beginning of a long way... (mild nudity)

[Lightship69]

You are just so busy at the moment my matey!! I loved the "lil Baby" in the bottom right of that last set that was a stand out one for me, and some good sanse of balance and movement in some of the others nice one!

The used car salesman smiles guy looks a bit more square jawed athlete guy to me though. He needs more sneaky, oily, creepy guy about him I think, after all he is a used car salesman!! LOL

stay well my mate and keep posting

[Jephyr X]

Heya...good to see all the gestures! I checked out gracefulnudes...lotza beautiful images there. Thanks.

Likin yer kitty quickies too!

[shiNIN]

I really can't understand why I get this many comments, I really don't do any creative or interesting work here... And lately, there are only pencils. My house were extremely cold, especially where my computer is located so I drew traditionally (I wonder where my watercolor paints, by the way), I need and like to do that anyway.
But the weather is nice again and somehow I feel easier to draw and paint, it seems I got back something from the enthusiasm I had years ago

swallowed fireworks: Your comment is the hardest to reply to... I'm so totally not amazing but I feel an even more urge to deserve your praise a little more. Thanks.
Of course you can progress, everyone can if put some effort into it Well, if it's drawing, A LOT of effort. But a little bit every day will do the trick in time, probably.
I'm a lazy one but very stubborn so even I could get somewhere one day.

Macska: Your post is full with wise/true statements. You are right, I need self confidence. I generally believe in myself but being locked up together with a very harsh critic, among others, my inner child artist lost pretty much all of its/their confidence. The problem is, I improve much slower than the standards of my critic self and BDSM isn't quite my thing. I don't let my inner psychiater get bored, I can assure you.
I know I'm improving, that part is okay. I don't understand it though, I draw so little in a so cowardly way and so on, I don't wanna let my inner critic tell you his opinion, maybe my self confidence isn't dead for good yet.
But I could improve much more if I get serious, I know it. It would be so exciting to try... When my inner critic isn't the strongest one in the bunch, I go and explore what's behind the wall.
When I was a child? That's not a good example. My inner critic was born when I was 7. I was happily drawing all the time (I loved maths even in nursery school but it was way too easy to me and I got bored so they let me draw) but when I was 7, there was a drawing competition I was participated in and when I looked at my drawing next to the others, the shock I suck epically hit me and forgot about drawing for decades. When I started again, I couldn't do it like a child. But I may do it one day.
I know I need to draw for fun (I actually do it sometimes), I'm a hedonist, after all. I couldn't even do a work that's not enjoyable. It's cruel I could desperately want to draw without actually desire to do the actual drawings/paintings, at least when I started them. It was like being dead and trying to live and feel again.
Sorry. You post triggered so many thoughts.

rumpelstiltzkin: I actually like studies too but you are right. My anatomy studies are kinda over for a while, I have more important things to practice now. Own/fun stuff too, yeah, everyone keeps telling me that and I know but it's not so easy...

Plissken: Yay! You don't know but 'discombobulated' is one of my favourite words and you almost wrote that. It seems you're experimenting with poetry as some of your texts has a nice rhyme, your writing style is already as condensed and abstract as well written poems which beauty blooms when we dig deep to understand them. Every post of yours are another rose in my ever growing collection, painted in an interesting, sometimes shocking way. I hope you still can follow me, I start to get lost and I still have so many comments to reply.

Ramalooke: There will be colors soon I plan to do a lot of enviros and other stuff as well, of course.
And I can't imagine I would be able to do enviros without colors, I will do simple ones and focus on brushwork, composition and colors.

Wassim: Did I paint an apple? Maybe long time ago... Whatever. Finished paintings? Maybe I try to do some portraits and enviros, I definitely don't want to do much copywork, I don't even care if I have just sketches if I get closer to grab how a human looks like...

in2eternity: Thanks

bobmeatbag: Thanks! I started to read the book you recommended to me, I love it

AdrianNagorski: I see. Well I can't help it, I use this topic as a diary, with much blurb. Writing is a way of thinking for me. I don't expect anyone to read my texts but sometimes it does happen
Lazy trap and you?! You are my hero, you keep going into the right direction, I better start drawing seriously if I don't want totally lose to you, I'm sure I said something like this before. I'm the lazy one but I keep fighting

Aragah: Imagination stuff is waiting desperately in me, I guess. It's more and more troubling... But when I don't even draw enough to warm up, I can't start something own. I fear I kinda forgot how to do that.

