Could use some wise words

[Pezz]

Can't you take a sabbatical and get yourself sorted once and all? You sound like you're getting pulled in all directions when you need to heal.

I was thinking about it but I ultimately decided against it. School is the best thing in my life right now - I went even crazier this summer without that feeling of purpose. A great portion of my social life is tied up in this school and the pressure itself is helping me coax the problem out - I'm exceptionally good at concealment otherwise. If I quit I will consider myself a failure. It would be the third time I quit school.

I am taking everything at a more relaxed pace right now even though I know this school is about learning to manage deadlines. I'm also taking my therapy days off as it takes a lot out of me. Luckily the notes count to excuse my absences.

EDIT: Actually if I quit school I lose my loans and financial aid and therefore my apartment.

And I think al might be onto something. While perceived as depression/mania, I think honestly I go through cycles of self punishment. I binge eat to make myself fat so I have logical reasons to make myself feel ashamed.

[Pezz]

I aspire to greatness but all I can seem to produce is disappointment and stagnation.

All it took today was a $20 jump in my electrical bill. Shit on a shit pile. Now I've just been curled into a ball for a while.

[alesoun]

Hell, Pezz, that's perfectly natural when money's tight. Now go make yourself some hot chocolate and marshmallows. You're feeling low, but you'll get past this; you know you will.

[Conniekat8]

I'm a big proponent of therapy and treatment if any is needed... for me those two have been a life-saver, literally.

Yes, the process can be painful, but things to get better. If it's too painful that it makes it impossible to get through the therapy, there are options to get come very mild medication, just to take the wort edge off, so you can get through it.

A little bit like taking an advil, when you have a bad headache.

Noways there is a lot less stigma about these things too (compared to 25 years ago when I first started experiencing crap, and thought for a long time, I just have to hide it and suffer through it... turns out I just made things a lot more miserable for a long time.) Lot of things are very treatable, so that you don't end up having to worry about being a risk for potential employers (as long as you are taking good care of yourself)

Of course, different conditions work a bit different, so YMMV... In my case, they experimented with several tentative diagnosis till they find something that works. Seemed like depression or PTSD for a while, but it turns out I was much more responsive to anxiety specific treatments.

*sending you big hugz*

[mosaicideas]

Art can be therapy but what happens when it is the stresser? I know exactly how you feel. Some times this means you need a break. Or maybe this will help.

"Surely there is something in the unruffled calm of nature that overawes our little anxieties and doubts; the sight of the deep-blue sky and the clustering stars above seems to impart a quiet to the mind."
-Jonathan Edwards