XTIN: The Dragon's Dreamworld (comic)

[Jack the R]

I ran the first issue in the Critique Center, got some useful comments about the art, but they've fallen off lately. So I'm going to see if the second issue can hang in Finally Finished



I'm planning to use this as the GN cover. It's simple but it tells the story well.

I'd like to get out of painting but I've got to do it for the covers. If you guys can help me make them better, especially make the colors and tones better, I'll do my best to fix them.

Here's the issue 2 cover -



Some people don't like nudity but it doesn't bother me much.





I dig line art but I'm way to slow at it. I've got DC's book on drawing digital comics coming. It may help but I'm afraid it's going to be basic stuff for beginners.

I'm not sure where the time is going. It feels like I'm flying along but when I look at the clock the time is gone gone gone.

If you're interested in seeing the first issue (note that I'm not posting the art in FF), I've got a webcomic at XTIN.NET. If you like it, please vote for me. But, before you click, this isn't for everyone. I've got fans who like it and understand it. I'm going to keep writing for them. If you think I'm evil, I'll just have to show you my doggies. Dogs love me, nyah

[Blitz]

Nice drawings.

First thing that stood out to me though was everyone has their mouth open like they are screaming.

Now its not a bad thing as I see to many times where people draw a bunch of different characters and they all have the same closed mouth expression.
But that just stuck out to me, everyone is yelling haha. A lot of open mouths.

But nicely drawn.

[Velocity Kendall]

Yeah a lot of white tongues poking out. Great vehicle deisgn though...

[Jack the R]

Yeah, I need a bigger library of expressions for people being beaten and tortured. Or I could do an intermission of happy furries.

[Blitz]

Its still nicely done, and better than a bunch of closed mouthed people. haha

But it was just a double take, after I finished looking through them I just thought, wait, was everyone yelling.

Id love to see the happy furries intermission though.

Keep it up. Looks good.

[Jack the R]

Well there are scenes where people aren't yelling or screaming. But not for long

[Blitz]

Haha,
This is the comic where characters have limited time of not being in complete agony or terror

"Oh good, here comes my two panels of rest"

"Ok, back to the pain. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhrrrrrgggggg"

[Jack the R]

They did have 3,888,000 years of peaceful meditation, which might make an interesting comic for a very narrow audience.

[Jack the R]

Please vote for me at TopWebComics (click here).

[Ccs]

Everyone yelling and having their mouths open like that makes me thing of Rob Liefeld's work, which isn't really in style anymore and was always technically incorrect. Might wanna shy away from that.

The leg on the left in the issue 2 cover is way too thin or at least looks unnatural as it nears the knee. Remember you're working with foreshortening so it should get bigger as it gets toward the viewer.
Something looks off with the arm of the man whipping in the first panel of the first page. Either the foreshortening is off or the arm is too beefy near the shoulder or the arm itself is too short.
Also you need some better establishing shots. How about an overhead or a large spread page to show where these people are? At the moment the setting is really vague.

[Jack the R]

Everyone yelling and having their mouths open like that makes me thing of Rob Liefeld's work, which isn't really in style anymore and was always technically incorrect. Might wanna shy away from that.

I've never looked closely at Liefeld's work, but I gather the problem with Liefeld is more like - going into battle, grimace. Getting a new puppy, grimace. Going out on a hot date, grimace. When my characters aren't screaming, they make other expressions.

I don't know how Liefeld's doing these days, but with all the tough guy rappers grimacing up album covers it's hard to believe there's no market for Liefeld's art.

I'll look at the anatomical details when I get the page I'm working on finished.

[snatti]

that cover is something that would grabb my attention in the comic book store, as for the comic art it self it's looks really nice to me,but personal i do prefer colours but that is just an personal opinion

[Maginnis]

I looked at the first issue and have to say you've got yourself a fully realized world all your own. It's got everything it needs and never strays from it's core even when the style changes from painted to inks. This could easily be in an issue of Heavy Metal. Keep it up for sure we need more comics like this!

[PaintMyBrain]

Hey m8! awesome work! I love your style. I can just tell you this, I wanna draw like this in the future! If I could buy your comic in a store here around I would! send me a copy will ya?

[Jack the R]

Oh man I was dreading the next comments since I didn't slam Liefeld as hard as would normally be expected on an art forum . . .

snatti - I'd preferred to have painted the whole thing but it takes me too long and still sucks.

