must keep hands moving.

**spiritvanished** · June 6th, 2011, 07:55 PM

Im trying to do a piece with everything, environment, story, movement.
essentially, guy on right istvan is smuggling girl on left ashita out of a town that wants to use her as a weapon.
he is already a weapon, but retains some human characteristics, he wants to protect her, because they fall in love and all that. but as they are leaving, he's confronted by his peers.
one of them being his sister asami
picture of her here ----> http://i224.photobucket.com/albums/d...c/61e1bc22.png
so you can also get an idea of what his suit will be like, whole she's a nurse, he's a surgeon so i wanted to incorporate his scalpel, he can manipulate it to be larger, but i figured for sake of composition, it should be compact, plus he could never really hurt his sister.

she's a bit inoocent at this point, but they do get caught and she becomes tougher in the future
--->http://i224.photobucket.com/albums/d...c/ea71238a.png

so this picture is like a flashback.

**LoopyWillow** · June 6th, 2011, 08:48 PM

Some things to consider:

- First of all, why is the girl naked? Seems a bit strange to me that in the process of smuggling her out of the city, she didn't have time to throw something on.

- Also, her lower body is completely messed up. The lower body is way too long, and despite the fact that her upper body is turned away from us, her butt is in a weird profile angle. You need to shorten that up, and turn the butt towards us.

- The guy's neck is way too long.

- There is some weird box around the background where the buildings are... I'm not sure what that is...

- Is the guy crying or is that some sort of scar?

- I'm assuming those are wings coming out of the girl's back, first of all, why does she have wings, and secondly, try and make them look more like actual wings and not those weird anime wings.

- His eye brows shouldn't be that far arched... look at your own eyebrows and you'll notice that's impossible to mimic.

That is all.

**wunts** · June 6th, 2011, 11:39 PM

i dunno but i like the girl, shes really buttoxed hugely, but some guys like that

like me for example. I dunno if this is good advice, but worry less about proportion and more about whats going to make the picture cook, or youll get nowhere, i really think the guys neck that long is kinda stylish and might suit the picture?

as it is, as far as realisticish anime goes, i like it, actually, its got a good activity to it.

**Quigleyer** · June 7th, 2011, 02:27 AM

In all honesty I agree that proportions are large issue.

Yes his neck is long, yes his upper arm seems huge, but the part that gets me the most is the comparison of HER upper arm and HIS. By your own proportional rules he's going to be like twice her size, or she's got a really short and stubby arm. Even for girls with a big backside you're stretching that one.

I'm not bothered much by the faces, at least what you have in there. His hand does bother me a lot and seems to indicate that the rest of the iffy issues are actually problems and not stylistic choices.

**spiritvanished** · June 7th, 2011, 09:16 PM

ill try to update soon, to help clarify. haha, the hand was last minute.
i dont have internet at home so i get on about twice a week, and sometimes just have ideas an hour before library time. the butt is facing this way, i just got tired of dealing with her skin and moved on to other parts. ahaha. i hadnt really thought about whether i wanted to do animeish wings or not, i havent touched them much from the color blocking.
and the nudity, i wanted her to be seen as a human experiment. i was considering giving her a patients robe.
and i just love the eyebrow so muchh. i almost never draw guys so the male anatomy is what im studying now. :/ hopefully i can fix it for next time.
plus im hugely inspired by alien and hyung tae kim, and wanted alot of motion, maybe less perfection when it comes to anatomy. ahh c:

**vineris** · June 7th, 2011, 10:18 PM

If I were in a confrontation and I was going to defend someone, the first thing I'd do is shove them behind me and untangle myself. Unless he's a totally useless git as a fighter he'd know that he has no manoeuvering room with someone clinging to him like a big-eyed squid. Right now he's basically using her as a shield which is very practical but hardly romantic.

I'd pull the camera out further so you could see all of him and put him in a ready-for-action pose with the girl behind him.