beginning of a long way... (mild nudity)

[shiNIN]

more for Spartan Camp...


I need to draw some heads and then something easier and relatively new... still life, enviro, doodling with colors while listening to some music...

[Surion]

Yes! Keep the updates flowing, cause theyre awesome!
Proportions look good, so keep doing what you're doing!

[shiNIN]

Hopefully I will draw much more tomorrow.

[shiNIN]

I did some pencil head/skull/eyes studies today and this head in PS. It's wrong on so many levels but it's late already... I'm still completely lost if it's about brush settings, pressure sensitive opacity and fixed size is strange to me but pressure sensitive size didn't work well either. I'll try again tomorrow.

[S_Gangl]

woah

cool anatomy studies!!!! Great job!
You know, what you are doing...

looking foreward seeing more

[shiNIN]

S_Gangl: I know, I just don't do it... I should practice everything a lot... But I'll try harder.

Oh human face, my favourite subject, I usually draw faces and nothing else. But it doesn't know I have much idea about it. I fail at even a mere 3/4 face but I will do studies about it every day or so *determined*. I fail at drawing hair horribly. I need study them already.



Oh and some quick spartan camp stuff. I have no idea what brush settings to use. Probably I will learn to do sketches with my round hard brushes with fixed opacity and pressure sensitive size... They seem to work best for me. It means they are hard to use but everything else seems impossible... I'll keep experimenting though.

[shiNIN]

Today's update... I started more, I'll finish them tomorrow.
Struggle with brush settings again...



Lookie I did an enviro This fact made me happy, no matter what Quick random no effort stuff (but I researched a bit), that's why the half size, it doesn't deserve more It deserves nothing but I never draw anything by myself (except some faces), let alone an enviro, it is a step forward... Yay. (My tiny remained Tegaki RP life forced me to do this, but still... I did it)

[wunts]

some really nice quick character drawings, i couldnt imagine some of them getting any better unless you wanted to go and finish them off more.
I do pressure sensitive size too (they are the ones im especially talking about) I know a lot of people say you should use opacity for pressure but I figure size is more useful sometimes too.

[shiNIN]

wunts: Thanks, I just try to do a lot of quick sketches and in the end, being able to render expressive faces quickly... I spend way too much time on everything, my brush settings problems are partially to blame for this.
I guess there are no Single Right Way, everyone should find what suits him/her best. Pressure sensitive opacity often looks weird to me, I use it for some subtle shading only. I can't do much with fixed sized brushes and both size and opacity on pressure is confusing.
Probably solids would be useful, I would go nuts in the beginning just like with using a real pen I'm not someone who can work in a nice clear way.
I need experiments.

[shiNIN]

Today I'm barely awake, I do some effortless but fun stuff... A quick Tegaki sketch heavily based on someone else's pic and a bit longer photo refd sketch.
I always rush hair, I'm way more interested in faces, more rules, therefore easier in some sense... it's so stupid, I will do hair studies, I need to concentrate on this very important topic

[wunts]

nice cheekbones.

[Nemome]

Hey!

Last portrait looks good! Nice use of values!
Just keep practicing and keep the studies up!

Greetings, Sil

[shiNIN]

Thanks!
I already noticed it's good when I'm almost asleep and do effortless things without any thinking... Even brush settings didn't bother me today... Hopefully I can improve doing such things too.
I plan to work on this guy more, the original is soooooooo cool looking.

I dislike my posts without any drawing so here's something I did yesterday. Just some copy, I plan to do real things in chiaroscuro approach. It was extremely quick and fun. The yellowish one is my current Tegaki E avatar, made in, like, one minute?
Oh and I messed up the background, it''s too light.



Too much blurb again, I better go to bed... *yawns*

[Surion]

Awesome! All the updates!
And like, big improvement going on also! The portraits are like,.. very good?!
Keep it up matey!

[Deodatus]

Great SB and nice variation of studies. Keep it up!

[shiNIN]

Surion: thanks! I'm almost pleased with my faces sometimes It's a big improvement It's so much fun, I'll draw much more from now on

Deodatus: Thanks! Oh I need to draw zillion other things, especially enviros, hair, clothes... I'm too focused on the human face, I find it fascinating and well, I'm best with that...

