painting my second portrait, please help

[traumgerine]

so this is what i'm working on right now. I can't seem to be able to bring life into her pasty complexion. The reason why I didnt put bolder colors into her skin is because I wanted the subject to kind of blend into the background and make the painting kind of foggy overall, which made me use saturated colors, but now it looks muddy and hideous.
not to mention I am completely lost on the technicalities of painting hair. I want to make the hair very simple and impressionistic, while capturing a upwards motion.

[mimer]

To me, it seems odd that while her face is turned up rather dramatically, her jaw seems to face us head-on. id expect her jaw to be turned up similarly.

I like the start on the hair, youre treating it as big shapes rather than being finnicky with individual strands. The light part right above her head looks a bit odd though.

I absolutely suck at colour so I wont try to give much constructive thoughts on that. Perhaps it's the jaw again? it ought to be upturned enough to warrant a bit of a highlight too instead of the uniform blueish tint you have at the moment?

[Stoat]

Yeah, I'm not a color person either. I asked you this in your first thread, and I'm too lazy to go look for the answer -- is this a self portrait? If so, you're picking an hellaciously difficult angle: straight on, looking up.

If so, cut yourself some slack. Do what every great (and not-so-great) artist has done from time immemorial: get a mirror, a strong light source and draw your face in a three-quarter view. Like so.

You'll learn ever so much more than trying fancy angles and having to fill in bits with your imagination.

[traumgerine]

Thank you for the comments. Stoat- Nope, this isn't a self portrait and neither was the last one.. I guess I should have started with simpler self-portraits. But seeing that I've gotten this far I just want to finish it off decently. I want to at least get the colors/form/overall feel right on this one even if the anatomy and lighting are a bit off.

[Stoat]

Sorry, I thought both faces looked generally like your avatar.

Well, it's good to start with reference. From life is best. Self portraits are right there for the taking. But any kind of reference is better than working entirely from imagination, at least at the beginning. And that's an exceptionally hard pose.

[arenhaus]

Start "smaller". Try to make a version in black and white, to figure out the lighting without color being in your way, for example. It is easier to solve painting problems in sketches, one by one, than trying to paint straight away.

Nearly all things that are wrong with this picture are, in the end, due to the lack of awareness of form. So build a structural base for it, before painting.

[Spivak000]

Traumgurine,

I am wondering if the reference you are using is not showing certain details that could help the painting. Sometimes proportions and anatomical details can be skewed in certain ways. I brought out a few areas in a paintover just to give an idea. In the neck I delineated the sternocleidomastoid and added some shading in the pit. Then I widened the shoulder as I thought they were a bit too thin (or the head too wide). Since you said you were going for a foggier look, I softed some cast shadows near the eyes and nose. Maybe you would want to blur or soften the outer areas of the hair to make it appear to merge into the background. Also, I lowered the lips just a bit and raised the bottom of the chin up just a smidgeon. They seem to look a bit better that way. These may not be changes that you want, but I am just trying to give you an idea of how you can play with it. For the colors, try using some slightly different blues, purples, oranges, and perhaps a hint of yellow to see where that takes the piece. Happy Painting!