Never-ending journey - Fundamentals ahead! (Update May 3nd)

[JakehC]

oh, hi thar

[Nemome]

Ven S Yeah! Was great! Thank you for adding me in skype!

WaSsiM Thanks WaSsiM! It wasn't that awesome that you could say that you miss something but i hope i see you with me on my next stream!

Aryeh ... ? Hey dude!

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Yeah!
I am back from my trip to Berlin!
Went to two awesome museums (Alte Nationalgalerie, Gesichter der Renaissance).
It was REALLY awesome to see some paintings of the old masters!
Really motivated me to keep going with art.
I saw one of Leonardo da Vinci paintings too.
Lady with an Ermine!
Awesome painting. I couldn't really believe it to see one great painting of an old master like Leonardo da Vinci.
Unbelievable about his good conditions. I mean: It is over 500 years old!

Berlin itself was a great city too, one week is definitely not enough to see Berlin.
I am definitely going to a second trip to Berlin as soon as possible.

That's it so far.

No sketches, because my parents didn't give me the time in front of a sight to sketch it, haha

I thought about starting a few "Draw 100!" things to practice my anatomical issues. I think i am going to start one of it tomorrow ^.^

Greetings,
Silwynar

[Nemome]

Streaming in ~30 minutes if anyone is interested in watching (and giving me critique )

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Finished it!
Here's the final version of my painting.
I am quite happy with it. Only 2 small references and i finished it before losing motivation!
I would have liked to detail it a little bit more but i don't know where so i stop here.
Need to analyse a few master paintings before doing a new painting...

Critique and comments welcome!

Greetings,
Sil

[Black Spot]

You didn't get those oils just to do one picture. So what if you messed it up. Do a still life next and see if you can get to grips with it.

I think livestreaming can put you under a lot of pressure to perform instead of studying. Learning isn't a performance art. Just back to the basics where you were improving and do some more mucking about with the oils.

[Magyar]

Looking good n.n

[Psychobuddy]

You have some lovely textures going on in those clouds, keep it up.

[p sage]

Black Spot has a good point.

You should be doing a lot of things that you keep only for your own eyes; because that way you give yourself a chance to grow, and give yourself a chance to breathe. Learning to draw shouldn't be a competition, if it is... it just makes it too hard..... drawing is hard enough as it is!

If you find, later, that you don't mind sharing your explorations... then feel free to do it. Just keep going in some way... keep exploring. Maybe for you the trick is to just keep some of it for your own eyes.

Well you know, good work. Just do more of it and try to reason about it. Reason and effort are what will separate your work from that of the ignorant and lazy.

Good luck!

[Wassim]

i like the last painting , try to put some colors
and you're so and so lucky to see some of leonardo's paintings
keep rocking bro

[Nemome]

Hey everbody! ^.^

I am sorry to tell you but i am out.
I quit drawing for a indefinitely time now. At the moment i noticed that drawing at the moment is not that what i want to do in my future.

It seems like i made myself a "pretender". In my mind i told my everytime that i MUST do art or otherwise i will never reach my "dream" being a concept artist.

But at the moment i don't really know if conceptart is really the job i wanted to be my dream. There is nothing for what i am doing art currently.
I am not doing it for myself because there is nothing i enjoy really.

When i started drawing i just liked to create things that didn't exist but now i don't know.

I am still very young and there is a lot of space to chose what i want to do.
There is actually no one who tells me that i HAVE to do art. It was only myself that told me this.

This winter i am going to learn the piano because i want to play an instrument again and i am going to make video editing with video games.
Yeah, i will start playing videogames again!
This is also something i stopped because i thought it isn't good for me if i want to get a job as an artist. I told myself that it is a waste of time.

So, yeah. What can i tell you more.

I can't tell you that i quit drawing forever, but as it is now it is not the thing I want for my future.


Thanks to everbody who helped me so far!
Thank you ConceptArtist!
You were "a close friend" to me but also an enemy (because this site made my mind that extremly focused ONLY on art).
But overall i enjoyed it here

Thank you ConceptArt.org and thanks to EVERYBODY who watched, commented, chatted, stalked, ... this sketchbook or got in contact with me.

Perhaps i will be back in a few weeks already, perhaps in a few months OR perhaps never?
I don't know.

Keep rocking guys!
Silwynar

[Sickbrush]

i'll miss you, kid

[tronrobot]

We hope you come back

[FightingSeraph]

Well, it's gonna suck that you won't be here for a while.

[Nemome]

Well thank you guys.

