The only thing i can say to this Dan is that its to yellow, I said this a lot of times on stream maybe you just missed it but i would try to add more red into it because the original has a lot of red tones in specially around cheeks and nose.

The only really yellow/orange part on this painting should be around the eyebrow where the light hits, like right on top of the eyebrow.

You seem to be strong at drawing so i would suggest focus more on colors than drawing, it just seams it will help you at this point.

keep it up.
Stay excellent!