What do you do when this happens to you??????!!!

**Rhoshone** · December 6th, 2012, 02:56 AM

This is not a introduction, this is a vivid evaluation of how I feel, and then question at the end.

I am a 25year old Male, As long as I can remember I have been fascinated with drawing, and creating things from my mind, Even as a kid I always thought I was a alien because the way I observed and perceived things, I thought my parents adopted me and didn't want to tell me.
(These were my true adolescent thoughts.)

As a adult, Art has always been a part of my life in every way. I have always tried to be more like the normal everyday citizen, work a 9-5, and live a normal life(blend in). I could never get away from my artistic ability, and analytic mind. I mean very observational, as in I can read facial expressions and actions and know what people feel without even talking to them..I can walk into a bar know how many lights there are, cross beams, how many females, males, it goes on and on.

As a adult I misused this ability for Sociopathic tendencies. I can think and use my mind at a very high rate and replay vivid scenarios in my head and make out the most logical one to go towards to get what I need or want. I can control situations and conversations without effort, any age, or race.

I am just recently turning my bad habitual ways into positive vibes and using it for good intentions because I was starting to get personality detachment from myself and forgot who I am. Once I did that my inner artist started speaking out to me again strongly. So I have been listening for once and now I actually want to get way better, I am not very good right now, but I learn in hyper speed

I guess my art related question is..

What do you do when your art consumes you...

I can't eat, or sleep.

If I have a piece in process I can't rest until it's done, But when it's done, I am not happy, and I have to re-draw it, and then when I re-draw it I want to re-draw it again differently, angles, compositions, etc. etc. I am never satisfied...and it is driving me insane, literally...

I need advice and wondering if there are any like minded individuals that are cooping with the same thing.

P.S. No I don't take medication. It's not my belief. I believe in self healing.

I meditate daily.

Thank you, Peace and Love

-Rhoshone

**Grosby** · December 6th, 2012, 04:38 AM

I read this and I say you sound like a normal person who's desperate to be 'special' and different from other people, clutching at all sorts of nonsense to try to distinguish yourself from others. First as a child you try to convince yourself that you're literally not of this world and then as an adult you're pointing to preposterously simple things as though they were super powers. You can tell how someone's feeling without them opening their mouth and saying 'I am sad' and you have the ability to count how many people and other particulars in a bar? Wow... Everything you describe, from the ability to control conversations to envisioning possible life scenarios in your head, is 100% normal - none of that is extraordinary. It's like you think you're the only person in the world who can lift a feather.

In my opinion that you're so set on being 'unique' is where your real problems begin. Conceit, I think that's what they call it... I'd address that first. After that, everything you describe is completely normal for anyone wanting to get better at something. You're learning, you're not able to produce work that satisfies, and so you try again, that's how anyone improves. What else are you expecting? The only unusual thing here is you say you're not resting. Have some self-discipline, take breaks and get the appropriate rest.

**Maidith** · December 6th, 2012, 04:42 AM

This is normal. Hey, you're in a community of artists.

(Except for the "can't eat, can't sleep" part. Eventually you might realize the art thing becomes easier if you actually take care of your body's needs so they don't get into the way of productivity)

**Rhoshone** · December 6th, 2012, 04:52 AM

Originally Posted by Grosby

I read this and I say you sound like a normal person who's desperate to be 'special' and different from other people, clutching at all sorts of nonsense to try to distinguish yourself from others. First as a child you try to convince yourself that you're literally not of this world and then as an adult you're pointing to preposterously simple things as though they were super powers. You can tell how someone's feeling without them opening their mouth and saying 'I am sad' and you have the ability to count how many people and other particulars in a bar? Wow... Everything you describe, from the ability to control conversations to envisioning possible life scenarios in your head, is 100% normal - none of that is extraordinary. It's like you think you're the only person in the world who can lift a feather.

In my opinion that you're so set on being 'unique' is where your real problems begin. Conceit, I think that's what they call it... I'd address that first. After that, everything you describe is completely normal for anyone wanting to get better at something. You're learning, you're not able to produce work that satisfies, and so you try again, that's how anyone improves. What else are you expecting? The only unusual thing here is you say you're not resting. Have some self-discipline, take breaks and get the appropriate rest.

Exactly what I wanted to hear. I appreciate your honesty Grosby.

I am not saying I have superpowers though, I am simply saying I am more observational now and that I can appreciate more then the normal everyday person who overlooks the world around them. I am just explaining the I have broken out of simplistic living and indulging in the life around me, that I understand. I use to be selfish, and only think about me, me, me. Now I am trying to open my mind more and actually learn.

Yes, Everyone has the same alternative abilities, But I don't understand why everyone don't utilize and grow as a individual..? Why don't more people seek knowledge?

To me, the things I see around me are not simple. They are astonishing.

I have had a very traumatic child hood, and I am just finally learning and living my life. I hope I am not coming across as a douche.

Everyone is unique in my humble opinion.

Another question for you Grosby,

is being Conceit bad though? Could it be my survival mechanism?

Thank You.

Originally Posted by Maidith

This is normal. Hey, you're in a community of artists.

(Except for the "can't eat, can't sleep" part. Eventually you might realize the art thing becomes easier if you actually take care of your body's needs so they don't get into the way of productivity)

Thank you.

**Grosby** · December 6th, 2012, 05:07 AM

Heh, I feel a little bad for being blunt and somewhat mean now. I don't really know anything about you, to be clear. All I was going by was just what you wrote and I was perhaps also drawing on a certain type of person I've met here and there that rubs me the wrong way. Likely I am the one being the 'douche.' The answer to that we'll perhaps have when a few other people respond, see what they make of your question...