Actually i quit drawing, as i said, on friday, but over the weekend while playing video games, ... i already noticed that there is something i miss in my life.

Here's what i wrote at my blog:

"Hey everybody!

Friday i though about giving art up. I left the forum where i was active and started doing things i wanted to do ( but I didn't do before cause i though it is too much time waste ), like playing videogames a lot more again.
Thought about focusing on learning the piano, because I kinda like this instrument.



But while playing videogames over the weekend i didn't get myself satisfied with what i am doing.
Playing videogames again was nice, there is no point, but everytime i play something thoughts in my head go around like:
"Hey dude, you are wasting time! You are putting time into virtual shit. If you delete your account everything is away and the time you put in was wasted!"
Also i looked around for other things that i could do that have to with art.
I watched 2d animations and i really enjoyed them.
First i thought: Yeah, i think i am trying to do some 2d animation. This seems funny and good to show my ideas!
But the fire for animation didn't started to burn.
I thought it is cool but i didn't get myself to try it out concentrated.

This evening i headed over to conceptart.org because i enjoy watching paintings and drawings by other awesome guys.
While i watched through the paintings i directly noticed that something inside me told me that THIS what i truely want to do.
I don't know what i really want, but because i can't get away with drawing and painting i will continue working.

Right now i am motivated like hell again to manage the work in front of me to get where i want to get.
To be an illustrator or a concept artist in my future.
Perhaps tomorrow the world will aready look different and i lost my motivation again for a few days but i will continue working and posting my progress in this blog.

I won't show up in conceptart.org for a little time (a week or more) because i don't want to stay there like "YEEEAH i am back, yooo!" and then after a few days already being away again because i lost motivation.
I am going to be on ca.org again when i feel that i will continue working and that this is what I WANT to do.

So yeah uhhm, long text for the first post in my new blog. There are a lot of mistakes i think. Take them, collect them, do whatever you want! But you should know that english is not my native language I am german, hehe.
"

So as long as i don't know how i will go on i will only update on my blog the little things and thoughts i have.
When i am sure about continueing constantly i will start updating my sketchbook here again.

As long as this isn't the case watch at my blog at:
http://www.silwynar.blogspot.com

Thanks for visiting.
Silwynar

[Ven S]

Don't quit!!! NOO!!!
"The good artist are the crap ones that didn't give up."

[Nemome]

I not REALLY quitted yet dude
We already talked about it in the conversation before.

I am just unsure how i will keep going or if i am going to take a pause...

Cheers!

[Voodoo_Mama]

o: Maybe you just need to keep art as a hobby for a while, until you regain your passion. Just draw stuff that you like, you don't need to show it to anyone nor post it online, just do it for fun, for yourself, until you figure out what you really want to do. Like you said, you are young, maybe you'll get more into it in 2 years, who knows? experiment.
C:

[dierat]

I agree with Voodoo; just keep making art but don't pressure yourself into pursuing a career in it because you think you should. And keep in mind that if you do end up going cold turkey off drawing for a long period of time, it may be difficult for you to get back into it later on if you choose to. So it might be a good idea to try to draw at least a little bit somewhat regularly to keep yourself from getting too rusty. Good luck, in whatever interest you choose to pursue. < 3

[Wassim]

it's really a bad thing if you quit doing art
just i want to tell you a quote that i always tell it to myself when i'm feel lazy or want to give up
( " Make up your mind and do it or dont and whichever you chose , don't cry about it , because it was your choice " )

we hope to see new stuff

[Niva.]

Hey there, was browsing my old sb and noticed you posted in there a couple years ago so I came here. I'll chime in with something because I identify with your feelings about art and dreams.

I myself am very old by art improvement standards. I'm 35+ and even though I've been drawing my whole life I've never been properly trained with art. I used to think I'm a good artist until I came along to websites such as this one and realized I suck. While I've worked on improving I've made very slow strides forward, little by little. I'd love to be able to work as a concept artist but it's not going to happen. I've been working as an Engineer as a contractor for NASA for 10 years now, and there's no way that my art will ever make the kind of $ I make now or will make in the future as an engineer.

There are days I want to give up on my art too. But there's something inside which always comes out. While I've given up on my dream of ever being anything more than an occasional freelancer I'll never stop with my art. These days I do it for myself. While my skill has went up as I've actually had a lot of requests to do work for other people it's not worth it for me. When someone offers me $200 for a painting that will take me a good 40 hours to make, it's just not for me.

