    Thanks
    30
    Thanked 21 Times in 15 Posts
    Quote Originally Posted by Microbe View Post
    One thing though, to me the ball looks like a bowling ball and I don't think he'd want to hit a bowling ball, so I suggest making some sections in it so it looks hand made instead.
    Also his right forearm I think is short compared to the one in front of him.
    Love the composition, though
    I think it's supposed to be a cannonball
    He wouldn't want to hit that either though, but i think that's the point. It's some kind of "challenge".
    Last edited by Leoz; January 13th, 2013 at 07:25 AM.

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Similar Threads

  1. Billy's Sketchdump
    By WRappiii in forum SKETCHBOOKS
    Replies: 149
    Last Post: April 30th, 2013, 04:27 AM
  2. mark sketchbook-critique--critique
    By markey2d in forum SKETCHBOOKS
    Replies: 13
    Last Post: August 26th, 2009, 07:53 AM
  3. critique, critique, my kingdom for some critiques
    By whitepython in forum CRITIQUE CENTER & W.I.P's & PORTFOLIO REVIEWS
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: November 24th, 2008, 02:23 PM
  4. An unusual critique request - Please critique my artist app for iPhone
    By olliewagner in forum CRITIQUE CENTER & W.I.P's & PORTFOLIO REVIEWS
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: August 6th, 2008, 08:31 AM
  5. first post !critique critique!
    By Maudite in forum CRITIQUE CENTER & W.I.P's & PORTFOLIO REVIEWS
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: December 8th, 2006, 12:49 PM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •