The Zombie Apocalypse

[Peter Coene]

I say if it lurches, and has a less than rosy pallor, kill it.

Why take a chance?

Night of the Living Homeless

[arttorney]

I'm not sayin' because I don't want to find out that everybody with an internet connection stole my idea. Besides, I don't know how many of you are secretly zombies trying to find out this information from gullible living people on the internet. (Well, there's a couple of you that I can already tell about).

[Mitchell]

if there were a zombie apocalypse, I would do this

[Peter Coene]

(Well, there's a couple of you that I can already tell about).

Ugh *mumble* grrr!....


...er, I mean, what would give you that idea?

[daestwen]

if there were a zombie apocalypse, I would do this

Yessss. Zombie Rave!

[tomwaits4noman]

Hail to the king, Baby

[REGNIRUTH]

I don't know here I'd go, but I'd definately bring THIS along. It's sharp, it's big, and I've killed a chicken with it!

haha, whats with the bandaid? is it really that sharp? i assumed it was dull.
but anyways, did you make it?

[walnut]

Is that thing for cutting the zombies' heads off or spanking their putrid little bottoms?

[SalOnimaruRem]

if there wuuuz a zombie apocalypse...

well i will become murderous, yes that's right murderous

MURDER MURDER MURDER ME a Fuckin ZombiE! lol no seriously, my human extinct and behavior become a savage beast!!

no seriously, i am asain and asain people can fight XP XP XP sooo, equip my ninja suit(just plain black clothe) , ma sword and go chop me some zombie's heads

my weapons of choice for killing zombie:
~long double bladed Katana (For long range and be on the safe side) *droooool*
~short double bladed katana (For close range and killing speed) *droool*
~Guns + lots of ammunition (powerful ones, purfurabely turret, shotgun or chain guns, if aquirable), of course, can't go out without letting out some trigger happy insanity
~grenades or bombs (if aquirable)

weapons i say unfitted for time like this:
~baseball bat *no time to play games here*
~Sticks *i say adios to your sorry ass*
~flame thrower *fire will be all over the place, leaving u little chance to escape alive*
~rocket launcher *bad for close combat when your surround by tons of it* (if your gonna use this i prefer u go to high grounds for better survivle fromt he blast)
~pocket knife, butter knife, kitchen knife..etc *good gaaawd wat are u chef zombie*
~brass knuckes or like wolverine claws *tooo, waaaay too close up combat* (wat are u suicidal)
~wips *how naughty* (seriously it better have razor blade on it and very long too, but the range of it would require u to be far from the pact leaving u little chance to recieve help)
~bow and arrows (it is good but i hope u have 100% head shot accuracy or you'll be just wasting arrows or otherwise have flaming or explosive errors)
~shotgun (powerful close range but long reload)
~ there sould be more but i can't think of anymore right now....


well if i can't aquire most of the weapon i will stick to my katanas

place to hide out, i say cubfood or small stores (need the food to survive)

[Kek]

Oni, i must disagree.....

shotguns would definitely be effective in a zombie invasion. reload time isn't that bad when you consider how much damage each shot can deal to a zombie.

[SalOnimaruRem]

Oni, i must disagree.....

shotguns would definitely be effective in a zombie invasion. reload time isn't that bad when you consider how much damage each shot can deal to a zombie.

I know it can do lots of damage, but look at these two scenerio

~your outside running with a shotgun out number and in fronr of you ther are tons more coming at you and your surrounded trying to look for a way out to escape, and your shooting shots after shots as you go along while looking for a place that is safe, soon your will run out of it and maybe panic but try to reload as fast as you can, while reloading zombies are gettin closer and closer or be right next to you so how will you react quickly and effectively.

YOu may manage to dish out a few more round but it is not enough to take out a massive qauntity of them at once and still keep going

~you barracaded yourself, you have shotgun and limited ammo, u can't sit day looking out the window, shoot shoot shoot as much as it hold and then reload again and do it all over again. You would run out of ammo and when u have a plan to escape you have no other effective defenses and offenses to get u to where u need to go

Wasting ammo would be wrong to do cause conservating ammo is a need to do cause once u have a plan u will need all the weapon and ammo u can get so i sugest using other alternative for effective killing instead of wasting ammo, unless u have so much ammo u could waste all the zombie while drinking a glass of martini

if i'm missing more tell me, i am too light headed to keep think, i had a 20 minute nose bleed and lost i say a cup of blood, luckily i had help to stop the bleeding and u know what sucked after that, i have an exam to do O.O

[0kelvin]

Stairs and doors are your friend. Zombies don't deal well with either, so something like an apartment building is a good temporary shelter. They should also be well-stocked with plenty of food and supplies. If you're expecting full blown zombogeddon rather than a small temporary outbreak, you're going to want to get out of the city, somewhere cold and remote.