Thyname: Yes! I need to buy some pen with variable line width I like this idea.

Baconstrap: Geza, my avatar is damn cool and the Hyrtl collection of skulls are so awesome that it motivated me more than almost anything back then. Since then, I wish I could draw as good as I did that time, in that state of mind.
Value studies... You probably has right, well I need to do more of kinda everything... I will try.

Justyna: No, I should work much, much more hard

Lav: Thanks. Yep, I think some of my skills got better, I need to give a chance to my others skills to improve too...

Lightship: You are totally right, he's totally not a used car salesman, it was just my intention when I started to draw. I tend to do that, something else happens than what I planned.
But I will get to the used car salesman some day

Jephyr X: Thanks! Yep, gracefulnudes.com is a fine site and they have some wonderful texts too, they can be all enthusiastic about the pure joy of setting upon their eyes on human beauty... They may go a bit overboard with it, maybe, but I immensely enjoy those texts and hope my English gets a little more rich if I read them

*sigh* It was tiring.
Another two bunches of pencil stuff, next time there will be colorful digital everything but at least some clouds.
Those girl faces and my boyfriend's faces are some attempts to prepare to start my simple but evolving comic strips... I wonder if I will be able to do something with them. My goal is to start extremely simply, I have no doubts I would improve later. I totally adore Extra Ordinary comics. They are very simple but cute and they do exist. I would be happy with a little less... But I need to jump. Not just doing what I do, not just putting my feet a tiny bit forward, no, it's a jump, it may be tiny but a jump.
It won't be easy.
I do my best to turn off my "but it must be epic" "I don't know enough anatomy or anything for that" type inner voices.

[Nemome]

Thanks for visiting my sketchbook :>
Always a pleasure to see your name on my thread replies!
First of all: You got skype? Would be awesome to chat if you want to.

Now to your stuff.
I really like where you're going.
Your mainproblem is that everything tend to look very fast.
From your critiques I already know that you HAVE a LOT of knowledge about all that stuff.
The main problem is that you don't have enough practice.
It's like: 10 / 100 Theory / Practice

Practice your three dimensional understanding. Put lines around your objects to see the form in space.
But that's just a tiny part.

You just need to practice even more and really taaaaaaake your time.
There's no need to hurry while drawing.
You're not doing any comission, so you don't have a deadline.
Taking your time to observe while drawing takes you much more forward than doing 50 drawings in that time, but not memorizing anything

Sup, yeah.
Just keep practicing my friend! )

Sil

[LtPlissken]

First of all, I just want to share something,
I just read on the internet that Scwarzenegger gave up
a big secret about the third Batman movie, he admitted
that the movie was written by penguins. He admitted
this on the second congress in Vienna. Can you believe this?
I am shocked! I am simply dazed and cannot control myself.
How can the world judges let things like this to happen?
Your art is beautiful as always, I like how you give some
torque on those faces, and how your light hearted angel
winged soul gets molded into each of your creation.
Your pencils are highly honored for having themselves in
your unique hands. The pencils currently manufactured
in Indonesia, Taiwan and West Virginia are already dying
in desire to serve to you and to obey. You are the one who can
give Pinocchio a birth, you are the one who can make
Pinocchio come alive. Oh, we all wish we could be
wooden dolls once again.

[shiNIN]

Silwynar: Thanks I had skype a few years before but now I have only MSN. And google talk or what is it called. I rarely use any of them nowadays though.
I need practice, that's true, I feel I have much more knowledge I can use, seeing flaws and drawing are different things.
But I disagree, I need to draw quicker skethes. Maybe I need change my attitude and several other things but I take my time too much on mere studies, I think too much, I need to make 1 minute gesture sketches and whatnot. But speed isn't among the most important things at the moment. My goal was always to START TO DRAW ALREADY. I'm still not there. I happen to make some marks on the paper sometimes these days, that's cool but just a tiny step. I guess it's not so understandable but I'm the one who see what's going on.
Whatever, it's my fight. No one can help me, I need to take the steps.
*sigh*
I know I should do longer paintings too but they will be my own. I won't play with studies for too long, it would be pointless.

Plissken: If you would have watched Mawaru Pinguindrum or what is that crazy anime is called that my boyfriend watched, you wouldn't be so surprised. There's so many for you to learn
I pity the mentioned pencils as I mostly use ones made in Turkey, they are cheap but cool, my favourite one has little green apples painted on it, how awesome is that?

