comic submission

[Raoul Duke]

EDIT: EVERYTHING HAS CHANGED
I'm nearing the final stretch on this packet. It's inked, lettered and mostly defined. I can realisticly count on finishing five pages a week in this style.

http://i431.photobucket.com/albums/qq37/kirpid/1ink17-1.jpg

http://i431.photobucket.com/albums/qq37/kirpid/1ink18-1.jpg

http://i431.photobucket.com/albums/qq37/kirpid/1page20.jpg

http://i431.photobucket.com/albums/qq37/kirpid/1ink21-1.jpg

http://i431.photobucket.com/albums/qq37/kirpid/1ink22-1.jpg

http://i431.photobucket.com/albums/qq37/kirpid/1ink23-1.jpg

http://i431.photobucket.com/albums/qq37/kirpid/1ink24-1.jpg

http://i431.photobucket.com/albums/qq37/kirpid/1ink26-1.jpg
BTW
I'm still waiting on my lazy ass "Co-writers" to lift a finger.

[Raoul Duke]

I'm going away for a week. When I get back I'm going to break the panels apart for better web presentation. Hopefully it will be a smooth read on your fancy space phones and electronic book machines.

lazicoliver sent me a pretty good crit via pm because it was so long. Personally I encourage anybody to leave as long of a post as necessarry. I know I posted alot of content to crit. And I certainly appreciate anybody who is willing to take the time to give a thoughtful crit. I especially understand the complications of anylizing doesens of panels.

unresolved Issues lazicoliver covered are:
the main character (Dudley Compton) looks inconsistantly aged.
Missing details, espscially with the bad guys (Bird Feeders)
Overboard head stomping. (I disagree)
miscommunication in some of the pages, in the middle of the action.
Looks like rushed work. Which it is.
poor staging, inking and anatomy.
Fails to break away from the distinct influence of sin city. Admittedly I am gunning for an illousion based noire technique similar sin city, without looking like a knock off.

Keep in mind he was commenting on my previous pass, so some of these issues may be attiquitly resolved. The next pass will be focused on small groups of panels, so there is still room for refinement.

[lazicoliver]

Duke, what a difference. I'm realy impressed w/all the improvements especially pages four, six and seven. Looks like a different art. Much clearer and easier to follow. I think page seven is the bar to go for. When ready show us some more. peace

[Raoul Duke]

I went camping, I was stocked by a mountain lion and then I ate shrooms and shot an AK. What a vacation! Now I can go back to my all day "no sun, no sleep" work marathon without loosing my mind.
Lazi-
I'm glad to hear you're digging it.

BTW
I'm 86ing my writers. They haven't contributed anything other than back pats.

[Grey_Rift]

nice stuff look forward to seeing more

[Raoul Duke]

I'm basicly running each panel through the crit center.
http://www.conceptart.org/forums/showthread.php?p=3181555#post3181555

Grey Rift-Thank You. I'm glad to hear you're enjoying this.

[ashess]

do I need glasses? I honestly can't make out the words...

[Raoul Duke]

No you don't need glasses. I'm just not prowdly showing off the dialogue to be honest. I've been working in a vacuum and I'm still holding off for a writer. Frankly I'm pretty pissed that I got two writers on board to hedge my bets and they couldn't be bothered to write or even give feed back, other than "Cool Story Bro". Since I'm using "the Marvel Method" I think it must be awkward for an amatuer writer to jump on board. I'm currently reading web comics, looking for experienced and talented collaboraters.