How can I make this better?

[LauraD]

hello friends.

Take a look at this piece - what strikes you as good, bad, and needing improvement on?

THANKS. You rock my pink socks.

-Laura

[ATAnderson]

Hey LauraD,

It's a nice start to your image.

All of your verticals (structures in this case) should be lining up with each other. You can either have them all go in one direction or to add more height they could all converge slightly to one point.

In terms of selling the image I guess you want a Sci fi city with ships flying around, which you have done but you could add more intrigue and narrative if you like.

For example the closest ship to us is quite dark and graphic looking. You could make it turning slightly and heading towards your vanishing point/sunset LS.

The way you have edge lit the building slightly under the main ship is a nice touch and you could play that up more throughout the image.

If it was me I would try to make the image about the main ship and the centre structure - try to get it so it is about to fly around the structure towards the sunset, and have the rest of the city as a second read.

I am just chucking stuff out quite quick here I hope it all makes sense. I could say much more or a paintover but I don't know if you plan to keep working on it.

Look forward to seeing updates.

ATA

[Bai Fan]

The things that bother me the most right off the bat are:

Painting with pure black is really distracting and looks wrong.

The linework for the sides of the buildings aren't straight.

The buildings in the background in the far left looks like they are falling over and do not match the other vertical perspective lines.

[Max Challie]

Shorten the building in the center for a better composition.

the buildings slant one way, ships slant the other. They should be parallel.

I think it would look more interesting if most ships were pointing in one direction. Go technical with the perspective, receeding lines to that point. Blocking the point of interest with a building makes it interesting, adds a sense of mystery. So kudos on that!

[kev ferrara]

This is a very nice start. The depth and the city and the action are all believable.

However, the piece is lacking is excitement and I'm not sure why. (But I'll make a guess )

The silhouette shapes are not all that interesting and they are lacking in interesting edge effects and details. All the buildings are similarly shaped and similarly colored. (The color scheme is both too saturated and too same. A few grayish colors, gray green, gray purples, or whatever, will make a pale yellow seem stronger by contrast alone.)

Not enough technological detail, either on the ship or the buildings. And the sky is not interesting enough either. Look at the thrusters on the airship... notice they're just circles... nothing extra in terms of detail. Look at this picture by Sparth:http://www.sparth.com/gallery/displa...lbum=47&pos=12

Look how everything is "articulated." Articulated is an important word. Another word is distinction... give your shapes and your ships, your technology and your landscapes some serious distinction. Design them more. Make them something original, idiosyncratic and fascinating.

Good luck
kev