At the beginning of 2010 I actually went through an art depression that lasted about 10 months. I got burned out during the TEAM CHOW on this website, and while I don't think we should've won the voting results affected me negatively. Same thing happens with sketchbooks. I see you have 3 stars, and I know when I had 3 stars it bothered me. I know these things shouldn't matter, but they do.. and they all contribute to lowering your self esteem as an artist. It takes a continual effort to recognize these things, push forward despite them, and do what you want to do.

You seem to have the right ideas about improving and the steps you need to take to get to your end destination. Maybe your end destination isn't with visual art at all, and that's fine. But don't make blanket statements about quitting drawing, because you're only limiting yourself. If you need to take a break from this site, the community, or art in general for a while DO IT. It will be better for you in the long term.

Anyways, I'm not sure why I bothered posting this here including personal details, but something in your situation speaks to me very clearly. You and I have kinship through our art efforts. Just hang in there, don't let the bad drag you down, and do what you want to do (even if that's making crappy artwork with the intent of improving like I do.)

Cheers!

[Nemome]

Thanks everybody!

I am going to reply to all comments on wednesday.

Just wanted to say that my exams are nearly over (wednesday last exam) and I am going to have more freee time again!
Because I am already missing art that much i start doing stuff again! ^.^

Can't wait to start again and this (short) break was very good in my opinion.

I will tell you everything on wednesday.

Greetings!

[Evergrey]

Nice sketchbook! I'm glad you started drawing again, looking forward to the new update Sometimes it can be good to take a break for a while and then look at your own art with new eyes!

[Charmer]

Stop talking, start working! Come on my friend, get some motivation on your breakfast tomorrow!

[rinnikirun]

I want some art brah Gotta get back in the game man. No more skyrim or DOTA 2

[Nemome]

-ven- Here's the art! But sometimes i will play these games ;P I want to get a conceptartist for games, so i need to play a little bit games too!

Charmer Hehe, thanks!

Evergrey Thanks my dear! You are totally right. Feels great to have a new start.

Niva. Thanks dude. Gave me a nice insight of what you went through and helped me organizing my minds too.

WaSsiM Depressive phase was not that long as you see. Here i am again to fill your mind with art

dierat I stopped drawing completely and doing a few things already made me under pressure imo, so it's good i made a pause.
I think I got away from this extrem pressure phase.

Voodoo_Mama Right now it is my hobby after this break But it would be cool to see it as my job in the future.

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Update
I am doing a few things everday and i am trying to get back to a nice amount of stuff everday.
No pressure, so i keep things calm.
Also no daily updates, i am going to update when i feel like updating i think...

Greetings,
Sil

[LtPlissken]

A very cool and brutal update!
Give me a beer now!!!

[Nemome]

LtPlissken Thanks dude! And nope.. No beer!

----------------------

Quick update!
My progress on the study of a crow after 1 1/2 hours livestreaming with Charmer, Nye and Diarum
Thanks guys.

[Evergrey]

Hey Sil!

Great update, loving that penguin study like crazy! (even though I'm mad at you for ignoring the little black feathers all over it's body, because they are great both for colour and for texture purposes.)The eye study looks great too, the original picture looks a bit tricky because it is so pixely

I think you would benefit a lot from studying the human anatomy, sites like posemaniacs could be of a good help. Love your dedication to draw a little every day. It's stuff like that that makes you improve Have fun and keep it up br0!

[shiNIN]

Nice crow.
Your figures are very stiff, their limbs are like sticks, sorry, you need flowier lines, some loose gesture studies, maybe? It's not easy I know very well...

[iven]

you need flowier lines, some loose gesture studies, maybe? It's not easy I know very well...

I don't agree, gestures are fun, if you can free your mind. It is good when you
are taking your time to draw. But it is not good to think about a nice clean drawing which is gonna be here.

That will make your drawings stiff !

Lose up get some scrap paper and don't even think about them being posted
think about having fun,......!!

[Nemome]

Thanks everybody!

I am doing stuff every evening until night right now because during the day I don't have the time.
My mum went out of hospital and during the day I have to look after her, so I paint during the night.

I had a few livestreams the last few days and I got GREAT help every stream.
In my opinion I am learning quite a lot at the moment.
Especially when it comes to digital painting and fundamentals (like edges and values).

Right now I don't have the time and motivation to upload all my drawings and paintings, but when i get more time I will start updating again.

If you want to contact me, add me in Skype or try to catch me up during one of my streams ( at http://livestream.com/silwynar.

And because it's Christmas this day:
MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYBODY! I am going to make another post for new year but that's another story.

Greetings,
Silwynar