IPod

[eveyap]

B&W sketch of young teen girl listening to ipod.
C&C welcome.

[velderia]

I like it. The background seems like it could use a little more detail though.

[eveyap]

HI , Tx for the comments.

Painted in the colors roughly . Trying hard to learn to paint healthy bright flesh.
The bg still sucks .
Any C&C to make it better ??

[Danilo]

I tried to make bigger shapes of tonal contrast, also aded the left leg too

[wooblood]

Just want to comment that I thought the lines in your sketch were pretty much perfect, so I hope you don't lose that as you progress. I know the color version is very rough, but for instance, that nice curve on her back has been lost. Also, I don't know if it's an intentional change or not, but in the colored version, the side of her face looks like it's nestling into her hair which I think makes her look like she's straining and takes away from the relaxed feeling you have in the original.
I personally liked the idea of her hair being a dark brown, especially because I think it would make for better lines/contrast, but that's your call.

[furiana]

I wish I could help you with color! I'm still working on basic construction. Still, I had to say that that's a great sketch; the pose is adorable! I hope the final image works out.

[eveyap]

Appreciate much on the teachings.
I do find it hard to keep the essence of the sketch after getting into the painting stage .
Will go through those again .
@Danilo .. I think I get it , the high contrast of my black jacket on the far right is grabbing the attention away from my subject . Will fix it .
Initially the idea of such hair color and black jacket was to show some punk identity in some teenagers . Will try to work it out.
Tx!

[ArchDesign]

wow.... great job.... 2 pics are very nice... but i like the first pic more than the last one

[Kristal Lee]

eveyap: Great sketch, it focuses on what a sketch should focus on. Great start with the colours, too. I wouldn't rush to add too much to the background from this point on... focus more on the girl, especially her face (she's off to a wicked start!) and then go from there. You don't want the background to distract from her, so don't forget that it's a secondary element.

I'm not particularly good at giving crits... I hope you find this at least a little useful.

[Kristal Lee]

Oh, and after taking a second good look at it, I think the window and dresser are fine for the background. Just tighten them up a bit here and there as you go and keep focusing on the girl.

[eveyap]

Repainted most of it . Trying to think about light and shadow to get the form out rather than painting according to the pencil sketch too much.
Still struggling with the face and hands.
C&C are always welcome!

[Volchiha]

Great work on the sketch, and it's really softened out for the last image. Will you be adding line to the pic? The edges seem a bit rough, and the skintone might be slightly too red, I think. But otherwise, the face is making a great focus point, so keep it up.

PS: I accidentally mistook post rating for a page number (shows how long I've been out of the loop), so I hope you don't mind the mistake there. O_o

[wooblood]

I'm not sure exactly how you changed it, but the face looks too small now.

[eveyap]

Really dissapointed with how this turns out to be .
I left out the ipod as I still don't think it is finished , yet I'm feeling
incapable of making it nicer.
Again C&C welcome . Hope your words can guide me .

[nauvice]

I like the second picture you posted much more, the lighting was nice and I dont tihnk you should have gotten rid of the dresser, it added details and added to the girl's personality. Right now she seems to be in a plain generic room. Dont be discouraged, just add to the room what you think a girl like her would have. Is she clean or messy? does she have other stuff lying on her bed, and what kind of dresser does she have, what's on it, etc. I think you could have a lot of fun with it

[wooblood]

Agreed with what zwarrior said about her surroundings.
The last version looks pretty good actually, except her left eye is shaped funny with that strange downward swoop. Also, this is a small thing, but her hair seems to be creating a false profile at her forehead. If that line was actually her forehead, it seems like it's too sloped, so I would just clarify that.
I would also suggest defining and contouring her neck more so it doesn't look like she's neck-less.
One last thing, make sure you keep good lighting and contrast in mind as you render everything out. Her upper body doesn't seem to have solid lighting or contrast at this point.

[Tatooist]

This is actually really useful for me , i've been studying the curves and her lips i like the make-up effect it's really beautiful that way. I love the hat really realistic at least to me it is. Im sorry im not much of a help crit wise. i would have said the head is too small but u already fixed that in the latest picture not sure what emotion you want to show, but right now she feels sad/thoughtful, i can see in some of the previous it looks like she is looking out the window behind her and in one of them it looks like she is looking at another person who entered the room.

[Falchion]

Critiques? Uh, the only thing that really sticks out to me is a lack of regular shadow under the forearm, but that's probably just my inability to read light sources.

[Euroption]

one thing that points out to me is the fact i dont really see any connection between her and the bed. it kinda looks like she is floating right above it rather than laying on it. especially the arm that is resting on it.

notice in this picture all of the wrinkles in the sheets and the imprint her body is making in the bed. http://70.38.46.108/data/media/21/Je...0Wallpaper.jpg

[Sulphur]

Yeah, I'd definitley agree with Euroption about her contact with the bed. Also, expanding on zwarrior's comment, I think that you could maybe add a stuffed animal near her pillow to enhance how girly and youthful she is aswell as adding a bit more zest to a very unlived in looking room. In fact, it doesn't even have to be girly - she could have a dinosaur stuffed toy which reveals that maybe she's a tomboy.
Posters are a good idea too, its very typically teenager-ish and has loads of potential to reveal even what music she could be listening to on that ipod (Boybands? Female icons? Heavy metal? Jazz?)

The girl herself is really coming along though! Don't lose hope - it'll look great when its done and you'll feel really proud of yourself

[eveyap]

Again ... I repainted with a different approach ..
Still pretty rough ..
I guess I'm being bit too ambitious trying to learn to paint light at the same time struggling to get the human form right.
Thanks for all the advise...
Tried with the bg .. but still cant get a satisfying look .Will leave it till
later.
Also noticed the contact with the bed ... but just couldn't focus on those while
I still cant get my girl right ...