I still can't go back to digital... I'm back in my own room though, it will be better from now on. My environment is important for me.
Pencil and some thin marker:

[rem92]

Wassup Shinin, you got some nice studies going, i'd just like to see more life figure studies, some long posses, i think it'd help.

[shiNIN]

rem92: Life drawing is nice, I know I should do it more My only model won't be around for a few days and he can't stand still. He says it's because he's a human, not an object.
I could draw myself as well but I usually don't like this idea.
I rarely meet other people and I never can draw them anyway, I tried.

The weather is nice, the house is warm enough... I'm still a bit lazy but hopeful... But I didn't bring any exiting stuff, just a few sketches for Spartan Camp #214. The first one is a reply for someone there, the objects are for the optional, material study. I planned to draw sexy gals scantily clad in some material but whatever.

[Ramalooke]

yaaaay color, finaly! keep it up we want moar ;3

[AdrianNagorski]

Man your pumping it now, very good, nothing like a bit of added pressure to
find one's true potential.

[liquorbleu]

Hey shiNIN buddy, I'm loving your studies, your anatomy is going to be flawless.

You know what I'd love to see though? If you stepped out of your box a lil bit. Do something that is maybe exciting to you but you don't draw cause you are afraid - or just don't think to usually. Don't be afraid to do something that looks bad, you gotta get through so many bad pictures anyway till you get to a good one

[in2eternity]

Very nice lines in those women study, keep them coming)))

[shiNIN]

Has anyone any idea how to get rid of my habit to put every lil crappy pencil drawing here? It looks bad and takes too much time. I, like, didn't draw this week but I spent a lot time to put this nothing together. I even did some selection.
I'm tired.
And feeling guilty, I dislike using others' drawings and put them here but I have so few figures and they looks the best and this time I didn't just copy without thinking at all... And I don't even know the origin in every case *sigh*.

I need to go back to digital. I pretty much avoided it this week.

Sorry for this update
My spirit isn't so great this week anyway.

Ramalooke: Colors are so difficult. I really need to do enviros, skin coloring always results in spending much time and having bad results in my case

AdrianNagorski: What if I had no pressure just pure joyful drawing...? Mmmm... I'm not good at drawing when under pressure.

liquorbleu: Nowadays I don't even care about anatomy, I want flowy expressive or sexy stuff ~. But it's not bad I have some anatomy knowledge somewhere.
You are right, I know, I know I've more and more unpleased with this situation but I'm still kinda stuck I do try change this.

in2eternity: Thanks

Refd faces and whatnot:

[rumpenstiltzkin]

i think its a good habit to post, keeps you active! and those heads looks good! so much better than mine hah, i feel like ill never learn how to draw heads/faces!

and keep that spirit up!

[shiNIN]

In the first years, I almost always drew just faces. Front viewed lazy ones. Anime refd or whatnot. They were simply awful...
I'm soooooooo much better at them now but I can't draw a certain type of face at will Not even a simple stylized one. Cute girl face, pretty boy and old one, these are easy but if I try to do something else, that's hard.
I can't draw heads from not trivial angles, expressions, details... Sometimes I feel I can draw nothing at all.

Whatever.

I don't mind my little skills, they are enough to do drawings and paintings that doesn't make me cry from disappointment, my mental, psychological state is what's not right.
I feel good today, maybe this will be the day when I really start to draw! Who knows?

Photo refd faces and I used my mouth and nose and eye too. Mouths are so hard to draw, even in front view but I need to draw them open as well...


That corset is pure win btw. I'll draw it properly, worn by a curvy girl. That sketch is but a silly fun drawing, I totally need such ones. I miss my Tegaki times a bit.

[LordLouis]

Hey ShiNIN,

I know this is going to be a very odd suggestion and people would probably disagree with me here-
why don't you take a break?

All I see you saying is that you are unhappy with your skills, lack of progress, can't see any quality in your work etc. etc. Now, everyone can tell you it is not true, but you seem to have your mind set that way at the moment.

I felt the same way and kept on going, and ended up feeling so depressed about it that I stopped drawing for 6 months altogether and only came back to it last week. I am not suggesting you take half a year break, no- maybe 3 days? A week? Do something else, don't visit CA/dA/flickr or whatever might confront you with drawing, and just switch off and enjoy other parts of your life.

You might find that a break like that is more helpful in the long run. You are bashing yourself quite badly and it's really not justified, though I completely understand how you feel. During my break I realized all those good aspects of drawing again that made me come back. It can be anything- colours, watching people, scenes with a particular feeling; etc.

