This is not a introduction, this is a vivid evaluation of how I feel, and then question at the end.
I am a 25year old Male, As long as I can remember I have been fascinated with drawing, and creating things from my mind, Even as a kid I always thought I was a alien because the way I observed and perceived things, I thought my parents adopted me and didn't want to tell me.
(These were my true adolescent thoughts.)
As a adult, Art has always been a part of my life in every way. I have always tried to be more like the normal everyday citizen, work a 9-5, and live a normal life(blend in). I could never get away from my artistic ability, and analytic mind. I mean very observational, as in I can read facial expressions and actions and know what people feel without even talking to them..I can walk into a bar know how many lights there are, cross beams, how many females, males, it goes on and on.
As a adult I misused this ability for Sociopathic tendencies. I can think and use my mind at a very high rate and replay vivid scenarios in my head and make out the most logical one to go towards to get what I need or want. I can control situations and conversations without effort, any age, or race.
I am just recently turning my bad habitual ways into positive vibes and using it for good intentions because I was starting to get personality detachment from myself and forgot who I am. Once I did that my inner artist started speaking out to me again strongly. So I have been listening for once and now I actually want to get way better, I am not very good right now, but I learn in hyper speed
I guess my art related question is..
What do you do when your art consumes you...
I can't eat, or sleep.
If I have a piece in process I can't rest until it's done, But when it's done, I am not happy, and I have to re-draw it, and then when I re-draw it I want to re-draw it again differently, angles, compositions, etc. etc. I am never satisfied...and it is driving me insane, literally...
I need advice and wondering if there are any like minded individuals that are cooping with the same thing.
P.S. No I don't take medication. It's not my belief. I believe in self healing.
I meditate daily.
Thank you, Peace and Love