Last night at Tegaki, in an almost asleep state... 20 minutes, zillion useless strokes and erasing... It's not really colored, I just started with purple and added his own color (he's Fuchsia, everyone represents a color in the only Tegaki E group I'm in):


It woke my self critic on so Cream wasn't so much carefree fun and I stopped early... 30mins. She's the character of mine who I always draw in a very stylized way (her profile is in #230). She's 18 but looks younger, must be oozing with cute... It's not good yet but a step toward my goal

[shiNIN]

I barely drew today, again Just these:
Indie again... It wasn't easy but fun and when I tried to add the forgotten speckles, it didn't look good. But I like this pic for some reason (even if his eyes aren't symmetrical or maybe they had some other issues too... shirt and background blotches are rushed)

Spartan Camp #160 optional: material study. So easy, I should draw still life more often.

[shiNIN]

I have a very annoying headache, I can't focus and my mood is crappy.
I tried to copy some still life because they usually are so easy... hopeless. I show one of them hoping I will try again with better results soon.
I played with my Cream pic, far from good, sketchy, I should work on everything (random coloring, I have no idea how to draw hair, even my favourite topic, her eyes didn't get the attention they need) but it's better than the previous version...

[shiNIN]

Indie's eyes were very assymmetrical last time, I played with that pic too (and gave him freckles):

[Karein]

I really like the way your glasses turned out from the spartan camp, I would love to see more Great work so far, I'll check back to see how your going soon

[shiNIN]

Karein: Thanks! I like that one too but I guess I was lucky And warmed up. It was so easy and fun.

But still lifes usually are extremely hard for me it seems. I don't know how to draw most of the objects.

I have to solve my biggest problem right now: I get up, I'm useless in the first, like, 8 hours (I can't even start to draw even if I try. just like studying in my childhood. I simply can't), and if I actually draw something, that's crappy. It's no wonder I usually avoid drawing My "yay, I can draw a bit" state is very hard to get and I lose it easily and next morning I'm usually back to square one I wonder if only I am this pathetic.

I hate turning my SB into whining again but I'm so confused and mad I want to draw. When I'm warmed up, everything is so beautiful, drawing is easy and fun and quick... But usually I'm blocked all day, except maybe 1-2 evening hour now and then.
I try to be strong and always draw, no matter how crappy and lost I will be. It will hurt but wasting my years hurts more.

Glass, peanut, tiny metal bowl and an extremely messed up clay dino, being lost at brush settings as usual. I like this dino because I think it will be useful. I wish to draw it many times, making experiments with reflected light and whatnot.


I plan to draw them later when I feel better.

[LtPlissken]

I do not understand, why do you feel so down,
and why can't you draw?
You lack motivation or something?
I will follow your work if it means something to you,
and will give you some nice comments from time to time.
Let's work together.
Here is a five for start.

[ladyknowles]

Wow you've improved so much already!! Amazing!

[shiNIN]

ladyknowles: Thanks, yeah I did. Now I have some ideas about heads and some copy skills and suck with everything else. I need practice much more!

LtPlissken: Thanks a lot for your comforting words
But I don't deserve any stars, a kick in the butt would be more proper but it wouldn't work from far away and I'd get offended. My perfectionist self are in an SM relationship with my lazy blocked self anyway... I try to fight my inner battle but comments can help, I love them. I feel all warm and fuzzy inside reading most of them.

I played with Audiosurf almost all day I have just pencil sketches, I won't shot them.
*sigh* Well here's this crappyness for now. I plan to draw these clouds well and not looking at my ref. I plan to study real clouds as well, of course. They are awesome And I totally can't draw them.



{total blurb, you are officially warned. I'm practically asleep. 3am. I go to sleep now or mess my next day}
I spent a lot of time with this but I have now own brushes called "cloudwalker 1,2...etc." now. Too plain ones, I'll need more. And I should have some ideas what to do with my brush settings. It's so hard, I wish to control everything by will Just like making photos while riding my bike...
We live in a cruel world but it has so pretty things...

[ladyknowles]

ladyknowles: Thanks, yeah I did. Now I have some ideas about heads and some copy skills and suck with everything else. I need practice much more!

LtPlissken: Thanks a lot for your comforting words
But I don't deserve any stars, a kick in the butt would be more proper but it wouldn't work from far away and I'd get offended. My perfectionist self are in an SM relationship with my lazy blocked self anyway... I try to fight my inner battle but comments can help, I love them. I feel all warm and fuzzy inside reading most of them.

I played with Audiosurf almost all day I have just pencil sketches, I won't shot them.
*sigh* Well here's this crappyness for now. I plan to draw these clouds well and not looking at my ref. I plan to study real clouds as well, of course. They are awesome And I totally can't draw them.