And here a tip someone gave me in my sb: stop the comments next to your work. Stuff like "omg", "crap", "silly need to redo" don't make you feel positive about your work and when you come back to it later, you will always see your negative comments alongside and that can be quite draining.

Heads up
(I don't mean any offense)

[shiNIN]

-------- reply begins (I totally need empty lines in a single reply) ---------
Nope I won't take a break. I barely drew last week, it was more than enough. My life is at stake!
(I had this idea before, by the way. with my nonexistent self discipline, it's IMPOSSIBLE to do that. I'm very stubborn.)

And... Not being confronted with drawing? Well maybe, though I watch anime practically every day but... At least I will be reminded I have to draw. Clouds! Beautiful, pretty, awesome clouds in the sky! If I wouldn't be a hedonist, I would feel quilt when I look at them.

Oh no, next time I visit my lil stuff, I'm ALWAYS much more displeased with it My inner critic is improving all the time
Don't worry, I totally see the positive side of my stuff. I don't feel so totally horribly bad as before. I leveled up at anatomy, flaw, whatnot, so I'm quite fine except I barely draw. It's obvious I mess up things now and then, it doesn't cause me troubles
I don't even avoid drawing figures now, they are nice enough to keep me going. It's just I'm too slow. In a wrong way: I totally get in my own way. I'm blocking myself. That's what I fight with a passion. And I will win.
-------- end of reply --------------------------------------------------

Well just some silly things, I mostly used stylized stuff as reference... It may be fun and even useful but I don't feel _I_ did it at all. At least I didn't slavishly copied them. Whatever.
I wanted to do more today (I have more but even less finished). Why am I tired? I don't really get it. I hope I won't fall asleep I wanna draw ~ Yay.

[LordLouis]

Oh... that's good to hear
Keep it going then.. for baby faces, see Loomis

[shiNIN]

For baby faces, I'll use photos. I don't really like Loomis anyway. Sorry that I always disagree

Snow falling before a warm day, it's so pointless. I can't concentrate on things, the long walk in the snow (it's choir day ~) surely will do good. I wanna be active this evening!

Maybe it wasn't the best idea to hold this scarf in my left hand. I use it to push buttons on my tablet all the time. The folds kept changing, well at least I didn't slip into blindless copying mode but because of my state of mind, I can't really analyze what's going on.
This scarf has, like, one color but there are matte and shiny streaks. I made a knot because it always looks so good. It probably doesn't apparent the shiny ones are visible below the matte ones when they get enough light... If I could show that, and the weaving of the material, along with all details and colors and I would know what am I doing, I would be pleased. Probably. (And reflected light from the pinkish walls, that's important. I will paint my walls over but I will get new ones in a few month. Only one wall will remain. I will get new windows!!!! With sunlight!!! I will be able to paint awesome sunsets and clouds without taking pics If I will be quick enough.)

[braineater]

just need to say that i really like your poses and your pencil work
you improved so much since your first post
keep up the good work

[littlebones]

Hey hey! I like the colour you're adding, and the stripper(?) lady a couple posts ago. And I know Louis told you to take a break, but I'm gonna respectfully disagree. Breaks are curses; I know, I had a "quick break" that turned into 5 years. You've just got to fuck through the tough times, pardon my french. Seems you've already decided that, though! He IS right about not writing so much self-effacing stuff on your sketches, though. Allow yourself to make mistakes! If you do something wrong and you notice, maybe write what it was you did wrong in a factual way for your own ref, or be like "what's going on here?" so people can give you some appropriate crit, but no insulting yourself. (Said the pot to the kettle.)

[AdrianNagorski]

Thats it mate, little by little and before you know it you've done tons!!!
Pressure - for me every time i see LM or others post in the spartan camp makes me
think hell am i even trying?! the way i see it its all of us competing for work against each other,
so at the end of the day i look at work all over the site and try to hypothetically imagine
me and the other artist applying for work at Blizzard for instance, and most of the time i ain't cutting it, therefore im under pressure and also with the life i have under time constraints, which sometimes God knows i put upon myself. Thats the sort of pressure im
talking about i think it doesn't go away, its not the fear of what others think, its more
on the lines of what would put bread on the table and what wont.