Just like business, the most important part of zombie apocalypse is location, location, location. The best way to survive isn't to go around busting heads with the perfect weapon, it's to avoid the zombies altogether.


Eric

[Wooly ESS]

I live on the prairies. I can see a mile in any direction. I'll be on the roof with a high powered rifle, picking them off as they cross the neighbour's cow pasture. Head shots only.

I don't plan on letting any of them get close enough for a sword to make any difference.

[SalOnimaruRem]

I live on the prairies. I can see a mile in any direction. I'll be on the roof with a high powered rifle, picking them off as they cross the neighbour's cow pasture. Head shots only.

I don't plan on letting any of them get close enough for a sword to make any difference.

well i hope you have enough ammo to last u
until then better think of plan B

[Wooly ESS]

Good point. Better stock up.

[Slash]

I'm prepared! I've got a handful of plans, and even more contingency plans for when shit hits the fan. I got this thing where i assess every situation I'm in, and every locale i visit, and figure out how to best defend myself in case of a zombie outbreak. (Yeah, I'm never bored. )

The local hospital:

Pros:

-Its a tall building, you get a good view of the surrounding area.
-Plenty of beds for sleeping. the beds are also very easy to move around, so they can be used to barricade the stairwells.
-It's a hospital. There's medicine, medical equipment, supplies and laboratories.
-A large kitchen in the basement. Small ones on every floor.
-Surveillance and communication
-Has its own generators for power.
-Helicopter pad.
-Has a garage with sturdy and well-supplied ambulances in case an evacuation is needed.
-Tons of supplies. Everything from sheets to tape. Macgyver could build rome in a day with all the stuff found in hospitals.

Cons:
-Many people will probably gather here. More people = more people to care for, and more potential undead.
-Likely to be filled with sick people or zombies. I wouldn't know what to do with the sick people. If its full of zombies I've devised plans on how to lure them out and/or kill them.

Another plan include anchoring a ferry a little off the shore. The pros of this would be maneuverability, little chance of zombies getting on board, very high decks to scout and snipe from, toilets and a basic kitchen. Cons include limited water, limited supplies and few decent places to sleep. We would have to land every now and then and send raiding parties ashore to get food, water and supplies.

Then there's this little island close to where i live. No one is living there, but its an old old church, with an old farmhouse and barn where the priests and stuff used to live. There's a pretty good deer population, there's plenty of wood for burning, and the farm has tools and utilities. Pros include no population, being cut off from the outside world and decent housing. Cons include few supplies, no communication with the outside world, the place being full of ticks, and of course its haunted as hell. (800 year old church, houses around are 100-300 years old.)

All of the above are plans for the slow moving romero kind of zombie.

It's a little trickier planning for a I am legend or 28 days later kind of zombie outbreak. It complicates clearing areas of zombies, and they kill/infect a lot faster. My plan in that case is to stay mobile and seek out low population areas. The ideal place for that kind of outbreak would be a remote island or an oil rig. Of course the latter would need a helicopter.. There's plenty of basically abandoned fishing communities around here, only accessible by boat. I think that might be the most realistic and practical choice.

The Zombie Survival Guide has lots of useful info. Weapons and stuff are nice and all, but think if you really want to survive a zombie outbreak you have to be practical. Always think What would macgyver do? Don't take any unnecessary chances. Firearms are bad if the zombies are attracted to sound. Also if the head is the only place that will kill it, you have to be a pretty good shot in very stressed situations. I'm not saying i wouldn't want a gun in that situation, I'm just saying i wouldn't rely on it too much - rather keep it as a last resort. I think a crowbar or a machete would be more useful. (also serving other purposes than just killing.)

[arttorney]

You never see people surrounding their digs with bear traps in zombie movies. It works on werewolves after all. Maybe they don't see the aesthetic value of having a big field of live zombies chained up out front. That must be it.

If you want to use the trap over again you will eventually have to do something about the zombie. Maybe if you have a backhoe you can crush it with the bucket without hurting your bear trap too much.

(Everybody taking notes?)