{total blurb, you are officially warned. I'm practically asleep. 3am. I go to sleep now or mess my next day}
I spent a lot of time with this but I have now own brushes called "cloudwalker 1,2...etc." now. Too plain ones, I'll need more. And I should have some ideas what to do with my brush settings. It's so hard, I wish to control everything by will Just like making photos while riding my bike...
We live in a cruel world but it has so pretty things...

I had a problem with clouds at first, but then I realised if you use a really big brush with the hardness at zero and start with dots, then work your way into detail with a smaller/harder brush you get quite a nice effect.

[Jaunay]

It's great seeing your improvement, the life studies are great, you're really getting good proportions for faces, and cream she's starting to ooze the cute. Reminds me of cream and peaches, a little on the furry side but equally as cute. I want to see more of her design!

I know it's hard I feel discouraged a lot of the time, but the more i give the more i get back. I'll be back for more here, you're going places.

[Ramalooke]

Hi there. It's a nice sketchbook you have . I don't have any big advices for you. It's seems you know what to do and definitely you are going in the good direction. Your digitals look a little blurry. It's probably a matter of finishing them off but still. Try to push them a little farther. My regards

[LtPlissken]

Clouds looking great.
Plus they are orangy color.
I like them very much.
Now, post something more, I want to
see some graphite pencil drawings, come on
come on, make me happy.

[shiNIN]

LtPlissken:
No, I could do better and I looked at my reference, they aren't my own, my precious...

I'm sorry but my pencil drawings are always very messy, I fill everything with strong strokes in no time... except if they are some detailed faces but those are quickies too. And when I shot them, the result is uglier (scanners weren't any better when I tried, for some reason). Since I'm used to my big tablet and keep losing my favourite pencils, I like digital drawing more. I wonder if it's bad.

But in the last two days I didn't draw. I have a new HDD and OS, problems, copying for hours... Some audiosurf... Today I wondered about my last years and looked at this SB and my Tegaki drawings.
There are some I never showed though they were important to me. Or it's interesting to see how I improved. I started to doubt I improved much. I could copy in the past too. Okay, my faces became better and if I do some lazy effortless stuff, it isn't so horrible than before. Well, stupid thought, let it slide. Just because my first Tegaki drawings were much better than many later... Time, effort, attitude matters a lot.

Tomorrow is a spartan camp deadline again. I didn't even started to draw gestures. What have I done this week? I don't even work... Today I baked my first pumpkin pie at least.

I'm a huge procastinator. It's something that now, when I do nothing, I mean I don't draw, this nothing is related to drawing. Tutorials about drawing pinup girls, Critique Center activity (I'm a harsher critic than before), SBs...

I could put some chibis here from my Tegaki past. They're cute. Wouldn't that be okay? No? I feared it won't... *sigh*

I feel so bad now But you gave me a little motivation... Thanks for the nudge

[shiNIN]

It will be really big. I hope it won't hurt too much...
Some parts are tiny anyway but they don't deserve more.
I'll be gentle and I put here only the first part. More will come.

Retrospection. I don't expect anyone to read it.

The story started here on CA where I found a link to Tegaki in someone's SB...
From that time on, my digital drawings were created there, exceptions were extremely rare. I got motivation, created and played with characters, went crazy when I tried to draw faces in a few minutes with lines in a Flash program... I loved entries much better but with my small Wacom and even smaller skills they were stressful to draw. I'm not the one who is content with some rushed crap (sometimes it happened though).

I drew about 600 entries and 10000 comments. I spent (wasted? I don't know) more time on my comments than many children on entries... sometimes over 30 minutes (hands are hard you know. or complicated poses where I need my model or at least a mirror or some thinking). Oh and I wrote very long and complicated texts (almost all my characters think and speak much), it took much time as well.

I bought my new tablet (Intuous3 A4 Oversize, I love it) in Juny of 2009 if I remember correctly. I need some time to get used to it but it made a huge difference. My face drawing skills got better too. I neglected almost everything else. I drew some animals, copied some figures but that's all, almost no enviros and backgrounds.

I had fun. I got a better and much quicker. I still can't draw comments well. Stupid lines.

There are too many groups nowadays, they die easily. I have one group left, the one where Silver, Ebony and Cream belong.
I don't join new ones.
I don't know what future brings but I finished my Tegaki oriented erm, art life. (I don't consider my stuff art or myself an artist yet)

OLD STUFF


I had to.