EDIT:

Originally Posted by Rhoshone

Another question for you Grosby,

is being Conceit bad though? Could it be my survival mechanism?

Yes, I think definitely it is bad when it comes to personality. It's delusion. As a survival mechanism it perhaps helps though, boosts your self-esteem and whatnot in a false way but still probably helpful. I don't know if I'd really say you're conceited though but going by your post you do suggest to me a kind of self-obsession and desire to be put yourself above others.

**nofu** · December 6th, 2012, 05:12 AM

It's hard to say how much others notice or overlook the simple things they see, even if two people sat down and discussed it it would be hard to determine who sees more, who's more aware. So could it be that you are actually not aware of how most are not quite that dull about their surroundings and people they meet as you think. Your descriptions seem mostly self-flattery that are trying to pass as humbleness.

But regardless, wearing oneself out trying to improve, is pretty counterproductive in the long run. You are gonna get a lot better mileage if you work fresh.

**Star Eater** · December 6th, 2012, 05:20 AM

I really hate these kinds of threads.

**Rhoshone** · December 6th, 2012, 05:23 AM

Originally Posted by Grosby

Heh, I feel a little bad for being blunt and somewhat mean now. I don't really know anything about you, to be clear. All I was going by was just what you wrote and I was perhaps also drawing on a certain type of person I've met here and there that rubs me the wrong way. Likely I am the one being the 'douche.' The answer to that we'll perhaps have when a few other people respond, see what they make of your question...

EDIT:

Yes, I think definitely it is bad when it comes to personality. It's delusion. As a survival mechanism it perhaps helps though, boosts your self-esteem and whatnot in a false way but still probably helpful. I don't know if I'd really say you're conceited though but going by your post you do suggest to me a kind of self-obsession and desire to be put yourself above others.

I completely agree with you Grosby, I wanted to change, but I didn't understand what I was or why, and how to change it. I am trying my hardest to fix this in my life, but now that you have told me what I needed to hear, I can meditate on this, and fix it. I really appreciate your comment Grosby, I don't think you were mean I all. I am a adult and can accept your comment as more growth for me as a individual. You may have just saved my life..Seriously.

Originally Posted by nofu

It's hard to say how much others notice or overlook the simple things they see, even if two people sat down and discussed it it would be hard to determine who sees more, who's more aware. So could it be that you are actually not aware of how most are not quite that dull about their surroundings and people they meet as you think. Your descriptions seems mostly self-flattery that are trying to pass as humbleness.

But regardless, wearing oneself out trying to improve, is pretty counterproductive in the long run. You are gonna get a lot better mileage if you work fresh.

Exactly True.

Like I understand people are a certain way, but then I act that way anyways. I need to change this.

As you said it's counterproductive, and I never really improve.

Which is actually easy for me to do.

I think Grosby did me great justice. I have my answer and now I can effectively change.

**Kiera** · December 6th, 2012, 06:53 AM

You meditate. Observe what caused you to make this thread.
Do you want someone to approve that because you have some ability that makes you special, art will be easier for you/ you will have success/you should change something in your life?
Do you believe in talent?

(The philosophy of meditation and "fixing yourself" don't go well together btw. It's easy to crash in meditation if you aim for the goal of self-improvement. Observe the mechanisms of yourself wanting to change you instead.)

**Rhoshone** · December 6th, 2012, 07:14 AM

Originally Posted by Kiera

You meditate. Observe what caused you to make this thread.
Do you want someone to approve that because you have some ability that makes you special, art will be easier for you/ you will have success/you should change something in your life?
Do you believe in talent?

(The philosophy of meditation and "fixing yourself" don't go well together btw. It's easy to crash in meditation if you aim for the goal of self-improvement. Observe the mechanisms of yourself wanting to change you instead.)

Hey Kiera,

Very good observation.

But like I said, I am trying my best to change.

Can't do it overnight.

I acknowledge what he said, and will acknowledge my conceited personality built from past experiences from now on.

And notice it, then stop it when it starts to emerge.

Each day is more and more improvement on myself.

Are those rhetorical questions?

Maybe I think of meditation in the wrong sense. I don't know what is what anymore.

All I know is I am trying to change.

No I don't think I am special.

**Great Distance** · December 6th, 2012, 08:32 AM

Originally Posted by Grosby

I read this and I say you sound like a normal person who's desperate to be 'special' and different from other people, clutching at all sorts of nonsense to try to distinguish yourself from others. First as a child you try to convince yourself that you're literally not of this world and then as an adult you're pointing to preposterously simple things as though they were super powers. You can tell how someone's feeling without them opening their mouth and saying 'I am sad' and you have the ability to count how many people and other particulars in a bar? Wow... Everything you describe, from the ability to control conversations to envisioning possible life scenarios in your head, is 100% normal - none of that is extraordinary. It's like you think you're the only person in the world who can lift a feather.

In my opinion that you're so set on being 'unique' is where your real problems begin. Conceit, I think that's what they call it... I'd address that first. After that, everything you describe is completely normal for anyone wanting to get better at something. You're learning, you're not able to produce work that satisfies, and so you try again, that's how anyone improves. What else are you expecting? The only unusual thing here is you say you're not resting. Have some self-discipline, take breaks and get the appropriate rest.

Hehe, sounds like a description of who I used to be. All I can say is that I'm a lot happier now that I have talked to and can actually relate to other people. Yep, I'm not special, and that's actually a good thing.

**Januz** · December 6th, 2012, 10:00 AM

Less talking, more doing. Start an SB today!
You can't burn yourself out forever, eventually you will crash and learn how to balance life. Figure out what you want to study head-smash it.