WIP - Fear is the mind-killer

[Sady]

This will be mostly a WIP thread but feel free to comment and criticize anything.

The scene is from Frank Herbert´s Dune...

I must not wait like a smuggler - impatient and jittering, he reminded himself. I must be part of the desert.

Right now I'm not sure about the sandworm´s mouth. It is described in the book as being circular, with a row of crystalline teeth on the rim. But the pointy appendages with double-mouths look so much cooler. And even make more sense to me.

The Fremen have secretly mastered a way to ride sandworms across the desert. First, a worm is lured by the vibrations of a thumper device. When it surfaces, the lead worm-rider runs alongside it an snares one of its ring-segments with a special "maker hook". The hook is used to pry open the segment, exposing the soft inner tissue to the abrasive sand. To avoid irritation, the worm will rotate its body so that the exposed flesh faces upwards, carrying the rider with it. Other Fremen may then plant additional hooks for steering, or act as "beaters", hitting the worm's tail to make it increase speed. A worm can be ridden for several hundred miles and for about half of a day, at which point it will become exhausted and sit on the open desert until the hooks are released, whereupon they will burrow back down to rest. The worm-riding ritual is used as a coming-of-age ritual among the Fremen.

I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain.

[Renzowolf]

Make your foreground character smaller and make your monster more detailed, with more contrast. Right now you have two figures competing for the main focus, it would be better if you make one more important that the other. For instance, is the story in the painting about a warrior who is going off to fight the monster; or is it about a ancient beast looking at a small figure drawing closer. Also, get it some more interesting lighting, with some strong shadows and all. That is my advise at least.

[Velocity Kendall]

Looking good! this is by Peleng, it might help more than my confusing wordage!

[Candra H]

I loved Dune, and really like the idea of this, but I don't think you're going into it enough.

I think it might work better if you turn the rider to a more side-on view and have him running along at the base of the worm, hooks raised ready to plunge them in. It'd be much more dynamic and full of tension that way. To me anyway.

Also second what others have said about the difference in scale between the worm and the rider. Dwarf him, even though he's in the foreground.

Anyway, just some thoughts and suggestions. I hope they help a little, and good luck! I'll be watching to see how this one turns out.

P.S. I also think the way they did the worms in the film, with pointed mouths that open in flaps similar to yours, is much more believable than the books, so I'm in full support of your choice there.

[Sady]

Alright, everyone prefers the figure smaller.

Made some other changes trying to make the scene more dynamic, also detailed the worm and the sand a bit more.

Candra H, showing the rider ready to strike would be more dynamic yea, but I want to illustrate the part where he's waiting still for the right moment, the part where he remembers the litany against fear. I did make other changes trying to make it more dynamic though. Thanks!

Velocity Kendall, that painting is awesome! I'll try to incorporate something from it.

It's going slowly now because Dark Souls happened.

EDIT: Direct sunlight or no direct sunlight? Initially I wanted the sun directly behind the worm so that the guy would be in its shadow, but it wasn't really giving this impression very well.

[Sady]

Detailed the stillsuit a bit.

[L!nK]

Seem very good so far! The compostition seem to depict very well the idea of courage in front of a huge challenge.
My only observation would be about the sky. Wouldn't help the composition to paint some clouds or more dust in the air? With a warm color, it could create a more "oppressive" atmosphere...

[Sady]

L!nK, thanks man! I can't really paint clouds in the sky without going directly against the setting. It's a desert planet with few, seasonal small clouds, on the poles. But indeed the atmosphere seemed too peaceful and a little cold even, I tried to fix that with a palette change. I hope that works.

EDIT: I was looking at some desert pictures and my desert looks ridiculous. I will repaint all that ground.

[Velocity Kendall]

http://youtu.be/6QFwo57WKwg

wait till the end, youll see why.

[Sady]

Velocity Kendall, hell yea. I wish I could make a scene like that. I'm trying.

llarenasjay, I'm not sure if you tried to show me something or if you're just a bot. I don't see anything anyway.

Repainted the ground, hope it looks more like an expansive desert now.

[Sady]

Well, I guess it´s finished.

[mRomano]

You really need something in the horizon to break up the sky, if youre unwilling to do clouds, maybe mountains. Clouds can give you a chance to give a sense of scale, too. Because of the perspective you chose (which is damn good!) I cant tell if the worm is 20 feet tall, or some colossal titan like being. You need to give us something to reference to so that we see the height. Birds? Mountains?

Clouds are cool because they will get rid of the enormous amounts of pale blue canvas that you have open. Two birds with one stone. All that space of purely one color hurts the image a lot.

[L!nK]

mRomano:
Because of the setting of Arrakis of the Dune series, he can't use clouds.

Sady:
I was wondering if it can't be on the sunset, with a darker sky. Or maybe put a sand storm approaching in the horizon. Researching some dune inspired art, there's a lot of different skies, with different colors... Ok, I didn't read the book, so I'll stop arguing about it...

[Sady]

mRomano, L!nK, I just found something that I had completely forgot...

"Arrakis had three natural moons, one was destroyed by impact from an on-rushing asteroid/comet..."

I'll be back.

EDIT: Here. It doesn´t help at all to convey scale, but at least it breaks the monotony of the sky, and it looks more alien now, this is important.

[Velocity Kendall]

hail shai hulud

nicely done i think. nice design on the still suit and maker hooks. wrist straps? looks like hes about to get smushed though, better hope someones set a thumper.

walk without rhythm and you wont attract the worm.

[L!nK]

Sady, I think this might help you. I think the problem is in the ground. There's a shadow that makes confusing to understand the distance beetween the character and the worm. I make a rough correction here, making the firts plane more distinguishable than the second. Adding light to the dunes on the right would make it blend with the second plane, increasing the distance.

What do you think?

[Sady]

L!nK, I tried that before but the bright spot there seemed to break the composition, for me. I´m not sure though but ultimately I decided to keep the original composition. Thanks!

[Candra H]

Candra H, showing the rider ready to strike would be more dynamic yea, but I want to illustrate the part where he's waiting still for the right moment, the part where he remembers the litany against fear.

You're absolutely right - I stand corrected.

Glad you stuck to your guns on the composition. It really works, but I'd watch out for the ground plane. By putting in those dunes, you've distorted the distance and perspective and now the worm and the guy both look way oversized. Maybe look at some refs of people walking on dunes and see the scale. Because your dunes look too small in some places and too big in others.