Pied Piper of Carson City

[GrizzlySlippers]

Final assignment for my illustration class.
Take a fairy tale (i chose the pied piper of hamelin) and make 3 panels (beginning middle and end), in any context and any focus.

My version takes place in the old west, the piper is a "gun for hire" and the rats are bandits.

17x11 watercolor

[AmbrMerlinus]

Are the panels supposed to be sequential, or just about the same subject?

[SLN]

You washed out the flyer in the first panel and it seems important, so perhaps you could add more detail to the portrait or lettering to bring it back into the foreground. The ketchup and beer on the waitresses platter feel to saturated. I don't know whether she's important to the scene or part of the background, mainly because of her eyes. If she's important, she could be brought up closer or otherwise be placed further away.

Some of the staging feels awkward or clumsy. The entrant entering into the saloon is surrounded by the oversaturated platter to the left and directly beneath it the poster. The indoor shadowing (mainly the dark lines painted against the incoming light) seems to have little effect because of the dense placement, and some shading issues which create the illusion of tangents.

I wasn't quite sure why you used purple on both the entrant and the poster stains or lighting.

The beer splash feels jagged and should have been broken up or toned down, or maybe have the cup tilted the direction of the spash.

In the second panel the tear running down his cheek feels excessive, and the smoke from the gun reads poorly. It looks like a drop of water or graphic design.

In the last panel,it seems you didn't finish the ground shadows for the girl on the right. The childs hair is very loud and colorful and doesn't look like the other children in the corner.

I liked alot of the faces in the second panel and the bold use of colors through out. You trade away strength in the emotions of your characters when you flippantly apply any color for shading. As a viewer, the context the piece feels to me is more of a humourous one given some of the faces in the second panel and bright colors contrasting against serious subject matter. And of course thats not a bad thing, only my observation, all fair as long you acheive you intentions.

[Freddy Scribbles]

Just curious...

but did you thumbnail your illustration and fiddle with things like getting the anatomy and composition pegged before doing the (presumably) final pieces? And if so, can we see them?

I kind of dig the idea of the western setting. Really like that actually. But I'm not really getting the connection to the story you've chosen. I feel like you either need rats or a pipe or something that really connects it to a contemporization of the Pied Piper tale. Even something like leading the 'bad' away from the 'good'. That at least would be analogous to the story. But a dude barging in a shooting a lot of people up? No so much. I also get why you put the children in, but they don't seem to fit in with the rest of the narrative. Nor were the children rescued from the rats....

Also...imho, for a final this looks really rushed. Especially for a final. Mind you I'm also assuming this a University level final.

Even if this was a stylization choice, it has a slapped together last minute feel. That's why I'm interested in your process. I mean, I've been there and know we all get strapped for time. I just think it would be nice to see a really solid, well thought out piece of work.

but yeah...I'm guilty as hell of submitting half-assed work in the past. Doesn't cut it professionally though. But you learn...

Good luck on your final either way!

[GrizzlySlippers]

to ambr, yes the panels are sequential.

to SLN: i agree about the wanted sign, and i used the purple as a way to try to lead you eye to the things i wanted you to notice, guess that didn't work.
for the second panel, its not a tear, its supposed to be a scar, oops. i agree about the smoke. and i was kind of going for a humorous aspect on a dark subject.

to Freddy:
for the first two i did a bit of work on anatomy and composition, but the third i was really pressed for time. i turned in my sketch book with the project so when i get them back tomorrow i can show them (i havnt had much education in the way of human anatomy so that can have an impact on my work).
I'll admit that i strayed away from the story a bit, but i just had a lot of fun with my conception of the story (i know that will get me in trouble in the future, this was a one time thing).
you're right it was pretty rushed, all done in 1.5 days. 2 of them done in one night. have a lot goingon this semester.

thank you all for the cit

[zedkhov]

Anatomy classes.

First pane that dudes finger is massive.

all panels with the main character look at his hat, his skull could never fit in there. Last panel, his gun looks way off. I suggest grabbing a book called "gun" off amazon it will help you a tonne and is a great reference book. Hope none of this sounded harsh, i havent had my coffee yet.

Cheers,
Z