Besides that thanks for coming back to my page again, great input as always, i'll have to
do another value study with hard brushes now! LOL

[shiNIN]

braineater: Thanks/OF COURSE I improved, it was eons ago! Tell me nice things like I improved in the last year, it would be even true /Alas, another SB to visit, it won't be very soon, there's a queue at the moment. [..] Oh, a new SB? Cool. It gets difficult when I meet someone with a 35 page SB FULL with awesome stuff I have to see and even copy a bit

littlebones: I CAN'T not write down the deep cries of my inner critic. Sorry if it troubles anyone but it's my Sb and my stuff. To me, it's nothing, my self critic says much more brutal things in private, I assure you I didn't even notice I write such things.
Others opinion? I basically don't want opinions and advices (but they are nice anyway except when someone praises something I dislike. that's annoying a bit), I just keep this SB at the moment because without it I would draw even less. I simply didn't reach the level where critic has much use. I need to practice a lot and my critic says stuff anyway. That's why I never put anything into Critique Center. I never do anything I can say I did my best and don't see what to fix.

AdrianNagorski: LM isn't that far away, let's chase him! Even if the result doesn't really matter, the important thing is to do our best. I'm competitive and it's good to be here in CA I don't know if I would be able to draw all alone.
My pressure in life is very special now but I try not to think about it.

Hey people!

The weather is perfect, I bought a lot of onion seeds, various colored onions, yay! And I did a few one row comments into other topics, yay.
I'm in a better state as ever but I wanna draw everything at once and I get tired so it will take some time till things get sort out.
[later]
I dedicate all my time to drawing but it doesn't mean I can do much. It's annoying. But evening is just started My time.

I tried to draw the scarf again. It keeps failing epically, really. I don't know how can I be so bad at it now

And I'm so slow at things even my pet onion lost its patience. It's not the one that was my model for my last 2 onion painting. I tried to do something before I put it away (I can't eat such a close little friend. It will have a nice time in my garden).
It's dark because I just painted as I see it and there was little light.
One small root thingie broke off and I didn't even paint it nicely. I'm a bad owner

[shiNIN]

My bad relationship with time pisses me off. Besides, my Russkij Standard vodka is gone and I don't like the rest we have (Glen Elgin isn't a bad whisky but not my favourite and it would be a waste to drink if my goal is merely to get drunk a lil bit. my BF likes it. but it's almost gone ad we'll have Glenlivet! ).

I tend to have an obsession sometimes. Now it's GOLDEN SILK. Well, shiny drapery and gold, separately, but they combine sooo nicely into a golden silk bow
Silk is tricky, I sucked at it today. I hate when I'm worse than in the past MUCH worse.
That golden bow took a lot of struggle and I know it's not so good but I'm not unpleased.
I created a brush, lost it, created another and didn't use either for the bow
Unusually, you have my palettes too. I surely used other colors as well, I'm like that.

[shiNIN]

I still post, like, everything. Not like I do much.




It happened in Spartan Camp #215:

[Ramalooke]

Yeah! You are doing great, just keep momentum going!

[untier]

I see something energetic is forming.

[Lightship69]

Hi matey

I have some thoughts on your posting problem, Post the start and then a couple of mid range drawings and then a finished one or you could do what I do and post your experiments and attempts at stuff in here and then put the finished stuff online in a gakkery! I havnt done that bit yet I'm still trying to do something good LOL.

all the best to you my matey peeps

[the ANGRY filipino]

Ah SHiNiN, I haven't been drawing for a while but after looking at your progress..you have inspired me to pick up where I left off..thank you!

[shiNIN]

the ANGRY filipino: Man, are you ALIVE?! I've thought of you now and then, you totally disappeared!!! So you will come back? YAY!

Okay, I do a post then, with replies and stuff. I really dislike post without any picture.

Ramalooke, untier: Yeah, it's even more different inside. I kinda got free, things interest me more, I memorize stuff easier and don't get scared and lazy so quickly ("oh, it's so difficult, I never could do it", I had such moments before).

Lightship: I rarely have so long stuff, my problem was I want to show all my scribbles But it's really not a big problem, the big is that I still don't do my best.

I totally lost momentum in the last days I was busy, the rebuilding of this house wouldn't be so simple, rules and whatnot... But hopefully it will be nice in the end. It's my first own home, I really need it to be lovely. I'm a hedonist, after all.

It seems I lost my golden jackal sketches, I don't really understand... [EDIT: Oh I remember. The blackout last night...] I have just these, pencil stuff comes later, there aren't much anyway. I'm kinda down now. The weather is perfect though, birds chirping and stuff.


I miss my jackals but I will redo it. Well it was practice and they will be better this time, won't they.