Exodus

[ExilE]

Hello everyone, I'm looking to get some feedback on a piece I re-worked. It started out as an assignment for school and I felt really rushed on the final and was learning a new medium so I think it turned out extremely crappy. However, I liked the idea and the color palette so I went back and reworked it digitally and am much happier with the result. I would like to make this piece part of my portfolio, so I would love to hear your thoughts and critiques. Thanks for looking

I included the original crappy version too for a comparision...

[MiniGoth]

The palette is cool. In the more finished version, the strong yellows and pinks seem to be getting a bit lost.

[JTown]

I like your second image better (I hope that's your digital one.)

This image has great potential- but it seems you really need to work on the lighting. There is depth in the building and great lighting potentials- but the currentl lighting just totally seems to miss the mark. Everywhere you have lighting it's like "uniform" lighting... no

And the rocket boosters don't look in line with the spaceship. They look tilted too far to the right.

I hope this helps.

[dark eagle]

I prefer the first one. The second one seems to be shouting out digital through a loud haler at me. Its too well smooth try to lay of the smudge tool or whatever your doing to get that feel.

And the bit that connects the base station to the shuttle, seems to be veering away from you. Perspective problems, especially hard to do since the shuttle is rotated.

[trickmonkey]

Hi Exile,

I think the digital paint is a great improvement.
I think it's still lacking depth and scale and there is not a lot of variation in tone. It's very even toned and the eye just gets stuck on the bright white space ship. I hope you don't mind but I did a quick paint over to show how you could add some more visual interest and variation, I also enlarged the man in the control box to get some variation in composition. good work. Keep going!

[ExilE]

Thanks for the replies everyone.

MiniGoth- Thanks, I agree I think I could bring more of the warmer colors back into the piece.

JTown- Not sure what you're talking about. Could you provide some examples on what you are referring to with the lighting?

dark eagle- Used the smudge tool 0 times. The piece itself was quite a bit larger when I was working on it, maybe that is contribuiting to it losing the texture and feeling too digital. As for the connection area to the shuttle, any suggestions on how to fix that?

trickmonkey- Thanks for the paint over, very helpful. I see what you mean about it needing more variation in the composition.

I'm going to take everyones suggestions into account and work on this a bit more. I'll post any updates back here, thanks again.

[ExilE]

Hey guys, I worked on this piece a bit more and tried to take your critiques into consideration. Please let me know what you think about the revised version.

[trickmonkey]

It's slightly better but I still think the space ship is way too bright and evenly lit. The lighting should be more uneven to get the scale of the rocket ship/ The rest of the scene is lost, I would incorporate some more ambient light and have a relook at the overall lighting and find a way to lead the eye around the scene so it reads better.

[nnstudios]

Hi, I like the achitechture here, it has a cool retro feel to it, makes me think of Fantastic 4 a bit. there seems t me a bit of wonkyness with the perspective of the engines of the ship, is it just me?

[Tangrim]

I'm a bit puzzled by the perspective of it all, so I went to dink around in photoshop to see where all the lines went to, and this is what I kinda came up with. Correct me if I'm wrong though, it's quite late and my eyes are weary, so I could have forgotten to check things differently.

But it's not exactly.. clean, as it turned out. Is the horizon really this tilted and high up? Mind you, I had trouble finding vanishing points..