Please Critique My Animated Short Film!

[breeson]

Please let me know what you think!
Check out my Animated Short film at:

http://www.aniboom.com/video/290528/A-day-in-the-life/

If you like it please vote, so we can make more cartoons!

more cartoons at:

http://www.apt323.com/

http://www.breeson.blogspot.com

Thanks!
Breeson

[williamwright]

I think that was probably to most awsome thing I've seen in a long time! great job! Its shares the same kind of humor that "Dads Home" did on newgrounds which too was very good. (link) (http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/195918) worth a watch c:

keep up the good work too!

[breeson]

http://www.aniboom.com/video/290528/A-day-in-the-life/

[Zergaloth]

Love It

[Nate3d]

Wowwie!!! I was laughing so hard at the short at work today! :teeth:

I think this is just fantastic use of limited animation! Great poses, great comedic timing. Just love it!

[Jae the animator]

Hello! :mod:
My name is Jae and this response isn't really about introducing myself, but since I'm on that subject, this is my first post here and I plan on putting my two cents in more often. Also I am going to try and post all of my stuff here.

I have been animating for ten years, I'm nineteen, I'm a student at the Art Institute in Austin, and I have a serious passion for animation. I'm pretty excited about posting in these forums, but really... this isn't about introducing myself although It's something I did :D

Regarding your animation:

The transitions in the beginning of the animation are pretty fun and they work really well with the simplistic style you have -- which, by the way, I love! You remind me of some of my favorite comic artists, KC Green (http://rumblo.com) and Pendleton Ward a.k.a. Penward (http://buenothebear.com). They have a great way of expressing emotion through simplistic characters and crudely entertaining the audience. But I can tell you put a lot of thought into the first scene in itself so I'll try to think hard about the way I critique it...

The window being below the bed in the beginning was a great idea. Even though it's not the way it's "supposed" to be, it works perfectly with the clean simple art style you have. You definitely had a nice sense of urgency in the beginning. This is something I think everyone can relate to but at the same time it tells you a lot about that character. In the two minutes watching this cartoon, I feel like I learned a lot about both of the characters and their relationship with each other.

I watched this video with the sound turned off so I could understand the movements better. The best part about this movie is that it tells a good story using gestures. Even though there were few words spoken, the clip spoke.

As Breeson hops onto the chair at the dining table the line of action and anticipation are awesome. I love all the exaggerated arms and limbs. I think this animation could be enhanced a lot if you just drew the in betweens, but really, it doesn't effect the viewing experience to the point of grueling effort being necessary.

The bit with the toilet is hilarious and I love the fact that you "went there". Same with all of the other crude gags. You did a good job making Breeson move. He is a mindless oaf while still remaining... err... I hate to say the word cute, but it seems to fit what I'm going for.

The bit with Breeson eating the pizza and Jenkins pulling it right out of his mouth was very creative. The part with the fighting could have had funnier poses but it was still funny enough. It's awesome how they got wasted a lot. For some reason it makes me like them more.

The character development is good with Jenkins as well. He seems to be the dominant one and he's a pretty funny guy. I think the sense of humor you displayed here should be shown in future cartoons. Oh man, when he peed on Breeson... That was brilliant, man. You did a great job and I can't wait to see more. Good job observing motions!

There isn't too much I would change about this.

[iven]

Hi Breeson this animation was very funny good job, with the music sound fx,
it's just fund and made me lough a lot, I gave you 5 stars. Hope to see you around
my animations as well.

[Immortal Cintiq]

I think it would work well as a web animation or bumper thing in adult swim.