Dune Painting needs that extra something...

[chipsandsalsa]

But I dont know what it is...

Hey guys Im relatively new to digital painting and though I like where this painting has gone so far, I know it needs some extra oomph. I've been looking at a lot of Sparth and Craig Mullins' paintings and I really admire how their textural almost abstract paintings still convey a very convincing sense of light and form. I'd like to bring that out in this piece. Any advice, critiques, comments?

THANKS !

[Flake]

Right now I see two people in robes looking at something that casts a shadow, boring.

Since the subject is "Dune" might that cast shadow be from a worm and would it not look cooler if we maybe flipped the viewpoint to behind the figures?

/2p worth

[chipsandsalsa]

true, i was experimenting with cropping in on the piece and i thought that might give it some more visual drama. i guess i set myself up for failure (haha) the idea is that there are people in the shadows that they can hear but not see, so the large dark shape of the rocks was meant to compress them into the corner and give that feeling ...

[SoufMeng]

I for one disagree with Flake, the narrative effect that you were going for is definitely working for me.

Honestly if this wasn't in the critique forum, it wouldn't occur to me to crit it, it looks good to me but here's some thoughts.

For realism, yeah perhaps the cast shadow of the rocks on the sand is a little too dark. You'd expect the sand to contrast with the rocks in the shadow the same way it does in the light. But a lighter cast shadow on the sand will diminish the effect you were talking about a little, your call.

Now that you have the overall value composition of the piece, you might want to compose the rest as well; texture, edges, perhaps add some gradients in there (look up ambient occlusion). Use reference and be thoughtful as you add details or refine the edges, think about what it is you're painting (e.g cast shadow of the rocks on the ground should have softer edges than that of the characters bc of distance).

Looking at your piece again, it has this nice semi-realistic cartooney feel to it, is that what you want to get rid of, you're aiming for pure "realism" here?

[Swamp Thing]

Why are those figures cut off at where the knees start?

[chipsandsalsa]

Thanks for the constructive critique Soufiane, by the way I really like the sense of adventure the piece on the homepage of your website inspires, its what I'm trying to do here, so it's great to see you know what you are talking about!

You brought up some things I only recently started to think about. I like what you said about composing the rest of the piece, really this is a pretty literal interpretation of my value pattern, I think I got too attached and didn't want to stray from it. I was thinking about cutting into the rock shapes, making an interesting silhouette so peoples eyes go there and search the crevices, like the two characters might.

To give even a bit more mystery I was thinking of turning their faces towards lower left corner and make use of some implied line, and yeah I see what the Swamp Thing is saying they may be a little too foreshortened.

[chipsandsalsa]

Here are some of the tonal pattern sketches I did before deciding on the right sketch out of the two that are starred. I really liked the drama it created with the simple shapes.