first commission

[phantasm3001]

Hi,

This is my first paid job for drawing something, i've been drawing for 3 years and found this really difficult. i was asked to base it on a previous composition that was never used, i wouldnt have chosen to have that guy to be hunched over in the front. i did change it quite a bit in the end as it was going to be used for a centre page rather than book cover. i really struggled getting the values right and had to use the digital medium to compensate for my shorttfalls ( something i don't like doing). i'm calling this done as my deadline is here but there's a hundred things i want to fix on it but for now i'm spent on this! anway if anyone has any advice on planning your value composition i would be greatfull to hear from you, ta

[Duman]

Breaking up the skyline with pikes, flags and limbs would help the movement and flow. Adding some blood sprays could also spice it up a wee bit. Think 300 or Beowulf.

[wookiedabo]

I agree that the skyline needs breaking up somewhat. If the guys in the foreground are on a different level, why cant any of the background characters be? In terms of planning the values, there really isnt a better way than making several thumbnails. With digital, you have the unbridled luxury of being able to work well zoomed out, and can therefore really concentrate on overall compositional impact, and in theory nail the values.

I like the piece tho.

[Bai Fan]

It isn't really feeling like a deep piece. More like a foreground plane and a flat background piece.

I agree that the horizon feels too flat and straight.

[DK_sketch]

I think more contrast would difently help your piece its missing deph a bit

[Dread_Reaper]

A few things have already been mentioned to improve upon this piece, like adding some pikes, flags, or raised swords to break up the monotony of the midground, upping the contrast for some much needed drama, and adding some red blood splatters to give the piece flow, but there are a couple of other things that have gone unmentioned.

First, the background is incredible boring. I see you have put in a few mountains, but it is really not enough. It leaves you with this giant negative space that draws the eye negatively. Add some tall mountains or something to give your background some feeling. While I'm on this topic, I should also note that your horizon isn't actually straight. It curves towards the left side of the picture in an unnatural way. Try to sort this out.

Also, the foreground dude on the right side. His pose is completely unnatiral and doesn't read well. I still have no idea how he is even holding a sword, etc. I would STRONGLY advise you revisit him and redo his pose.

Another thing that comes to mind is that the light source doesn't read incredibly well. I mean, this is partially due to that the contrast is too low, especially in the foreground, but partially you just haven't emphasized the shadows enough. I would take a second pass and really try to define your light source. Along with the contrast adjustments it will give this piece a lot more oomph.

Another suggestion that could add some drama to this piece would be adding some kind of weather, like blowing snow or something. It would really give the piece a bit more movement and chaos, which this battle is seriously lacking. Plus is goes with the whole mood, and the fact that you have Vikings. Just a thought.

Thanks all for now friend. Keep at it and show us what you've got!

-Dread_Reaper

[phantasm3001]

thanks for all advice guys.
having had a day off from it i can see where it needs work, i think also the light would catch more strongly on the axe and would help to bring it forward. as for the guy on the right i don't like the pose much myself either. looks awkward, unfortunately the guy i'm doing this for wanted me to base it on a previous composition so had to keep that pose but i think i will repaint him again for myself. i'll post again when i've got something more to show, thanks again

[KonnA]

How about some epic god rays coming down and highlighting the metal a bit more?

[Abby!]

Played with the curves a bit just to show how increasing the range of values can really bring more depth and drama to the piece.

I realize it might be too late to add anything as of this posting, but for future reference: establishing a full range of values (from near-black to near-white) at the very beginning can really help. The original was largely constrained because your value range was very narrow; the darkest value wasn't dark enough and the same thing happened with the highlights.

[¿Dubious?]

Yo dude cheers on the commission. Ive been drawing my whole life and I dont think Ive ever gotten paid for it haha. Anyway you do really need to break up that skyline. My main issue is that the number of combatants involved in this fight seems totally unreasonable. If this is supposed to be Valhalla or some massive battle of mythic proportions then well done but if this is supposed to represent at least a pseudo realistic event then you might want to tone down the number of dudes involved. Also your whole battlefield could use some breaking up. Right now its like there are some interesting foreground elements then a carpet of fighting men behind them. Its more like a pattern than an actual battle. keep in mind that there would be dead spots where the crow is thinner as well as pile ups of people. Much like the crowd at a concert. I might consider varying up your background elements as well. Maybe some mounted combatants or some siege engines or just some really really tall guys. Something to make it look like its not a battle going on between 600 copies of the same guy back there. Maybe some Mountains or something would help too. Trees perhaps. Anyway if its too late to make any of these changes then its just stuff to keep in mind for next time. Love the dude with the beard. Keep up the good work.

[MiniGoth]

That's a LOT of lil dudes - kudos on your patience!

[SashaMichelson]

The warriors of both sides resemble too much. The overall look is great. Can you get focus on a hero or a leader?

[Bai Fan]

I have to say it. I am not liking the big guy on the right. His pose feels pretty static, and I have no idea what he is doing with his arms.

[JFierce]

The one thing that bugs me about the guy on the right is his belly
It seems un-natural and bulgy

[Dread_Reaper]

The one thing that bugs me about the guy on the right is his belly
It seems un-natural and bulgy

Its not so much his belly really. Look at the curvature of this spine: its completely unrealistic. What you should do is either move his legs back or more his chest and upper body forward, because right now his position is killing this piece, as he is arguably the most prominent figure on the battlefield. You NEED to fix this character, because it is really distracting from this whole piece in a very negative way.

The other thing is the skyline, which I have already mentioned before, but that might be passable if you REALLY can't do anything about it. The rays of light suggestion is actually a good one, I would consider experimenting with that a little bit as way of creating good movement for the eye, which this piece is also lacking to a degree. Its a simple idea that you should at least try.

Great progress, keep it up dude, you're in the home stretch!

-Dread_Reaper