Well, no art in this post -sorry but please do read ahead!
After along time of struggling, it is natural for someone to question there motives, and perhaps wonder if it all is worth it.
No, im not quitting- not yet. And please dont say that i should just keep going, because im afraid- thats just not how it works.
This world costs money to live in, and people need money to keep friends, relationships and ALIVE.
I guess ill get to the point.
As u may notice, i set alot of plans, none of which perhaps reach their completion station, i would never call these failures, but they are UNNECESSARY and very stressful.
Reaching goals is a big part of motivation, and that is what i enjoy, to know i can do the job. when i want, because i want to.
I am learning alot at another course i am doing, about being positive about life, but there's some things to me that step beyond the point of reason- and i guess this is just one of few things that is true.
I will be commencing a new, and final plan- if successful, i will be happy, very happy in fact.
I will continue to pursue my art goal, knowing that i have at least some discipline to continue. Call it crazy, but if i DO NOT reach my goal.
Ill quit, not permanently. but ill take a long holiday, maybe a change of career, focus on 3D or something. Hell, maybe ill just sit and play games for a month until i am serious about this.
Its alot of pressure i know, but i feel this pressure each day with or without such threats being made, because lets face it- if ur not good enough in the industry, you wont get anything.
if u have nothing, u get nothing, and people want nothing to do with someone who does NOTHING. Cruel but true.
Thankfully i do have a loving girlfriend who loves me for who i am, but i need to love myself a little bit more too, otherwise the negative thoughts will seep out onto others.
This is not to say i am not happy with life, because i am. i love being me most of the time, and i just want to make a better ME so i can make others happy, including myself.
and show the world that mr James Thomas actually means business.
..And loves his art ..(and girlfriends..kittens..wow thats a short list!) haha!
Hopefully ill see u all on the other Side, I will try to post here regularly for those who are interested in seeing me complete this goal. im not going to promise each day, but i will try my best.
The main goal is what counts.
I guess i should write what it is.
It is a 5 week (potentially 6) week period between now and university, to make sure i cover all the basics that i will need, and build an all rounded portfolio.
This allows my portfolio to have some backbone to it, so that i may specialize during the year into the more desires topics.
I will be completing 5-6 main topics to do with conceptual art, and the games/movie industry. at the end of each 3-4 day segment, i will be self assessing and re-evaluating my skills, and continue to learn from there.
as i move from topic to topic, i may or may not revisit the other skill sets, though given the close proximity of study, i doubt i will forget any,
and a lot of topics will actually mix-and mash together (such as creature design, and environmental Design).
I WILL be accepting ALL advice from anyone, big or small about great tutorials, links, brushes, advice, well wishing, anything. Hell, id even take a friend.
Thanks to all who have given me support this far, but now i journey the dark, rocky road to heaven. at least, my heaven.