If enough people like XTIN maybe I can have it colored.

Maginnis - I checked out Heavy Metal a while back and IIRC they prefer to work with European artists.

I'll publish on the web and see what happens.

PaintMyBrain - It took a couple years of practice to get to where I felt like my line art was good. Maybe you can do it faster with the help of CA.

Keep an eye on this thread - I'm reworking issue 1 a bit. When it's ready I'll publish through Lulu.com.

[PaintMyBrain]

I can imagine you have worked hard to get to where you are! Cool and ofc Ill keep looking here. love you work man.

[Jack the R]

Got sidetracked by the flu for a few days. There's just no working when two minutes out of three is spent clearing out the nose again or coughing crap up again. Glad it's over.

[Jack the R]

XTIN is progressing well on TopWebComics - currently #82 in scifi and 370 overall. It's about dead even with Trent Kaniuga's Twilight Monk. Sometimes Trent's ahead, sometimes I'm ahead (I'm ahead at the moment ), but we're both coming up at the same rate so far. Considering Trent was a successful 90's artist who moved more books in the day than nearly anyone can do in 2010, and he's got advertising, and his book is g-rated and easy to follow - I couldn't be happier. I don't expect this to last - there's got to be a ceiling for a niche book like XTIN. It's amazing I held with him at all. But there it is, at least for a moment . . .

Now if you happen to prefer books where cute kids are kept in the closet and astoundingly powerful deathblows leave long red streaks across the landscape, you know what to do -

[Jack the R]

I wasn't planning for this to be another long, drawn out torture scene; but I need to show the O'keepa, and this is a good place for it.

Vote vote vote!

[Jack the R]

So has the story become too dark or what? It's nice to see comments, love it or hate it.

BTW the O'keepa ceremony I'm illustrating here is mostly taken from the O'keepa of the Native American Mandan tribe. The Mandan were almost entirely wiped out by smallpox, and the O'keepa is known only through the description of the artist George Catlin. The way I understand it, a man couldn't become an important person in Mandan society without enduring this lengthy torture ceremony. An accomplished warrior would be honored with one or more O'keepas, and this is how he would qualify to be a Chief (had to sacrifice an extra finger to be a Chief).

I think this is an interesting contrast with the sacrifices Americans can expect their leaders to make.

This scene will go on for a while, so I want to make clear it's based on an important and spiritual part of Mandan life. People really did this and it worked for them. It's not random sickness I'm making up.

[Jack the R]

[PaintMyBrain]

Love this stuf you know

[Jack the R]

Thanks man. I haven't had many comments lately so I was starting to worry - people seem to be liking this page though, what a relief. I'm kinda thinking the monologue could have been better, but I like the way Sina is looking. She was a bit goofy before but now she's starting to come across as genuinely sinister. My 2 cents anyway, I may be a little biased.

[Velocity Kendall]

Theres an old movie with Richard Harris where the indians hang him from hooks as part of making him a chief.
Still loving your linework but not understanding the prose, its compellingly strange though.

[Jack the R]

You're thinking of "A man called horse." I'd seen it mentioned before but hadn't looked into it until now. They've got a frame from it on IMDB showing a scene that is almost exactly what I'm illustrating -

Link

They've even got a guy spinning him around.

Well, does it end with the suspension or do they torture him more afterwards?

What part of the story is causing you problems?

[PaintMyBrain]

Dont worry, think ppl are too lazy to comment though. It looks awesome and I like the monolouge too. I belive there arent that much critique to give u, therefor ppl dont know what to write u know. It looks great, keep posting

[Jack the R]

Let's hope you're right. I'm not getting much traffic through the web site, but maybe it needs more time to grow.

[Jack the R]

I've been debating whether I should do more with backgrounds, and complex design work, but I got to the end of this page and had to triple check it before noticing I'd drawn the old High Priestess with three good eyes. I've truly come to appreciate the value of an editor. I'm constantly leaving things out or drawing them differently. It may after all be wise not to make the art any more complicated. Fancy designs are great if you only have to draw them once, but if you have to do them again and again they become a big problem.

[Jack the R]

It's the end of the month vote reset time at TopWebComics again. Please take a moment to vote for me so XTIN can get back up where it belongs.

[PaintMyBrain]

I love when u update, think it look so good and I like the text too. u got any tips how to draw like this?