Post Apocalyptic Scene - Need serious critique UPDATED!

[6ideon]

Here is the concept:

" And as the afternoon pressed on, the battle continued, the rebellion, pushing its front-line closer to the Jericho Complex with each passing hour. Their numbers were great, and before the night would fall, the rebellion would reign victorious, a battle won, but a war far from over."

A part of my Snowfalls of the Apocalypse series.

Artists notes:
For me this is what i think needs work, the lighting, I free handed this so I didn't use any reference, if you give me a picture i can render an exact image of it, but free hand and from memory is more difficult, I know I need to work on the lighting, it looks really bright outside but the light falling through the door inside is still kind of weak, and seems to miss the guy getting shot almost completely. Also the soldiers could be rendered more fully, and maybe more bullets holes? Let me know what you guys think, this is a different direction I've been taking as an artist, I do like the composition and looseness of this piece.

Please Crit away, I wanna make this a great piece!

[M-Studios]

First of all, keep refining and going. It will make the piece better.
But...
You need to get rid of that wall on the right side... it is just too damn big, in this way more than half of you picture is just a dark little bit textured plane wich makes this piece a lot less interesting to look at.
So try to redesign it a bit, take another angle, make some thumbnails and establish a focus point.

[Jon_Lyle]

About the light - The lights are out inside, assuming power loss, so there should be no lights outside (artificial). I'm assuming that this is the Jerico complex. With it taking all afternoon to reach it, and assuming it was decently defended, but that actual takeover is rather quick, it would be... early evening? Seems outside light would not be so bright, or at least not so white. An entry/exit to what I assume is an important, strategic, occupied, complex might should have emergency lighting nearby, especially in a corridor. That right wall should be taken out by an explosion during the siege, taking the paper warning sign with it. (seems too detailed/readable for that wall and the basic switch under it) Why isn't the dust/fog seeping into/out of the door?

[6ideon]

M-Studios and John Lyle you guys had some great advice,
so this is still aways from done, I intend to have a bit of scene going on outside in the desert. I tore down the wall, thought that was a great suggestion left the sign though, made it rusted metal, stepped up the lighting, not sure if it looks okay. added rebar to the crumbling wall, detailed the soldiers a bit more. As for the could of sand, it's coming from the outside, there is a bit of a wind storm, and thought i mentioned in the concept it was afternoon, I was thinking just barely, as I wanted the light to saturate the whole sky.

[Hypergear]

Not looking to bad, I would have to agree with doing something with that torn down wall, personally I prefer your original concept with dark hallway and single open door, it draws the eye a lot more toward the action and almost makes you guess at whats going on outside, still keep at it, nice stuff

-HG