Maybe you can make these big old plywood pieces with flypaper goop on them like giant roach motels. If you want to be comical, just make them about 2 ft square so the zombies can still walk around really slow like zombie ducks with plywood feet. I think it would be an interesting variation on performance art.

[SalOnimaruRem]

Slash i like the hide out and all, but where would you get food and plus with a lot of people won't u run out of food in watever time?
i'll be the guy who protects yall by woopin some zombie's ass

[Slash]

Arttourney, bear traps are hard to come by. And if there is a store that carries them in your town chances are they don't have a whole lot in stock.

Various kinds of traps are a good idea tho. Father gregori had the idea in ravenholm.

//edit: Oni Rem, your strategy won't hold up. You're gonna need to stop for food and sleep eventually. Then you'd have to improvise and sleep somewhere potentially unsafe. A hospital is pretty well stocked on food. I'm thinking a group of say 20 people could easily live a couple of months off of their supplies. And if things got really really desperate the morgue would be full of frozen steak.

[light]

I don't know if anyone's read this book? It's hilarious and useful (although there's nothing funny about a looming zombie invasion!):

http://www.amazon.com/Zombie-Surviva...6643311&sr=8-1

This is, along with fight club, atlas shrugged and fear and loathing is basically the only book most people online read.

[VulgarDragon]

Zombies? No, shotgun and knives won't work. They are already dead so you can't really kill them with a gun or knife. I'm gonna build me a flamethrower and when they come, they will be done extra crispy.

[Slash]

This is, along with fight club, atlas shrugged and fear and loathing is basically the only book most people online read.

What is your point? It doesn't take away from the fact that they are all good books. And in this day and age the fact that anyone reads anything should be celebrated, not ridiculed - bandwagon or not. //edit: I'm actually glad the bandwagon exists, otherwise one of these books might have slipped under my radar. And you should be glad too, it gives you another thing to be a smartass about.


Steering back from Light's great and relevant (as usual) contribution to this thread, I thought I'd mention army manuals for survival, you can find them online. A ton of great info that might save lives, not just during zombie outbreaks, but also in less apocalyptic and more realistic emergencies.

[wassermelone]

This is, along with fight club, atlas shrugged and fear and loathing is basically the only book most people online read.

That popular thing you like? It sucks.

[kev ferrara]

Here's what I don't get. This whole Zombie Apocalypse thing is premised on the fact that "When there is no more room in hell, the dead will walk the earth." Well, okay, fine. But I always assumed Hades would be infinite... like Heaven is. It is imaginary after all. So how could they run out of room?! It doesn't make sense. So it sounds like there's some kind of fucked up real estate scam going on in the afterlife, which is typical of those unholy bastards.

Either way, I think the only smart option is to simply make more room in hell by bulldozing or whatever. I guess the contractors who built the Chunnel could probably put the proper crew together to do the digging and the blasting.

Barring that, I think a good idea is to go hide in a newly vacated grave with your rations. Zombies only seem to leave their graves and I never see them return. So you'll be safe until Zombie Jesus arrives.

[enrigo]

I'm prepared! I've got a handful of plans, and even more contingency plans for when shit hits the fan. I got this thing where i assess every situation I'm in, and every locale i visit, and figure out how to best defend myself in case of a zombie outbreak. (Yeah, I'm never bored. )

The local hospital:

You forgot one Con point, that hospital at night is the most fucking scary place to be. A graveyard suddenly sounds like a great hangout place compare to hospital...

[Nam]

I'm sure with my luck I would end up getting bit on the tip of my pinky. -_-

[Slash]

Hehe enrigo, i guess having hangups about hospitals is a rather common thing. Good thing for me that they don't bother me much then.

[JessiBean]

I think I might recommend World War Z to those of you making plans, might help shed some light on where we will all go wrong.


Also made a zombie/vampire/undead pact with the boy... if one goes, we both go. Though being a Zombie would be smelly after a while.

[madhatter106]

I think I might recommend World War Z to those of you making plans, might help shed some light on where we will all go wrong.

I second that motion! For anyone who liked Brooks' Zombie Survival Guide...I felt this one blew it out of the water. I inhaled the last half of this book in a single sitting. The chapters on the Battle of Brooklyn, the rogue Chinese submarine, and the otaku fleeing Tokyo were especially good...

[Lake]

if they're thriller zombies, I'd bust out some MAD C-Walking/Moonwalking/Breakdance moves and then those BRAINSUCKAZ got SERVED.